010421

when you give someone a compliment 

a little of it rubs off on you 

 

 

 

310321

eclipse is very lovely to look at though 

now that ive seen her 

 

 

 

 

310321

ive got a fractured leg bone 

because of what ive done to myself in protest 

what more do you want ? 

have you ever taken any direct action eclipse ? 

 

 

 

310321

tipsy 

 

 

 

 

310321

like i said i have to repeat myself now 

becasue of malicious gossip 

i have to be single for 3 months minimum 

because im ON THE REBOUND 

 

 

 

310321

unwilling to take risks ? 

i dont think so ... im not allowed to take risks ! 

unless you want me to glue myself to the pavement ?   

thats really insluting eclipse ... 

 

 

 

 

310321

men seem impatient sometimes

they want to know where they stand, 

to have things done and dusted 

and what happily ever after ? 

yous know that doesnt work ! 

 

 

 

 

310321

ive got to be single for 3 months 

and possibly 3 years 

 

 

 

310321

baby mother is pulling an all nighter 

to try to get the course assessors to re-sit me 

because she is not getting anywhere with number 6 

 

they already told me i passed 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

300321

as i said it will take 3 years

for people to tire of hearing guy number zs weary story 

i could get back at him 

but dont want to stoop to his level 

 

 

 

 

300321

local MP is talking outside my window 

and someone else said ' trick one ' 

 

 

 

300321

looks like it'll be another three years 

before i can have a real life boyfriend 

 

 

 

 

 

280321

when youre on the rebound 

you are supposed to be single for a minumum of 3 months 

which is not enough really 

sometimes it takes 10 years to clear ! 

if you dont leave a gap you risk using the new person 

to help you get over the previous one 

 

 

 

280321

im on the rebound 

with a grief process to go through 

 

 

 

 

 march 2019

181220

260321

i like to occasionally see something move 

 

 

 

250321

Alice disappears through the zoom window 

 

 

 

 

250321

is eating a trend ? 

 

 

 

250321

hes very hard on me 

listen with your heart 

you might understand the birds 

 

 

 

240321

people want what they cant have 

this idea is no longer the preseve of men 

 

 

 

230321

 

im not in a hurry to get anywhere 

 

 

 

230321

 

so today i was considering the possiblity 

of seeing guy number 2 again 

but the cam girl is on the warpath 

and has attacked my vulnerable friend 

i think some time should elapse to allow for the rebound 

and then we could maybe have a coffee in real life 

 

nobody attacks my vulnerable friend 

 

 

 

 

 

220321

i will revisit guy number z 

with my cold dead body 

 

 

 

220321

guy number 6 has been chatting up a vulnerable friend of mine 

so i dont want anything more to do with him 

he has really upset her as well 

 

 

 

210321

footage has been cut short from todays protests in Bristol

I saw protesters dancing about in front of a line of police riot shields
and the police retreating

210321

the woody nutty sounds 

as it yowls from its bones 

like a little bone rattling witch 

 

 

 

210321

that was Nic and her friends 

tricking me into thinking that 

i dont usually fall for it but am a bit fragile at the moment 

ive unignored number 6 now 

 

 

 

200321

 

guy number 6 just slept with Nic 

guy number 2 is going on about women staying at home 

to look after others 

which means only one thing ... the author ... 

that doesnt work because she will monopolise me 

and promote the cam girl  

i dont have children and i dont have to stay at home 

looking after anyone 

nothing doing 

200321

i will befriend the author 

over my cold dead body 

 

 

 

200321

her beautiful caterwauling operas 

with the bellows bagpipes and drones 

 

 

 

200321

Nic is spamming my you tube channel 

 

 

 

 

200321

catholics cross themselves upside down 

 

 

 

200321

guy number 2 pulled strings 

to get me the benefit cut 

baby mother and chucky sent spam actresses 

to harrass me at the supermarket 

and germs were sprayed at me 

 

 

 

 

200321

eclipse brings to bear

the full force of the catholic church 

imposing it on vulnberable people like a missionary 

 

 

 

190321

also going to bed early means
missing the dawn chorus where all the intelligence is shared

130321

i have a time travelling remedy 

 

 

 

 130321

190321

space travel 

 

 

 

190321

eclipse is ' calibrating ' my benefits 

 

 

 

 

 091220

thought id celebrate its re-opening


mental health treatment has come a long way
since my mother committed suicide in Friern Barnet hospital in London in 1982 ,
just before the new mental health act of 1983
where is this going though ?
there seems to have been a shift back recently
towards the ' moral treatments ' of the Victorian era
with the work ethic at the fore

surely we are learning by now
that most mental illnesses carry an element of low self esteem
which needs nurturing and not punishment !
when will we realise this !
school children need to be educated about it
for their own wellbeing and that of their peers
how do you talk to someone who has lost all their confidence ?

kindness, patience, education
when will we see this spread through the adult population
so that we can stop these needless suicides

when will we develop this compassion
inject the resources and build the facilities
to provide proper mental health care and talking therapies
and sheltered workplaces for those good people our citizens
who have fallen by the wayside I ask you people !

190321

youve cut off the possibility of me going on a course or doing voluntary work ,
every time i try to do something like that i get a benefit cut
which destroys my confidence and my health

i have restricted blood flow to my right leg which makes me dizzy

my circumstances havent changed

my sleep is affected i was unable to get the afternoon nap after my course

my anxiety is increased i feel stressed and injured and i can barely walk with sticks

i feel like i cant smile or laugh without you breathing down my neck

youve created a hostile environment for the disabled

 

 

 

190321

whats amazing about Greta Van Fleet
is they don't sound like another ' lets go back to the 80s band '
they sound like they really are an 80s band !

190321

i can see why Chucky would make a good partner 

that can stand up to number 2 

im not as cool as Chuck though 

190321

I am talking to a man like that as well 

who gives me freedom to speak, 

I don't know him very well yet 

but I know the sort of guy you mean

 

and i will write my raunchy thoughts on my blog 

until im dead in my grave ! 

 

 

 

 

 

190321

guy number 2 hurt one of the children 

as a way to get at me 

his jealous partner the cam girl 

has put up a thread about getting me sectioned 

 

 

 

190321

eclipse approved a benefit cut for me 

because she was shocked by my raunchy poetry 

 

 

 

 

180321

ha ha the visitor made a variety of sounds the other day
there was a low droning noise , the bagpipes when his belly was swelling
and then the normal high notes of the yowling ha ha

 

 

 

 

180321

he likes forbidden filth himself 

and since when do we ' make someone happy  '

when all the help i recieved told me otherwise 

180321

hes starting to hurt the children 

or to not protect them 

not sure which it is 

i think maybe to show what will happen 

if hes not protecting them 

i cant bear for the children to be hurt 

 

 

 

 

 

 

180321

k i can see why guy number 2 is supposed to be my partner 

it seems to be some sort of open relationship 

with us cheating on each other most of the time 

he also has a horrible drink problem 

involving mysogynistic verbal abuse 

which i dont find funny 

and im not currently feeling turned on by him 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

180321

like a boa constrictor 

drugged 

 

 

 

 

180321

baby mother ogled me in my bedroom 

opening a locked file 

with eclipse permission 

 

 

 

 

180321

internal strength comes from Antar Yoga

its wierd  

tastes much better if you grow your own

 

 

 

 

170321

frustrated rage 

raging until i explode ! 

gotta give em a runnaround 

 

 

 

170321

you made some art out of the negative 

 

 

 

170321

i mean you gotta wrestle with em 

 

 

 

 

170321

mindblowing intensity 

BAM ! 

slam bam thankou man 

 

 

 

170321

the dirty and the forbidden 

 

forbidden filth 

 

 

 

160321

I'm finding on the peer mentoring course
I badly need to switch off in between study sessions
and in life generally it can be hard to do

but if I can't switch off then I can't switch on

a couple of years ago I read a book by Norman Kember
about his captivity in Iraq
and it impressed me that he was able to switch his brain off
for the long boring hours chained up in a room

and now I found where that switch is I can do it sometimes myself 

160321

i wonder if im a bit ornamental at this point 

there are alot of things i have to do for myself 

to put me in a good state

like eating the right things and using herbal remedies  

i sleep alot and shower alot

which might disappoint some people 

160321

i have had orgasms that were not clitorally stimulated 

both on my own and with a man 

its just quick and easy sometimes to you know ...  

and it helps if im in good form 

 

 

 

150321

baby mother lunar and guy number 2 

are doing some cannibal posts about eating nuts 

apparently baby mother can see me through my web cam 

and calling me a jelly because of it ! 

 

 

140321

eclipse is rigging up forum threads 

to the effect that im responsible for the author 

and will face consequences if i dont give her a lesbian relationship  

she has just referred to us as nuts 

140321

just ringing the changes ha ha ! 

 

 

 

word jam : one crazy chick

 


Chucky sent a spam actor
into the fridge aisle of the supermarket
to make me catch something
and then someone said ' fuck the knuckle '

cannibals

if you learn to love yourself
you might find it a compliment
to be called a crazy chick !

my sexuality is a gift i was given with my disability
that belongs to me 

everything is straightened out  
 
mental health professionals are starting to try to work with peoples voices
like a spiritual episode
and i would say that for the purposes of this forum
that banging on about peoples finances
is really divisive and not helpful
MrThrowingHerselfAtHimNannyPerson

i feel like the girl floating above her bed in the Exorcist
 
does covid stand for covert id ?
 
its like when someone would have a panic in the olden days 


it was recommended that they breathe into a paper bag 


to reduce their breathing 

do you need porn to be able to do yourself ?
 
soul travellers
is hold on to that dreamy feeling

its nice to know youre not obessed with porn
that you feel it cheapens the relationship 

recipe book !  Freaky Salad
salad pesto and ghost roast !
 
paparrazi clutching at straws  
 
ive seen stars of different colours
especially pink ones 
they are playing a show of past centuries

sometimes the weak look after ' the strong '
 
and noticing what colours I'm feeling
a bit like swimming in a rough sea
you think you're winning and then there is another wave !

machine fed
she hasnt grazed on natural pastures
 
the strong crush the weak ? 
so nothing has changed since the middle ages then ? 

the catharsis
cleans the glands for far and wide like acupuncture
 
the disabled are treated to a hostile environment
 
but I was more elated than scared
I remember sitting in a grave yard once in the middle of the night

like everyone is rushing rushing trying to get somewhere

better too tight than too loose !
 
the healing energy of mother night

if you want commitment
be sure to raise that before anything else ...

if i cant switch off, then i cant switch on !
 
Nic this evening attacked a vulnerable friend of mine
on her goodnight thread
as her way of competing for guy number 6
and showing once again 

that she thinks mental health is not that important
compared to struggles in other parts of the world
 
guy number z is now on the forum harrassing 

me with details of the encounter
in the hope of putting off other men
aided by Chucky who shares his forum identities
 
im proud of number 6
reason is hes not afraid to be vulnerable
which is actually a great strength
 
this time he had a ring
with fingers on it
in the slow phase our souls connect
n then later on he slams it
cosmic explosion of stars
you can feel them slapping
like two kids playing
only now it gets serious  
 
we share 99 % of our dna with chimpanzees
mouth gaping in awe and horror
like a silent scream , muffled and silent
i dont want the teenagers to hear me
choking like the face of scream

130321

Chucky sent a spam actor with a strong smell of bo 

into the fridge aisle of the supermarket 

to make me catch something 

and then someone said ' fuck the knuckle ' 

he is after my latest song 

130321

yes but I was saying it depends on your stand point

if you learn to love yourself
you might find it a compliment
to be called a crazy chick !

130321

the visitor asked for help with pleading eyes

to get rid of the ginger cat !

gives me hope of a tummy rub in the summer !

 

120321

baby mother is a cannibal 

 

 

 

 

120321

eclipse is sharing my blog with her colleagues 

but she wasnt invited here 

and this is not in my real name 

so its a breach of confidentiality 

my sexuality is a gift i was given with my illness 

that belongs to me 

 

 

 

110321

Eclipse will be inebriated for the practice session tomorrow 

and will probably say something cruel about my performance 

 

 

 

 

110321

eclipse befriended me on a forum 

so that she could gather more information to use against me 

and she is actually a lesbian having assured me she wasnt 

then she suddenly disappeared 

she sent me a professional email this evening 

from the professional development course 

saying she is glad that ' everything is straightened out ' 

 

 

 

 

 

110321

mental health professionals are starting to try to work with peoples voices 

to talk to them and find out what their meaning is 

what they represent and what they want 

its the way of the future ! 

ive been telling them that for years ! 

 

 

 

 

110321

i would say that for the purposes of this forum 

that banging on about peoples financial situations

is really divisive and not helpful for peoples mental health 

 

 

 

 

110321

 MrThrowingHerselfAtHimNannyPerson

 

 

 

 

110321

im feeling guilty about Nic 

who is now trying to explore what happened with number 6 

and she is much younger than me  

i try to have a heart for her but she continues to abuse me 

110321

guy number 2 is orchestrating a benefits cut for me 

 

 

 

 

100321

i feel like the girl floating above her bed in the Exorcist 

 

 

 

 

100321

eclipse is plotting to fail me on the peer mentoring course 

and put pressure on me to befriend the author 

 

 

 

 

 

100321

wannabesexlover 

 

 

 

100321

does covid stand for covert id ? 

 

 

 

 

 

090321

its like everyone is very subdued
and also breathing into a mask does something

like when someone would have a panic in the olden days
it was recommended that they breathe into a paper bag
to reduce their breathing

so everyone is in reduced breathing
just focusing on what is in front of them

090321

I dont think it will ever end no
its a case of making the best of it
getting enough exercise and talking to people on zoom

 

 

 

090321

do you need porn to be able to masturbate ? 

 

 

 

 

080321

Chucky is after this song. i have in on an external hard drive Chuck 

i plan to post it in the next few days if im not in hospital ... 

the external hard drive is unplugged 

 

 

 

 

 

080321

apparently im to be tortured 

when i go for my hip op ... 

 

 

 

 

070321

soul travellers 

 

 

 

070321

all i have to do 

is hold on to that dreamy feeling 

 

 

 

 

070321

 

this time he had a cock ring 

with fingers on it 

in the slow phase our souls connect 

n then later on he rams it in 

cosmic explosion of stars 

and again was i ever really paranoid ?   

he rubbed his balls against me 

like two kids playing 

only now it gets serious 

like you can feel the balls slapping against you 

060321

its nice to know youre not obessed with porn 

that you feel it cheapens the relationship 

but surely masturbation is useful when you need a break from each other 

060321

baby mother has harrassed me with a spam password

for my new mobile phone account

she also hopes to mess with my mental health 

because people would say this is paranoia 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

060321

ha ha cold turkey the cold turkey ! 

 

 

 

rude food

040321

Freaky Salad 

the gousto meal ' spiced chicken grain bowl ' 

which contains freekeh 

 

Freaky salad, 

salad pesto and ghost roast !

 

 

040321 

its something paparazi do when they niggle and clutch at straws
must be really irritating for the celeb

 

 

 

 

040321

ive seen stars of different colours 

especially pink ones 



I think they are playing a show of past centuries

if we knew how to see it

 

 

 

 

 

030321

Chucky is going after my sister in law 

 

 

 

 

030321

sometimes the weak look after ' the strong '

 

 

030321

yes I'm working on this very problem
I get it after talking to certain people
this feeling comes along and drowns me
but I'm making progress with writing it down
asking myself how I'm feeling
and noticing what colours I'm feeling

you're welcome ! it helps to share it as well

yes it all chases after me and overtakes me !
a bit like swimming in a rough sea
you think you're winning and then there is another wave !

 

030321

machine fed 

she hasnt grazed on natural pastures 

 

 

 

030321

the strong crush the weak ? 

so nothing has changed since the middle ages then ?  

030321

catharsis 

orgasms clean the glands for far and wide 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

030321

baby mother is sharing intimate details 

of my bedroom activities on my own 

while i can barely walk 

 

 

 

 

 

030321

the disabled are treated to a hostile environment 

 

 

 

030321

we share 99 % of our dna with chimpanzees 

mouth gaping in awe and horror 

like a silent scream , muffled and silent 

i dont want the teenagers to hear me 

choking like the face of scream 

 

 

 

 

 

020321

baby mother has watched a film of me in my bedroom 

and said something nasty about it 

i did not consent 

020321

doctors and psychologists are now exploring whether there is
meaning in those kind of episodes

like a spiritual experience ?

 

 

 

 

020321

Chucky had a drunk spam actor sent inside the supermarket 

to harrass me with singing 

which i was not impressed with 

 

 

 

010321

oh yes I've done things like that
but I was more elated than scared
I remember sitting in a grave yard once in the middle of the night

 

 

010321

like everyone is rushing rushing trying to get somewhere 

ha ha yes why take all the mystery away !