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in the darkness of my mind 
n i never want to see him again 

he's loud and aggressive 
cyber sex made me psychotic 

this harrowing tragedy 
like being prised open 

he doesnt care how i feel 

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typical adult child

so anyway 
i fancied this guy 


n its not a promise 

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well I'm not feeling it 

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even in hospital
i remember dancing round the living room
with some other patients
waving my zimmer frame in the air
and cracking up laughing !

i thought at the time
that i would not be able to live in my home again
that i would have to go into sheltered accommodation

in some ways i felt free
there were whole weekends
where i didnt have to buy anything
or touch any cash
all the meals being provided
and having the company at mealtimes
practicing my communication skills

i got especially good
at negotiating what we were going to watch on tv
even with aggressive, scary people !

not that i would like to go back there
i hope that things don't happen in threes ...

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n ill never have it nailed 
but i made good friends along the way 
they love me for who i am 
and what more could i ask 

but I'm still at war with the neighbours 
n things will never change 

n so i must love myself 
in spite of this flaw 
i am still a beautiful child 
falling down to their level 

somehow things will change 
we'lll see the cracks in the ceiling 
where the light gets in 
reminding us of a better life 

n its just a trick of the light 

i don't even know him 
its highly unlikely 
to be possible 

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so, tell us what you do ! 

i knew i could tell you how i felt 
actually I'm a zombie 
at least i will be 
if i watch any more screens 
or take any more pills 

i hear distant drums 
bullied online 

my broken soul 
it was like he couldn't stop himself