its really frightening you know
you can leave if you want 

but i gotta get this out  

I'm angry  you know 
like I'm grinding my teeth
and can't relax 
like i could explode at the slightest little thing 

i just feel so angry 
you know 
like I'm grinding my teeth 
like i could explode at the slightest little thing 
and can't relax 

its really frightening 
you can leave if you want 
but i gotta get this out 

the fib 
have attacked my phone and broadband 
because of my anti Trump comments 

there's nobody there

the phone is cut off 
i can't get online 
sitting here on my own ... 

television is down 
as the darkness closes around me 

and nothing to numb the pain 
which thunders in my heart 

stampeded by the crowd
the dam about to burst 
the warmth of mummys heart 

i just cannot sleep 
the scar is too deep 

i live in a  choppy sea 
with 100ft waves 
that keep on sucking me under  ... 

i would like to point out 
that the recent terrorist attacks in Europe 
have put a stop to the anti - Trump protests ... 

so if you are thinking of taking over the West 
that is not the way to do it ... 

you warmed my frozen heart 

song : hammering my heart

I'm singing my heart out 
before it dies 

I wish i was dead 
the pain is so bad 
banging my soul 
hammering my heart 
to a pulp 

stampeded by the crowd 
the pressure on the dam 
about to burst 

they see a healthy person before them 
and chuck me out 

i live in a choppy sea
with 100 ft waves
that keep sucking me back under ...

poem : a mad woman

i fed the birds on the bridge on my way down
offending an angry tramp
you should be feeding me not the birds !
does he really want a bag of stale crusts ?

anyway who would listen to a mad woman ?

my neighbour sounds like nothing on earth
blood curdling noises involving a child
screaming no daddy no …
like a demonic alien

anyway who would listen to a mad woman ?

Sir so and so gave us a meditation
a whole hour concentrating on our crotches
still i don't see how a slag like me can complain
whats the difference ?

anyway who would listen to a mad woman ? 

but then who's gonna listen to a mad woman ? 

like a demonic alien. 

so there was this celebrity 
who gave us a mindfulness session at the mental health centre  
and asked us to concentrate on our genitals for a whole hour. 

and i feel i can't complain about it 
because we clients sit in there telling dirty jokes half the time 
so i don't have a leg to stand on. 

except that i feel its different when it comes to mediation  
and one led by a professional facilitator. 

and yet if i were to complain about it 
i could come off worse 
they could make it out to be all my problem ... 

my neighbour is screaming at the football
and he sounds like nothing on earth 
and I've heard weird things coming from there 
terrible noises 
and one time involving a child 
screaming 'no daddy no' 
it was a blood curdling horror scream 
i tried to speak to someone about it 
and they just dismissed me as nonsense 
but he really is terribly creepy 

the people at the sandwich shop
give me left over bread crusts
that i feed to the birds on the bridge in town.
something that i enjoy doing on my way down.

today there was a man begging nearby
and he started shouting at me
' what are you feeding them for, they're vermin ... '
i turned round to see who it was
and he started walking towards me
' you should feed the homeless not the birds ... '
i carried on with what i was doing
trying not to show that i was frightened

i don't think he is homeless
or he would have been moved on from here
as i have seen him harassing a busker also.
and I'm not likely to offer someone a bag of stale bread crusts !

at the same time i don't know if can report this
the police might want to know why i have spare bread
and where it comes from
and why i am throwing it in the river for the seagulls ...

you kind of sniff the air

his moods getting under my skin 

my brother's poem ...

070317 



Happy Butterfly Mum 

i feel like I'm learning Chinese. 
i don't need no occupational therapy 
i manage my own time thankyou 
with me guitar ... 

I'm sorry Dad
i dreamed i hugged you 
before its too late
just i need to be hardcore 
or I'm going to explode ... 


Happy Butterfly Mum 

040317 

making dirty jokes in the mental health centre ...
what do you expect ? 

i wanted to cry 
but the tears wouldn't come