010121
so who holds the power then ?
people like you and me
who are high functioning
who are activating
the harpie Nic and cloud clockwork and bisto are not welcome to read my blog or use me in any way , there are thoughts in your own head huns
word jam : woke people
311220
to feel my feelings
rather than explaining them away
orgasm gasm gasm gasm
i understand certain things ive learned
like ' owning your feelings '
and responding rather than reacting
trying not to finger point
to refrain from ad hominem
to journal and seek therapy rather than taking it out on other people
to recognise when something is about my issues not the other persons
i described myself as progressive
because after 35 years in therapy
i know something about the latest in communication skills
and in business models actually
where play , wellbeing and interactive skills are being used
by the most progressive companies
and number six is far more intellectual than me
im really struggling to keep up with him
apparently those of us who are progressive
that have causes we are passionate about
that are not very right wing
that have other values than our appearance
apparently we are a pain in the backside
and might lead a partner to go downhill career - wise !
like a trauma to mind and body
our orgasms are cathartic
i can leave my fairy lights up
and the sparkly things
that are not too Christmassy
Happy New Year guys !
maybe people think im pious or something
because i dont drink
but i really do have a good time without it !
my favourite author has spoken
like a trauma to mind and body
our orgasms are cathartic
i can leave my fairy lights up
and the sparkly things
that are not too Christmassy
Happy New Year guys !
maybe people think im pious or something
because i dont drink
but i really do have a good time without it !
my favourite author has spoken
of his love / hate relationship with the Catholic Church
I mean who doesn't love the Virgin Mary
and those catholic nurses are great when you are at your illest ...
as you recover you start to challenge things more
and alas we fail to come up to her standards
and the winds of change no pun intended
under Browns labour government
actually scrapped the very good sheltered workshops and jobclubs
in favour of pressure to look after each other
with no training
the winds of change switch this way and that way
with changes in government
our ' mental health community ' in my area was further eroded
a freak ' mindfulness ' session layed on by a minor celebrity
which I can't name
who had us focus on the perineum
for the whole session
and make sexual noises !
and I feel the influence of the current political climate
on my skin , like a sheep sensing a coming storm !
its terrible how hard you have to fight for your recovery !
and I feel the influence of the current political climate
on my skin , like a sheep sensing a coming storm !
its terrible how hard you have to fight for your recovery !
because we are some kind of alien super race !
n yeah those nuns be hiding a thing or two
then again i am wearing a long dark dress myself ...
sometimes the dawn chorus starts early
when there is low cloud
with the urban sky glow
dizzy giddy light-headed faint
weak at the knees unsteady shaky wobbly off-balance
reeling staggering tottering. teetering woozy with legs like jelly
with rubbery legs vertiginous
dazed confused muddled befuddled bewildered
disorientated stupefied groggy muzzy dopey woolly not with it
but be sure to get some oestrogen
lest you drain other people
yous are making it hard to let go of number six
when yous keep trying to assault him !
and every day could be Christmas
apologies to guy number six
ive been hypocritical and reactive
guy number six and i
are both quite volatile
at the moment
our nerves are frayed
our nerves are frayed
from all the control
the other things
the other things
are obviously mutual stimulation
all ways to build closeness and confidence
thing is i have found personally
that some performance
all ways to build closeness and confidence
thing is i have found personally
that some performance
and even physcial issues
can be resolved therapeutically
to build desire through
can be resolved therapeutically
to build desire through
other kinds of touching
like for example the classic way
' taking sex off the table '
like for example the classic way
' taking sex off the table '
Wednesday, 30 December 2020
311220
i understand certain things ive learned
like ' owning your feelings '
and responding rather than reacting
trying not to finger point
to refrain from ad hominem
to journal and seek therapy rather than taking it out on other people
to recognise when something is about my issues not the other persons
311220
I don't know how I stumbled into this yesterday
I've not thought much about the ' woke ' label
apparently those of us who are progressive
that have causes we are passionate about
that are not very right wing
that have other values than our appearance
apparently we are a pain in the backside
and might lead a partner to go downhill career - wise !
301220
my favourite author Paolo Coelho
has spoken of his love / hate relationship with the Catholic Church
I mean who doesn't love the Virgin Mary
and those catholic nurses are great when you are at your illest ...
as you recover you start to challenge things more
and alas we fail to come up to her standards
and the winds of change no pun intended
under Browns labour government
actually scrapped the very good sheltered workshops and jobclubs
in favour of pressure to look after each other each other
with no training
the winds of change switch this way and that way
with changes in government
switching from a work ethic to a peer support ethic and back
which news will be delivered by someone bossy planted to do this job
neither ethic is correct in my view
should be a recovery ethic
with a view to assessing each persons needs individually
i am good enough just as I am !
our ' mental health community ' in my area
was further eroded
by a freak ' mindfulness ' session
played on by a minor celebrity which I can't name
who had us focus on the perineum for the whole session
( google it )
and make sexual noises !
funny thing is nobody complained or walked out until afterwards
im surprised when I think about it I didn't walk out
about 3 people complained after the session
and a safeguarding issue was raised
then not upheld
although that person didn't return to the centre
I found it had damaged the relationships between the members
Tuesday, 29 December 2020
301220
and I feel the influence of the current political climate
on my skin , like a sheep sensing a coming storm !
there is still a residue from us being looked after by nuns
with some memes coming from the Catholic Church
of course not all of it is bad
its terrible how hard you have to fight for your recovery !
because we are some kind of alien super race !
n yeah those nuns be hiding a thing or two
nobody can live like that
im glad you found supports
most people don't
then again i am wearing a long dark dress myself ...
Monday, 28 December 2020
291220
dizzy
giddy light-headed faint weak
weak at the knees unsteady shaky wobbly off-balance
reeling staggering ottering. teetering woozy with legs like jelly with rubbery legs vertiginous
dazed confused muddled befuddled bewildered disoriented
disorientated stupefied groggy muzzy dopey woolly not with it
Sunday, 27 December 2020
Monday, 14 May 2018
song : my cloak of insults
updated 020618
G F
maybe it was all my fault
C G
slammed up in a mental home
G F C G
i did lie i made it all up
C G
n this is my guilt and shame
C G
really really painful too
G F
now someone has read my draft
C G
cus I'm always being watched
C G
sugar caffeine by the ton
C G
like a hyperactive kid
G F
f u fat old les
C G
n im not even gay
G F
effing get out of my way
C G
n i take it personally
C G
i need someone to back me up
C G
mummy makes me do her stuff
G F
theres a switch inside my brain
C G
now my hairs been all messed up
G F
im stupid and ridiculous
C G
n i deserve to be abused
C G
hold you down and pull your clothes
C G
inject you with some utter crap
G F
i was dribbling at the mouth
C G
couldn't breathe and couldn't speak
271220
i didnt know it was assumed
that if a man has erectile dysfuntion
that he will automatically use viagra ...
so all the sex therapists out there
may as well hang up their clogs !
just pop a pill and bish bash bosh !
women feel disconnected sometimes
' performance ' being of the male
while she spectates ?
be nice if someone be there for me
while i freak out
Saturday, 26 December 2020
271220
k well I'm sure you're a kind considerate man Zack
and you would discuss something like that with your lady
maybe I've not fully explained properly
but it wasn't discussed
it was something like ok I'm going to do this now
you know as if I wasn't there
ok its not really about the viagra is it
its about the lack of communication
aside from that some the best experiences I've had
involved ' other dimensions ' and spiritual ' nirvana ' like experiences
and there is no guarantee that will happen
if one person is using a drug
women have had other issues with it
putting their rhythms out of sync
Friday, 25 December 2020
Thursday, 24 December 2020
251220
he arrested me at an anti vaxxer protest
and we had a dry hump
i told his ex to eat some proper food
instead of bitching me all the time
n then he stoood there and displayed it
while i watched with kitten eyes
n i tried to act cool about it
im bursting with happiness
n i could almost apply myself
to reading an article about politics
n im making love to the person
even if i have stomach cramps
there is no risk of that
n theres a point of light
drawing a constellation
the brightest star
241220
I remember my grandfather said to me that life is too good
to be wasted on the young
and that sent me off on all kind of adventures which wasn't his intention !
we went hitchhiking across Europe , muddy music festivals ,
trekking with tents, paragliding, dancing in the streets, busking
we had no need for a computer or a smartphone
and much of what we experienced was free
which was just as well as I was very very poor
and some of the experiences in your article
would have been too expensive for me
but Im glad to hear that younger generations
are able to have some dynamic experiences
because I do worry about how much time they spend online
and yes its a covid point that what are we allowed to experience these days
larging it ... setting off into town on a Saturday
to see where the road takes you
Wednesday, 23 December 2020
231220
k here goes again then
Christmas is a time when spurious agendas can be carried out
becuase other people are busy with Christmas
who might otherwise have acted as a watchdog
number sixes high status ex partner and baby mother
is pushing hard for him to be kidnapped, tortured
and forced to make another baby with her
231220
thank you guys
n yeah I don't think I could be part of an organised sex strike
because I wouldn't like to think of it as a bartering chip
there are other reasons people sometimes withhold sex
and in my experience I've known men to withhold sex
for up to two years
while being in an exclusive relationship
and to be honest it was me putting the pressure on !
why ? because they weren't sure if they trusted me
they valued their spirit and their bodies
they were shy they were interested in other things
it wasn't any kind of ultimatum
so Im surprised to hear from the examples shown
how popular and widely used
are women' sex strikes
Tuesday, 22 December 2020
231220
so you hear of this here and there
a sex strike in America
or someone postulates that if every woman went gay
we could hold men to ransom
and make them become more sensitive to our needs
not that I'm excited by the idea of becoming gay
or have consciously gone on a sex strike
but I'm not widely available these days
and often contemplate my future alone
possibly with a cat
at which point I will probably cease to have interest in people !
but I must add that its not only women who go on sex strikes ...
ive known guys to withold sex for up to two years
Sunday, 20 December 2020
Saturday, 19 December 2020
201220
or you could be on the protest because say
not necessarily you disagree with lockdowns per se
but because of the way its being handled
seems to be taking too long
and has eaten too far into our human rights
and freedom of speech
so while i might comply with the restrictions
i expect the right to talk about the restrictions
and to disagree with them
even while i comply
201220
the action is going on over there
I don't know if we are going to be masked forever
after the spring time I might go to one
I don't think I would fight the police
because its a lot worse if you get done
for assaulting a police officer
like when I was forcibly medicated
I resisted a bit I screamed the place down and shouted for help
but then I let them have their way after a bit
because I didn't want to go down as a thug you know
so I might get arrested but they can't really prove I wasn't just walking there
or I might make myself a big label
saying I am mentally and physically disabled
I wonder what happens after they've arrested you
on one of these marches
they appear to be twisting peoples wrists
so do they want you to start saying
that you support the restrictions ?
because the people they are arresting
are people they have asked
' are you here because of the covid restrictions ? '
course you could always say no I suppose
if you didn't have a banner
word jam : standing up to a police officer
gangster ? not sure whether to take that as a compliment
number 3 is master of the past
number 4 is master of the future
and therefore …
feel like joining those protests if only for the drama value !
and in the name of free speech
its exciting to stand up to a police officer !
i suppose we're tearing each other apart
because we're not allowed to meet
of course ive let my family help me who wouldnt
bottom line is i claim disablitiy assistance
and i spend it on my recovery
n guy no 6 keeps finding new ways to degrade me
and he just gets nobbled by the ladies
and starts judging me
but there is something quirky about him
n theres this whining noise coming from the author
who wants a sexual relationship with me
there was a tiny bit of blood
apologies to guy no 6
i was feeling hurt
like im sitting here on my own in the middle of the night
watching you being threatened with torture
its diffiuclt to stay cool
and one of the principle founding members
tries to groom younger women
and reminds me of a priest
unbelievably
everyone on the forum
wants guy no 6 to be tortured
and forced to mate with his baby mother
to make a nice sibling for the other child
now if that was a woman ...
course women can help in the size department
by doing their kegel exercises
n how do people know what i wrote in pm ?
i just had my zoom meeting
and i found myself slowing down with it so i could feel the feelings !
like normally i will hurry up and get your feelings done
and put them back in the cupboard !
it was quite painful and shameful to go through them slowly
but im feeling now the gift
n afterwards i could hardly walk
orgasms blast a load of toxins out of the body
and can be catastrophic
n this one pulled at my ovaries
brings the classical extremities to life
drenched
i asked him to stay a bit in front
wah wah wah wop wop
n i feel not my years but a 20 year old maiden
hes thrown me on the hay again
n it was a bit of a shock
having my petticoats ruffled up
n it came as a surprise just 12 minutes in
a real stinger
n he dug about to get it all out
while i doubled over
n afterwards i felt all dizzy and sick
if youd like to think of a catapault
and weigh in
k now you can tell me all about world politics
while we try not to do it
n i have to try to concentrate k
lets do the thing where you take it off the table
to create a buildup from just cuddling !
feeling tongue tied and shocked now
i think id like to kiss you and then call time out
because thats where i start getting lost !
yes of course
im not suggesting we chat all the way through the proceedings !
especially the closer we get and the deeper into it
where I've started to go through the motions
there are vessels, like hes part of my body
some volunteers were talking about
a person who was attacked by a martial artist
while out walking
and the crime was not prosecuted
im now being abused by the older ladies on the forum
who have decided who belongs who my partner is
and are attempting to enforce it
Lepers cant be choosers apparently
and must take what they are given sexually !
n i know where her issues lie
n theyre all nobbled by the authrors empire
the latest fruit of which is
that straight people are zombies !
he's pulling at my sinews
i feel like a nymphomaniac
sometimes fate involves a bit of rhetoric
to push it along
hence this oratory