300919

lost in Lala land 
its possible to deceive 
without actually lying 

280919

no sensation at all ? 
I've gotta be like on the telly 
with wild abandon, n i can't tell him 
that he's rushing me   

cus its possible to fake it 
without realising  

he drove his bike over a cliff 
because of the passion inside him 
on a high 

word jam : the death of a troll

do not resuscitate 

if its excitement and adrenaline 
you are after , 
it might disappear 
once you commit 

n i need to make 
my daily mistake 

a legal battle 
with someone you loved 
with whom you shared 
the utmost innocence 

as they kick the boundaries 
with a battering ram 

im in love with a celebrity 
and of course being schizophrenic 
i think he loves me back 

n we've had some spectacular times  
n made cyber children
that i have pictures of 

or maybe i feel sorry for him 

i think I've hurt his feelings 
n he called me a troll 
and asked me 
why he was sent to coventry 

some of them think I'm their voices 
nerds are cool 
about their un-coolness 

I've had seven boyfriends 
n it was too many 
because i still have feelings 
for all of them 

the moon tonight 
has a blue tinge

usually the feelings are there deep down 

i remember feeling this joy 
that had no place in this world 

i wanted to fly away 
into the sunset 

200919 / 210919 

im in love with a celebrity 
and of course being schizophrenic 
i think he loves me back 

n we've had some spectacular times  

or maybe i feel sorry for him 

i think I've hurt his feelings 
n he called me a troll 
and asked me 
why he was sent to coventry 

some of them think I'm their voices 
nerds are cool 
about their un-coolness 

150919 

I've had seven boyfriends 
n it was too many 
because i still have feelings 
for all of them 

the moon tonight 
has a blue edge 

word jam : masochistic

he lives in a happy world 
n she's nothing like me 
and I'm laughing and joining in 
joining in 
n they dont know me 
they dont know what its like 
to step off the beaten track

the pressure inside
feeling like a time bomb
about to explode

I cant escape
from the pain inside me
that pushes at the walls

withholding affection ? 

' the doolally ' 
are people who cant afford 
a top quality therapist ! 

sometimes the words come too late

whats happened to his nose ?

a trigger button 
could get triggered by anything 

people don't always realise 
when their self harming 
has gone too far 

I'm usually a loser 
i tend to come last 

he copes with all the horror 
sat with me while i cried 
while i tried 
and respects the vulnerable  

birds of a feather 
fighting the hexes 
two timing people online 

what if you dont fancy them 
and they are not reading the signals 
and not being inclusive 

is it possible to flirt with someone you dont fancy 
and is that leading them on ?

i suppose if someone has a masochistic streak  
they might want to be rejected 
and enjoy the pain 

140919 

a trigger button 
could get triggered by anything 

people don't always realise 
when their self harming 
has gone too far 

100910

I'm usually a loser 
i tend to come last 

he copes with all the horror 
sat with me while i cried 
while i tried 
and respects the vulnerable 

100919 

birds of a feather 

hexes 
two timing people online 

090919

what if you dont fancy them
and they are not reading the signals
then they think you are discriminating against them
and not being inclusive

is it possible to flirt with someone you dont fancy
and is that leading them on ?

i suppose if someone has a masochistic streak  

might enjoy the pain of being rejected 

word jam : away with the fairies

unconditional 

psychodrama, conflict management  
and psychotic thoughts 
over-reacting and hallucinating       

triggered     

lots of fairy dust 
because inside her is a real fairy  

i wasnt very good at shop lifting 
i would start laughing   

one time during an episode   
i travelled all the way to 10 Downing Street 
so i could pee outside   

after all they were watching me 
on surveillance cameras   

n i do a great job 
of acting like a normal person 

fight flight freeze       

having to grovel for love 
to prostitute my emotions   
to accept verbal abuse 

split , spinning 

its not how i ought to feel 

why do lonely people 
like to shower alot ? 

i thought it was just some fun banter
now i feel intimidated  
its the law of the jungle   

so i reported him  

long articles and tedious videos 
i can't be reading all that ! 

stop the self employed 
from moaning about being self employed 

I've taken a screen shot of that, he says 
its the nastiest comment I've ever seen 
about the self employed 

they have moderated 
my strong man rhetoric 

is it politically correct 

different branches of beat these days 
that have deviated from hip hop
moving on from the violence 
i made up my own genre   

that is not cultural appropriation 

060919 

politically correct 

why do lonely people 
like to shower alot ? 

060919

door slam 

different branches of rap these days 
that have deviated from rap n drill
and the violence in there 
i made up my own genre   

that is not cultural appropriation 

060919 

i thought it was just some fun banter
now i feel intimidated 
i have reported him 
its the law of the jungle   

060919 

long articles and tedious videos 
i can't be reading all that ! 

stop the self employed 
from moaning about being self employed 

I've taken a screen shot of that, 
its the nastiest comment I've ever seen 
about the self employed 

my strong man rhetoric has been moderated