010619

the fib 
have cut me off from my Yahoo overeaters group 
because of my comments about Nazanin 

310519 

feeling my feelings 
no need to rush n hurry 

300519

i think you need  your feelings 
in order to function 
otherwise how would you know 
what you wanted ? 

290519 

i think i may have been ghost banned on Twitter 

280519

doing time ? 
so have the fib poisoned me 

270519

looks like I'm a third wheel again !

but it was mean of him 
to ban me from the poetry forum 

partner control 

where passion means water boarding him 

in order to get a job

260519

n yeah 
my pillow talk 
leaves something to be desired 

260519 

thinking about one person 
while doing it with another 

like working upstream 
in a stormy sea 

i need to feel whole 

230519 

Antar Yoga 
some forms of sex 
are too much for the chakras 
leading to organ failure 

250519 

i think i might be coming down with a fever 
n can't do my fantasy 

as if its some sort of obligation
how ridiculous ! 
sex is very troublesome 

word jam : just a pawn

so now she's a pawn 
in the arms and prisoner deals 
and election too ! 

it would be nice 
not to feel like a beggar 
and a scrounger 

n somebody has to 
stop thinking about money 
n create some love 
pumping out heart energy 

out fighting in the road 
wearing rainbow toe socks 
a truck of builders 
laughing at us 

the troubles within 
the internal struggle  
n desolate weeping 

i spent ten years
being called an English bastard 

here we call it SM
as the case may be 

ill be thinking bout 
the person I'm not with 
polyamory 
the only way to save a heart 

trippy 

ensuring that excessive force is not used 

what would you do 
with a drunken sailor ? 

I never seem to get any work done 
on a Saturday night 

n Dev is a bit like a bonobo 
n it was wrong of me to blame him 

lycanthropy 
hugging me 
even as i vanish 

19.30 pm , 250519 

the fib are stopping my video from processing 
on youtube 

240519 

another time 

we were doing yoga rituals 

at Leicester Square 

attracting a laughing crowd 

a publican drove us away from his pub 

we were out fighting in the road 
wearing rainbow toe socks 
a truck of builders 
laughing at us 

230519 

lycanthropy 
hugging me 
even as i vanish 

230519 

Antar Yoga 
some forms of sex 
are too much for the chakras 
leading to organ failure 

220519 

the troubles within 
the internal struggle  
n desolate weeping 

i spent ten years
being called an English bastard 

here we call it BDSM
or SM as the case may be 

200519 

ill be thinking bout 
the person I'm not with 
polyamoury 
the only way to save a heart 

190519 

trippy 

ensuring that excessive force is not used 

what would you do 
with a drunken sailor ? 

I never seem to get any work done 
on a Saturday night 

n Dev is a bit like a bonobo 
n it was wrong of me to blame him   

word jam : married to the muse

like as if they'll let her go for free 

i seem to have made a huge mess
when will we have a screen rebellion ? 
Greenland is on fire
n we're breathing out all this heat 

these ugly thoughts 
look so insane 

n all this stuff 
like sticky goo

another nail in the coffin 
dragging her in there 
playing with her dolls 
wriggle out of it 

married to the muse 

it matters as much
as a little puff of cookies
on the helm's voyage
long as the organ's creepy

i don't know what I'm doing 
or where I'm going 

im addicted to it 
and as such lacking in moral fibre 

lacking in loyalty 

and that's not what i was apologising for !

Mozart will never sound like that again  

he was very very real 
in ways i couldn't entirely fathom 

n a part of me is still there 

this is like chimpanzees 
foraging in the wild 

so whats more important 
the place where you jumped off 
or the place where you landed 

doing the dirty work  
I'm of bad character 
i guess i have split personalities going on 

reptilians ? 
Dev wouldn't say that 

n it was all pain 

archives from 2006

married to the muse

the paper fell open
in a zig zag shape
the pack split
redressed fantasy
whatever way
don't mind if you funk it
it matters as much
as a little puff of cookies
on the helm's voyage
long as the organ's creepy
hope nobody sees
when you share your stuff
too close to the thruster
hoppers in flottage
thyratons stressing
pulse width unmodulated
on the coccyx rebounds
how many pairs of eyes
grasped the voltage ?

10.06.06.

180519 

i stand for nothing 

160519 / 170519 

reptilians ? 
Dev would not say that 
n Scarey knows who that is 

i don't know what I'm doing 
or where I'm going 

im a sex addict
and as such 
lacking in moral fibre 

lacking in loyalty 

and that's not what i was apologising for !

140519 

Mozart will never sound like that again 

he was an AMAZING person
he'd be right there 
with the flower 
in the present moment 

he was very very real 
in ways i couldn't entirely fathom 

n a part of me is still there 

110519 / 120519 

so whats more important 
the place where you jumped off 
or the place where you landed 

doing the dirty work  I'm of bad character 
i guess i have split personalities going on 

100519 / 120519 

n yeah, like comparing a pizza
to a nut roast en croute 

n here comes a steam train

this is like chimpanzees 
foraging in the wild 

word jam : prisoner swap

to be honest 
i don't really know where i landed
it wasnt anything consistent

a prisoner swap 
is what they are proposing 
Negar Ghotskani 

she is going to die 
the pain is unbearable 
this is white torture 

in solitary 

why can't i find a picture of her

pay the effing debt 
you stubborn and ignorant 
bungling buffoons 

smoke signal is going up 
n the sound Om 

n every night 
i get shot and attacked by dogs 

I'm single, female and disabled 
i should just put up and shut up 

and old it seems 

is it normal to have these faults
or am i just making excuses for him ? 

i have no dignity 
I'm just a kidney 

so what am i some sort of curiosity then 
to be laughed at 
like some person in a Victorian asylum 

not the sort of guy 
that would normally produce flashing lights 

n I'm that sort of girl 


n then Starsey was born 
lets call this one Oblivion 

k so where did she jump from 
n what was the last place she went to 
before she landed 

070519 

is it normal to have these faults
or am i just making excuses for him ? 

so what am i some sort of curiosity then 
to be laughed at 
like some person in a Victorian asylum 

050519 

not the sort of guy 
that would normally produce flashing lights 

040519 

that sort of girl 

k so where did she jump from 
n what was the last place she went to 
before she landed 

to be honest 
i don't really know where i landed
it wasnt anything congruent 

030519 

n Fox and I 
used to meditate and chant 
while we were doing it 

he said it was the only way to win 

word jam : barking n gunshot

it hurts to hear barking n gunshot 

she doesnt know him like i do 

so if i watched porn 

would that be cheating on my partner 

or would it make me 

less clingy to him 

or if i think about it 

in my head 

i did that with two friends 

n there was sharing going on 

is he the wine that pours from

your lute ? is he the music

that comes from a place

where music is 

redundant? 

that 

makes a sound 

only Gods and devils 

can hear? is he the beginning 

and the end of the circle 

where time stands still

that you can feel under your skin 

a hundred miles away ... does 

he make your soul blossom 

like a orchid in a 

hothouse 

your stilettoes

compliment the muscle 

under the gauze 

As throngs of excited guitar

beat applause 

his hair looks subtle

under the chiffon

how about his mate

kept in suspense

thick fingers 

study the elastic

we paint his lips with khol 

and fruited lipsalve 

trace contours of his chest

what is so funny 

he can hardly stand up. 

as he grapples me for the handle 

you think the weirdest things 

n this is a wild card 

a throw of the dice 

n it wasnt where i landed 

010519 

am i betraying my partner 
if i watch pornography 
or think about it in my head 

Trixy archives from 2012

Friday, 20 July 2012


is he your
mate? does he
make your strings hum
with the taste of summer bees?


is he the wine that pours from
your lute ? is he the music
that comes from a place
where music is
redundant?


that
makes a sound
only Gods and devils
can hear? is he the beginning
and the end of the circle where time
stands still who's voice is absolute law ?


that brings up the joy in you like a
dormant plot awaiting the
gardeners touch


where
you play together
like a same species ... where
another might be just an understudy ...


that you can feel under your skin
a hundred miles away ... does
he make your soul blossom
like a orchid in a
hothouse


vibrating like a
hummingbird greeting
you at the dawn like a ripe
honeydew who's words bubble
up in you all night that you cannot
sleep and have lost control of the wheel ...




11.07am 19.07.12.