all backed up onto a hard drive 

somebody wants to remove lyrics from here 
and make them her own 

290420 

always the wrong person 
the wrong person 

he breaks my heart every day 
wanting someone else 

we can touch each other spiritually 

290420 

formless, structureless 

280320

I feel bitter and bereft, 

like I am deflated !
what was once a blooming flower in me 

is now crushed underfoot

these are the struggles 

may they become the art of tragedy 

word jam : trippy afterglow

im a gullible idiot  
in real life, gormless without a search engine  

and i don't put you down
how do these people know everything ? 

people treat me like I'm stupid  

i loved you  
I've been tortured so much 
and its still buried inside 
somewhere they can't touch 

let me get closer to you he said 
see what lies within 

take off the mask 

if you really knew me 
you wouldn't want me 

I'm just an empty shell, a nobody 

wandering aimlessly the world 
the pressure of society bearing down on me 

supernova

sometimes the afterglow
is better than the ending 

floating around together in space 

n still repercussions in my stomach 
the next day 

trippy like the whole sun 

the parachute has gone up    
its a peak experience, 
I've been here before , been in love before  

and each time its more 

feel like I'm airborne 

the colours and lights run up your spine 
sometimes causing pain 

as your whole body reacts 

there isn't a woman 
more kind and loving than he is

270420 

trippy like the whole sun 

the pressure of society bearing down on me 

260420 

trippy 

the parachute has gone up    
its a peak experience, 
I've been here before , been in love before  

and each time its more 

260420 

feel like I'm airborne 

n still repercussions in my stomach 
the next day 

the parachute has gone up 

260420 

im a gullible idiot  
in real life, gormless without a search engine  

and i don't put you down
how do these people know everything ? 

people treat me like I'm stupid  

i loved you  
I've been tortured so much 
and its still buried inside 
somewhere they can't touch 


let me get closer to you he said 
see what lies within 

take off the mask 

250420 

if you really knew me 
you wouldn't want me 

I'm just an empty shell, a nobody 

wandering aimlessly the world 

supernova

sometimes the afterglow
is better than the ending 

230420 

the colours and lights run up your spine 
sometimes causing pain 

as your whole body reacts 

there isn't a woman 
more kind and loving than he 

170420 / 190420 

theres a trade war going on 

they tell me he doesnt care 

swelling like a burst water balloon
bang ! 

making music 

releasing all the colours 
what music would go with that 

170420 

they tell me he doesnt care 

170420

belittling is recognisable as a crime these days I think
in the context of a marriage
is called ' partner control '

I cut my own hair ! I resolved nobody is ever doing the fringe
cus they always cut it too short which makes me look like a school girl !

in a sense the lockdown may never end
because it needs to be eased gradually
and also because it has had so many knock on effects
that the government desired to happen

like people co-operating, nobody is glued to the pavement,
people who didnt want to bank online
are now banking online and using cards in shops ...

the list goes on ...

170420 


communication without touch 
let nature take its course , catiquette 

I've actually befriended both of them 

i think love is like warmth 
if you imaging a centre of the sun
glowing with orange pink and purple  

my paintbrushes my crafting my house 
all up in the air

because of love, I'm terrified 

150420 

I'm starting to enjoy the lockdown 
going for walks and pottering about at home 
doing a bit of artwork 

will be difficult to get back to normal ! 

being able to stop and notice things and linger over them
like a flower you never noticed
or a picture you have on the wall
you see something in it you had not seen before

130420 

we havent built up to the level of intimacy
you are assuming

can't never read my sadded eyes ?

like with LSD the one-ness of all creation

we don't want another summer
of people gluing themselves to the pavement

130420 

trying to force intimacy on her terms 

she's even written my script ! 

120420 

i can feel him in my bones 
he is my forbidden love 

120420 

the way we feel about animals 
the way we relate to them 

word jam : the long holiday

money grows out of the ground 
they taught us in school 
the worlds wealth is represented in grain 

i feel fine after my nightmares 

from what ive gathered today
seems confirmed that a law was passed 
deeming that this guy and I are not allowed to meet 
because he has a career in mental health 
and I'm a patient 
although I have never been HIS patient 

and he is currently unemployed

the moon is catching the sun 

i still feel for him 
i won't seem to picture myself 
with anybody else 

I've never really liked a slushy song before 

smoochy  

like an orchid 
opening and opening up some more 
and then an explosion of white fireworks 

i remember the snow 
falling off the leaves
he told me to stop 
and take it all in, it was so magical 

thats wartime spirit 
you're living in the present 
because you don't know 
whats going to happen 

OH I gave up everything 
to be with him
my job my family  

i suffered but it was so romantic 
his fiery passion 
was worth it all 

i cut up my credit cards 

21 with the world at my feet 

nobody is allowed to go anywhere he said 

the days merging into one 
people smiling more , enjoying the long holiday 

straight edge rebels 
mockers n rods

110420 

the moon is catching the sun 

i still feel for him 
i can't seem to picture myself 
with anybody else 

I've never really liked a slushy song before 

smoochy 

100420 

like an orchid 
opening and opening up some more 
and then an explosion of white fireworks 

100420 

nobody is allowed to go anywhere he said 

100420 

i remember the snow 
falling off the leaves
he told me to stop 
and take it in, it was so magical 

thats wartime spirit 
you're living in the present 
because you don't know 
whats going to happen 

090420 

mockers n rods 

o gave up everything 
to be with him
my job my family  

i suffered but it was so romantic 
his fiery passion 
was worth it all 

i cut up my credit cards 

21 with the world at my feet 

060420 

the days merging into one 
people smiling more , enjoying the long holiday 

straight edge rebels 
rockers n mods 

word jam : spirit of the Blitz

there was no pressure in it 
just him expressing himself 

he would say something rude 
that was incredibly funn

afraid of getting hurt 
i smart at any little slight 

' normality ' they keep saying 

one reason it takes so long 
is the sharp pain at the end 

world finance has changed 
in that the billionaires 
are helping to fund the changes going on 

which means that there are alot of unelected people 
in charge of our future 

I'm always looking for a loophole 

I've entertained myself in other ways 
sometimes with an urge to exercise 
late at night  

do my friendships matter to me ? 
or only romantic ones 

tune in to your energy centres 

ok you lot says the earth 
have a little holiday 
and think about what you're doing 
for the planet 

the birdsong in spring 
that sings of hope 
different from the melancholy 
call of winter 

whats happened to the war zones ? 
the knife crime ? 
all cured by the virus ? 

people are smiling and waving 
as thought the human spirit 
cannot be defeated 

its a horrific love 

in those moments 
when i free myself 
from the grip of your passion 

i can fly free
free from the bonds of love 

040420 

afraid of getting hurt 
i smart at any little slight 


' normality ' they keep saying 

020420 

one reason it takes so long 
is the sharp pain at the end