010518 

I'm always being watched 
it drove me crazy
n i was banged up for it 
slammed up in a mental hospital 

they hold you down 
pull your pants down 
and inject you with some utter crap 

then i got lockjaw 
and was dribbling at the mouth 
unable to speak 

290418 / 300418 

it fits like a glove 
just to feel connected 
to warm my darkest hours 

bitter, hand-wringing remorse 
this morbid pathology 

talking to damaged people 
this morphine like bliss 

290418 

you need to get that rock star out 
before it kills you 

280418

the walking wounded 

i don't feel at home anywhere 
and my stomach is nervous 
jittery and unstable 

the machines are broken down 
and so am i 

there are no more machines 

shock and paralysis 

250418 / 270418 

it blew my fuse 

so ... what have you been doing ? ! 
my mind has gone walkies
i just couldn't think of anything to say 

the thread of trust is easily broken 
n this is my pathology 

230418 

I'm just like a dead body myself 
a hollow empty space 

this life is torture

220418 

I've let my mother down 
and now I've let my brother down too 

n when i was a child 
i had a dream about a monster 
who took them away in a boat 
the boat departed from the cellar 

n i still don't understand 
surely it was my fault 

he found her dead in her bedroom 
n i wasnt there 

triggering 
his nightmare becomes mine 
and his day mare 

I've let everyone down 
n now i need help 

song : like a horror film

210418

adrenalin and fear 
the f word n c 
n he really brings out 
the worst in me 

n I'm here with someone 
who has lost his brain
well i don't matter 
to them anyway 

watch her make a fuss 

feeling sorry for herself 

he'll get a reaction 
from her somehow 

really like a horror film 
suffering like that 
his tear stained face 
begging me to stay 

I'm angry in my bones
n i can tell my head 
but my heart and soul 
they don't understand 

can't break free of him 
though he hurts me so 
n what if he might die 
im stuck down in this hole 

he'll get a reaction 

from her somehow 

watch her make a fuss 

feeling sorry for herself 

190418 

i get jealous and suspicious 
and possessive 

150418 / 160418

im a masochist 

and now i am repulsive 
you have to dig up the root 
i feel it all the way through 

things are not lovely any more 
n this is what i deserve 

i can't go to work 
after all that 

he used the f word
n the c word 

n i feel so bad 

140318

n i can't break free of him 
though he hurts me so 

110418 

he looks really shrunken 
like he might be gonna die 

080418 / 100418 

my angry bones 

a flesh meeting 

i can tell my head 
but my heart and soul don't get it 

he found her dead 

080418 

so i smashed a cup 
and threw him down the stairs 

050418 / 060418 

watching him suffer 
i claw my way out of this hole 

i stagger backwards
reeling from the impact of his words 

his tear stained face 
please come back in 
please I'm begging you 

050418

roughed up  i will get a reaction out of her , see ... 

he's got me all churned up , all disturbed
what do i do with his volatile anger ? 

he scores 
she is humiliated 

i will get a reaction out of her , see 

n look at her making a fuss 
she's very impressionable 
its like being in a horror film 

020418 / 040418 

the adrenalin, the fear, the love 
all really bad for me 
n he brings out the worst in me 

i was in the presence 
of something that had no brain 

it doesnt matter 
what happens to her 
she is good for nothing anyway 
let him shout at her 

the vulnerable person 
is being used as a dogsbody 

oh look 
she's feeling sorry for herself ... 

ill change when I'm ready 

song : a trick of the light

feel like I've been dropped off
on the moon 
n i dont wanna go to work 

then it was snowing 
and the world stopped for us
just you and me

and the silent flakes
everyone disappeared

violently angry 
and the risk of serious injury 
so i became a zombie 
cos somehow he couldn't stop himself 

someday things will change 
we'll see the cracks 
in the ceiling 
where the light comes streaming in 

trick of the light 
like a typical adult child 

please don't ever tell me 
things happen in 3's 

threw away my credit card 
but he doesnt care how i feel 

someday things will change 

we'll see the cracks 

in the ceiling 

where the light comes streaming in