301118 

i had a wank outside the police station 
and one at Buckingham Palace 

so then i went to the sex addicts meeting 
and fancied someone there 

281118 / 291118 

i just imagined it all 
i sobbed in the ambulance 
over nothing ? 

being creative with the truth 
a point of law 

perfectly acceptable 
normal thing to do 

so why am i 
a bit of a slag ? 

261118

florid sexualised symptoms they said 

and there i was 
kissing strangers on Westminster bridge
one of them led me to a park  
i was lucky  
i just cracked up laughing   

221118 

tje police said if i did it again 
i would be nicked 

i was a whistleblower 

211118 

i exposed myself in the city at night 

i masturbated on the bus  
i took a small bird
put it in a pepper pot 
and made it fly out of my vagina  

after that i was detained 
under the mental health act 

211118 

i want to be one of those chimps 

where is the sanctuary for humans 

with people lovingly washing my face 

im an endangered species 

without a smart phone 

i slowly open a bottle 

like an orangutan 

finding it all very interesting 

the glory of total freedom 

roaming around the streets screaming 

i could do whatever i wanted 

i had no fear 

she took a running leap 

held in the love of strangers 

screaming in agony 

archives

Friday, 26 August 2016

hospital camp , new book ,

the searing pain in my hip
when they try to roll me over


260816 10.05 am

the door is slammed shut ...
Im in a high security unit
surrounded by people who have just tried to kill themselves.
They are very angry .

My bags and pockets are searched
for medications, and implements, and even plastic bags
which are not allowed on the wards ...

i watch people make further attempts in there
one lady tried to strangle herself with a tourniquet

The heating doesnt work
it comes on in Summer and goes off in winter
and my bedroom smells of ammonia ...

091213

mustard soya milk blackcurrant milk shake dog rose tea

irish pizza n suddenly she was a football pitch with people running about on her

pillowcase

from late 2013

i like the way those feelings flow, his hands inside my soul pulling at the branches shaking the leaves that massage the feelings like a ripe fruit sharing the juice ... a cocktail where we finally found our differences ...


071213 830pm

my tongue hanging out feel vey sick ... n plunge into the ventilator the emergency team arrive n you feel the love of strong hands rolling you over onto the stretcher a blanket of bliss screaming in agony

two songs were playing in my head ... concussion strapped in tight the vehicle rattling away into the night like that gypsy move at 5 years old a tunnel to nowhere my legs tightly strapped together kissing my hand

liverpuddlian pudding liver puddinlian pud a milky thing in Liver pool like fish n chips
hospital camp the culmination of all that went on in the 60s

ambulance AnE amnesia , can i have a hug please they don't usually get asked that i could only remember two songs 

rap song : gaslighting

171118

gaslighting
i could smell dog poo in here all day
like they've gone away
and left a used litter tray

im a terrible poissen

don't tell the groom
i was at my wedding to Dev
when Scaresy turned up in a tutu
bearing a plate of poo

most romantic thing i ever saw
my heart had never been so broken

pizza they called it

Fritz was too offing easy

how bout one of my exes
gives me away

my first love

drugs were nothing
compared to the adrenalin
and the violence

so i wandered about
in a graveyard
looking for rats in the rain
and played on the bus

halloween and bonfire night
bring up alot of dark forces

bitcoin was the last straw
that broke the camel's back

she took a running leap

there was horse meat
n there was venison
not to mention the beef

he said the paint
was peeling off the walls

100% horse meat they said
the pastie tax
and thats what Levison
was really all about

when you're a woman on your own
they're tapping into a dead girl's phone

171118

gaslighting
i could smell dog poo in here all day
like they've gone away
and left a used litter tray

151118 / 161118 

im a terrible poissen 

don't tell the groom 
i was at my wedding to Dev 
when Scaresy turned up in a tutu 
bearing a plate of poo 

most romantic thing i ever saw 
my heart had never been so broken 

pizza they called it 

Fritz was too fuckin easy 

how bout one of my exes
gives me away 

081118 

my first love 

drugs were nothing 
compared to the adrenalin 
and the violence  

051118 / 061118 

so i wandered about  
in a graveyard 
looking for rats in the rain 
and played on the bus

halloween and bonfire night 
bring up alot of dark forces 

bitcoin was the last straw 
that broke the camel's back 

she took a running leap 

there was horse meat 
n there was venison 
not to mention the beef 

he said the paint 
was peeling off the walls 

100% horse meat they said 
the pastie tax 
and thats what Levison 
was really all about 

they're tapping into a dead girl's phone 
when you're a woman on your own 

rap song : day of the dead

he found her dead on the floor 
n his heart is nuked 

n its all my fault 
a little dictator 
like a badly trained dog 

want to squeeze mummy 
and cuddle her back to life 
is there no end to the evil 
this little baby girl has perpetrated ?

selfish 
bad little baby girl 

inappropriate 
for her to enjoy life 
without her  
she must embody the tragedy 

oh no 
she has broken her mummy 

trying to grasp at thin air  
where she left 
my frustration knows no bounds 

the sweetest gentlest little deer of a Mummy
you could wish for 

want to hold her close 
and feel her heart 

theres blood on my hands and feet 
at the risk of making myself 
very unpopular 
i dont understand business
i just lie and i cheat  
with my dodgy hooded eyes

are we sweet enough ? 
n i believe in euthanasia  

i dabbled in the occult 
n we're no little angels 
the paint has a life of its own 

n every day I'm crackin up 
in this day of the dead 

041118 / 051118 

my hands and feet are bleeding 

the weather is telling me 
to pipe down 

at the risk of making myself 
very unpopular 

i dont understand business
i just lie and i cheat  

are we sweet enough ? 
n i believe in euthanasia