281117

my hands are shaking 

and my heart pounding
so frightening feeling alone in the silence

281117

my nurse is on safari 
literally ! 
hunting gorillas ...

a furry tail ending ! 

251117

its more difficult for a woman to use force
but we can certainly create pressure 
like manipulating things 
or if its a vulnerable man 
threatening to leave him 
if he doesnt have sex with you 

and booting other people out the way 
like I've got to have this person at any cost 
make a conquest 
and plant that flag 

241117

still reeling from the impact

asking for it ... 

no thats in YOUR head 

241117 

shamed ... 
she's too busy dieting 
to care about me 

still reeling from the impact

241117 

presumptuous ? 

Im grinding my teeth 
my nerves are all shredded 

bullied 
n all the glitter is gone 
someone else got the nark

apparently I'm hostile 
and offensive
theres a human being in here ! 
not just a patient 

i feel as if I've been spanked 
and she doesnt like me 
n I'm not allowed to feel angry ? 

she's probably embarrassed 
when she goes to the loo ! 

like she's a mirror 
of insecurity  

song : I've taken the wrong meds

n im stuck here 
with a patient 
sitting outside 
in the night 

empty church hall
when they've all gone 
and turned out 
the lights 

I've taken the wrong meds
I'm out of control
speeding on caffiene 
my toys are all broke

I've broken a machine 
my friends have all left 

injured myself 
n im stuck here in the night 

181117 / 191117 

n im stuck here 
with a patient 

sitting outside
in the night 

deserted church hall
when they've turned out the lights 

I've taken the wrong meds 
n im out of control 

caffeine like speed ... 
my toys are in bits

n now I have broken 
a machine

my friends 
have all left me alone

I've injured myself 

181117 / 191117 

n im stuck with another mental patient 

sitting outside a deserted church 
on a dark night 

I've taken the wrong meds 
n im raging out of control 
speeding on caffeine ... 

my toys are in bits

n now I've broken a machine
my friends have left me 
n I've injured myself 

1 

this morbid obsession

n im stuffing my anger 

deep inside

so helpless 

2

i want to follow 

where ere she goes 

where that is 

she may be

3

cling to the wire monkey 

the motherboard

its all i have 

her cold embrace 

4

no status or dignity 

n I'm going off the rails 

shrouded in a veil of death

1 
this morbid obsession
n im stuffing my anger 
deep inside
feeling so helpless 
2
n i want to follow 
where ere she goes 
wherever that is 
she may be
3
attached to the wire monkey 
the motherboard
its all i have 
her cold embrace 
4
no status or dignity 
n I'm going off the rails 
shrouded in a veil of death

121117 / 131117 / 141117 / 161117 

this morbid obsession

n im stuffing my anger 

deep inside

i want my mummy 

n i want to follow her 

wherever she went

i just feel so helpless

attached to the wire monkey
the motherboard
its all i have
her cold embrace

no status or dignity
n I'm going off the rails
shrouded in a veil of death

1
the baby she cried for me
she could see i wasnt happy

i slammed a door
this is war
n then the sound of sirens 
2
they are coming to take me away
i don't know what to do 

this hurt feeling
a herd of cattle
nerves a jingle jangling 
3
this prickly heat
high on caffeine
i just feel so angry 

i don't know why
no second chance
cus she's gone gone gone 

song : the baby cried for me

the baby cried for me
she could see i wasnt happy

i slammed a door
this is war

n then the sirens
they are coming to take me away

i just don't know what to do
with this hurt feeling
being herded like cattle

my nerves are jingle jangling
in this prickly heat
n you could blame it on the caffeine

i just feel so angry
n i don't know why
n i don't get no second chance
cus she's gone gone gone

the baby cried for me 
she could see i wasnt happy 

091117

i slammed a door 
this is war 

n then the sirens 
they are coming to take me away 

061117 / 081117 

i just don't know what to do 
with this hurt feeling 
being herded like cattle 

071117

my nerves are  jingle jangling 
in this prickly heat

n you could blame it on the caffeine 

i just feel so angry 
n i don't know why
n i don't get no second chance 
cus she's gone gone gone 

song : familiar sounds

i just get too needy and clingy
and then i feel hurt and rejected

lairy sounds going on next door
through the thin walls
just one layer of brick

n its like they're in here
theres a party going on 

and I'm just here on my own
not used to being grown up

I'm used to hearing people swearing
arguing and banging doors

with aggressive dogs and people 
dragging bags of empty glass ...

people howling with their grief
you look much older dear

a biscuit to cheer you up
you can smash it up in your gob

051117

i just get too needy and clingy
and then i feel hurt and rejected 

lairy swearing going on next door 
through the thin walls 
just one layer of brick 
n its like they're in here 

theres a party going on 
and I'm just here on my own 

n im not used to being the grown up 

011117 / 021117

n you try to challenge them
n you're on trial ...

I'm used to hearing people arguing and banging doors
with aggressive dogs
people dragging bags of empty glass bottles ...
people howling with grief

you look much older dear
have a biscuit
you can smash that in your gob