savage , alienated 
a token fetish 

its subtle 

280918 

i sat through two hours of it 
this guy telling us 
to focus on our genitals 

i tried to protest 
but he just thought 
i was enjoying it 
sitting next to a schizophrenic 
who took a shining to me 

i thought it was my fault 

280918 

he kicks hard against the boundary 
we are the backbone of the system 

its like I'm some sort of stray animal  
not used to talking to humans ... 

270918 

target face 

the torture 
of watching him slip away 

i forgot my meds 
theres alot of pressure inside 

where is my voice ?  

270918

the healing power of the moon 

he terrorises me 

i feel so bad
i wasnt there for him 
when she died 

he was in the same room 

260918 

a blind frenzy of pain 
he's killing himself 
just like mummy did 

n im lashing out 

why am i a beggar ? 
this is an enigma

he pushes me under
under the glass floor 
its quite subtle 

rotting flesh 
creeping up the walls 

im a radicalised savage 

my obsession is quite pathological 
i feel angry 
angry with the whole world 

how could i be so stupid ? 

250918 

my organism blew me away 
literally 
i am no more 

200918 / 240918

shit shovelling 
female sweat 

i don't believe new age thinking 
is all mumbo jumbo 

what about advanced communication skills ? 

190918 

organ failure 

maybe its type 2

this is a bitch 
and now I've stressed out my liver 

170918 / 180918 

if we were in a commitment 
we could have gone to couple counselling 
but he never wanted that 

Fritz rules the world 
and yet i don't seem to fancy him any more 
but worry what will happen to the world 
when he moves on 
what with Sky after my hide ... 

1409018 

the people please becomes much worse around sex
becomes totally all engulfing
so that I'm just a lowly worm
with all loss of wisdom and stuff
I'm destined to live out my days a monk 

140918 

Fritz has no chii
is not current or relevant 

n i get this really bad energy ... 

130918 

n I'm completely insane 
i get in the shower 
n after an hour
my skin is black n blue 
so i scrub it a bit more 
gotta wash off this rage 
before it catches me out 

slight exaggeration 
but it nearly killed me 
i get guidance from the stars 
not from looking up your arse 

i got pills coming out my ears
n I'm down on my knees
begging please 
please save me from myself 

jumping out of the window 
was wicked fun 
it was all passion back then 
but now I'm well enough to have an ego 

this pain drills into my soul 
my chemical straightjacket 

rap song : Evil Pink Star

yes i did !

complete fabrication
but enjoying the fantasy

so that was it
a few hours and its over

nothing

trying to escape this sticky goo
sucking me back in
like quicksand

n I've fabricated the whole thing
too much internet

how awful it is being in love
maybe I'm just having a psychotic episode
certainly feels manic
i miss being manic

Fritz has no chii

oh look she's fallen for it
she thinks its him
what an idiot !

completely enmeshed, crushed
relationships can be boring sometimes
and what about you ?
i know nothing about you ...

smarmy
i can't do it
i am incapable of being myself
around a lover
hopeless cause ...

n now there is the evil pink star
on the horizon

actually yes I'm really committed
to our lack of commitment

anyway i have some bad news
i weigh 15 stone 2
persistent aggressive threatening menacing
like fingernails down a blackboard

instead of a honeymoon
i need to be always vigilant
lest i become a clone of the other person

withdrawal symptoms, cold turkey
clucking for sugar
n this triggers my paranoia
n then i get into arguments
no sugar, no sparkle
all beaten black and blue inside
i get really depressed

like I've got no back bone
investing all my feelings
in a non existent relationship
n im not being myself
this contagious poison
a pit in my stomach














080918 / 100918

yes i did !
complete fabrication
but enjoying the fantasy

so that was it
a few hours and its over
nothing

070918 

trying to escape this sticky goo
sucking me back in
like quicksand 

n I've fabricated the whole thing 
too much internet 

060918 

how awful it is being in love 

maybe I'm just having a psychotic episode 
certainly feels manic 
i miss being manic 

Fritz has no chii 

oh look she's fallen for it 
she thinks its him 
what an idiot ! 

completely enmeshed, crushed 

relationships can be boring sometimes 

and what about you ? 
i know nothing about you ... 

050918 

smarmy 

i can't do it 
i am incapable of being myself 
around a lover 
hopeless cause ... 

n now there is the evil pink star 
on the horizon 

actually yes I'm really committed 
to our lack of commitment 

anyway i have some bad news 
i weigh 15 stone 2 

persistent aggressive threatening menacing 
like fingernails down a blackboard

040918 

instead of a honeymoon 
i need to be always vigilant 
lest i become a clone of the other person 

030918 / 040918 

withdrawal symptoms, cold turkey 
clucking for sugar 

n this triggers my paranoia  
n then i get into arguments 

no sugar, no sparkle 
all beaten black and blue inside 

i get really depressed 

010918 / 020918 

like I've got no back bone 

investing all my feelings 
in a non existent relationship    
n im not being myself  

this contagious poison 
a pit in my stomach