010921

Chucky seems to be always making fun of people 

 

 

 

3108121

difficult to get that balance of being alive and being flat
I suppose if they stopped the injection I would go to high and think I could fly or something

 

310821

the shape of my light is like a mini me 

floating out of my body 

always circling 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

200821

 

 

310821

baby mother sent a spam actress with a child 

to the supermarket to promote ' sharing ' 

by which she means either deleting things from my blog 

and feeding them to tinkerbell 

or watching hacked footage of my bedroom 

120621

 

290821

the visitor did some meditation today in the garden
after a long snooze he was sitting up with his paws tucked under like a little sphinx
looking blissful with his eyes closed !

 

290821

aunt 1 sent two christians into my 12 step group to harrass me 

i caught that she feels very guilty about abandoning my brother 

and the other one harrassed me with private messages 

which i managed to direct back to the group 

 

 

 

 

290821

was that a revenge wank ? 

revenge for what ? or is it variety ? 

doesnt make me love him any less 

what happpens when partners have a wank about someone else 

n its like nic is always demanding his loyalty 

n he does though spend too much time with his ex 

n shes been sucking the life out of me 

so i shagged a comedian 

i havent gone gay tonight though 

and i have cleaned my mind 

 

 

280821

my breath is coming in sharp gasps 

 

 

 

280821

schizophrenics are often much in touch with the stars
living in their emotions 

bunch of emo kids !

270821

i think number two might be sending me nuisance phone calls 

 

 

 

 

270821

baby mother is also planning on removing parts of this blog 

and claiming that she wrote it 

along with a singer friend of hers  called tinker

 

 

 

 

270821

nic is hard at work dissing me on the forum 

and no chance of her paying for any therapy either 

oh of course not because there is nothing wrong with her ! 

 

 

 

270821

the chuckster 

is talking about hacking into this blog 

and moving some words around ... 

 

 

 

250821

im happy to support other peoples dreams 

if they dont cross other peoples boundaries and consensuality 

 

 

 

2240821

number two reminds me sometimes of a schoolboy 

wanting his nose wiped 

 

 

 

240821

spirituality can also make one lazy as well I noticed
sometimes an atheist will produce a lot of magic

sometimes conjuring or stolen 

or sometimes pure magic




 

230821

Santa Claus was real 

the magic happened the mince pie disappeared 

and someone looked through the door in a red dressing gown 

happened to be my mum so what ! 

for the atheists ... you know there is such a thing as magic 

and that is a spiritual dimension ... 

 

 

 

230821

apparenlty my dads sister 

is getting video footage of me 

 

 

 

220821

I think chasing a dream is like chasing a moon beam
its worth it even if you never get there

220821

apparenly you can nominate a forum staff

by using the report button 

expect a swarm of politically motivated nominations 

from nic and the cam girl 

 

 

 

220821

according to Nic and the cam girl 

im now on my death bed 

 

 

 

220821

baby mother sent a spam actress into my zoom meeting 

to tell me im like a goth Oprah

pretty sure Oprah didnt give permission for that ... 

im a big fan of hers 

 

 

 

220821

even though our families dont like it 

and we're wrong for each other 

 

 

 

 

210821

i miss him and dont want him to go 

 

 

 

210821

there are some left wing people who are anti semitic 

and also want to do away with disabled people 

which is why im not really into politics 

 

 

 

210821

hard pushed to find a post to answer 

that isnt Nic 

 

 

 

210821

i have never had anything to do with the Jewish religion 

and anyway whats with the anti semitism ? 

 

 

 

210821

there is anger boiling in my stomach 

 

 

 

210821

he is right though 

that we are wrong for each other 

k thanks for doing it for me 

 

 

 

210821

i cant even afford a cat 

let alone a batch of children 

 

 

 

210821

well so what i cant live with an addict anyway 

ha ha and i dont even know what the guy looks like ! 

 

 

 

210821

oh yes and she is so poor 

have you seen the cost of fags these days ! 

 

 

 

210821

number 6 cant just say he has met someone else 

he has to diss me in the process 

well good riddance to him 

he is just a puppet of the author anyway 

 

 

 

 

200821

the wedding of the bone and the bloom 

 

 

 

word jam : cuckooed in a trap house

its not letting go of pain its getting through it
feeling needs to be felt, sat with

the foxes sounds like little aliens
when they are clicking and clacking in the middle of the night

I've given up treats
and nb this is a poetry blog

losers luck

chuckster and baby mother
are discussing removing parts of this blog
and presenting them as their own work

i deserve to get my own way
im grateful i dont have to do school runs
making things go according to plan
coffee mornings ahoy !

glad ive got everything sorted

my feelings are like a pallette of different colours
that make new colours

i deserve all my feelings
i deserve to live happily ever after !

nic is spamming the forum again
i put her identities on ignore
but she keeps making new ones
so that she dominates the whole forum

some people
are conspiring to have me sectioned
for non compliance with their agendas

some say
that women who have not had children
are not real women !

trying to get into a nice bedtime routine !

im on the ceiling looking down at my body
too dependent on the validation of others

I guess romance is the part of the relationship
that isn't sexual

I think Freud was right that people are too embarrassed
about their bodily functions

but I definitely don't fancy my relatives !

i cant get turned on because im supposed to get turned on
i just dontwork like that

it is laziness
when women neglect their own sexuality
and compenstate for it by making fun of other women

im not interested in becoming a nun thankyou

lot of anger coming up for me today
what with changes I'm making in my diet

I've never been good with anger
so its quite frightening when you get old stuff from the past

sex is very fulfilling

diversify and survive
got my straight pants on

cuckooed in a trap house
the twisties

cutting open a pigs eyeball
touch wood

ive been with some horrible men
and youre the worst !
recently its always you , phwoaaar !
i gasp your name grinding my teeth
he has a magical state of mind,
the world is not ready for him yet
there is some sort of a horse appearing on the wall
a party in my trousers
flashing lights from the sun

dazzling refracted light

wait a minute he says, do you love me,
do you promise not to leave me ?
and im worried he will stop
again the butterfly garment caused me pain

which caused a disturbance ,
this time it was me wearing the trousers

as the guitar warps like a Dali

but then he does spend so much time with his ex

200821

both number 2 and number 6

are too involved with their ex partners 

to be really available for a new relationship 

getting all their emotional and social needs from her 

 

 

 

200821

its not letting go of pain its getting through it 

 

feeling needs to be felt, sat with 

 

 

 

190821

clips is organising for number 6 to be forced into mating duties 

 

 

 

 

190821

the foxes sounds like little aliens 

when they are clicking and clacking in the middle of the night 

 

 

 

190821

im not eating cookies either actually nic 

cakes chocolate puddings no 

just an oat bar 

 

 

 

180821

chuckster sent spam actors to harrass me at the supermarket 

 

 

 

180821

baby mother was talking about deleting one of my songs 

im not sure which one though 

 

 

 

 250519

250721

161119

170821

clips has come too close 

to referencing this blog on the forum  

and nb this is a poetry blog not a stupid manifesto ! 

150821

losers luck 

 

 

 

 140821

wait a minute he says, do you love me, do you promise not to leave me ? 

and im worried he will stop 

looks like i might be able to do the girl on girl thing as well 

that men like 

again the butterfly pants caused me pain at the end 

which caused a disturbance , they sure are fun though 

140821

this time it was me wearing the trousers 

as the guitar warps like a Dali 

 

 

 

 

130821

baby mother is planning to attack me with germs tomorrow 

at the supermarket 

 

 

 

130821

chuckster and baby mother 

are discussing removing parts of this blog 

and presenting them as their own work 

 

 

 

130821

i deserve to get my own way 

 

 

 

120821

ive been a bit ' absent ' this last week 

due to a food sensitivity issue 

 

 

 

120821

im grateful i dont have to do school runs 

making things go according to plan 

coffee mornings ahoy !  

and Christmas duties !

 

 

 

 

120821

i challenged the cam girl 

because of her attitude to mental health 

and for no other reason 

 

 

 

120821

glad ive got everything sorted 

 

 

 

110821

my feelings are like a pallette of different colours 

that make new colours 

 

 

 

 

110821

i deserve all my feelings 

i deserve to live happily ever after ! 

 

 

 

110821

i said that about Nic spamming the forum 

because she was flooding it 

so that everyone was nic 

not for any other reason ... 

 

 

 

110821

 

there was a very deep fume of tcp 

at the outside benches of the supermarket 

and there is just one guy sitting there 

obviously making the fume 

which happened last time 

 

 

 

100821

clips has ordered myself and my friend 

to go to bed 

which means that she is up to something ! 

she might want to put a stop to my friendship ,

to kidnap number 6 

or put pressure on me to work 

 

 

 

100821

nic is spamming the forum again 

i put her identities on ignore 

but she keeps making new ones 

so that she dominates the whole forum 

 

 

 

 

090821

aunt 1 spamming my 12 step meetings 

with religious proselytising 

i dont listen to it hun ... 

 

 

 

080821

well I hope it works out 

but life sometimes throws up other opportunities
that we had not predicted
so that might happen as well

you are not an island





 

080821

ive posted some artwork on youtube 

and its not appearing on the home page 

 

 

 

070821

baby mother clips and aunt 1

are conspiring to have me sectioned 

for non compliance with their agendas 

 

 

 

070821

baby mother and clips had me sprayed with after shave 

at the supermarket 

when will i learn not to give clips a hug ? 

clips holds the very up to date view 

that women who have not had children 

are not real women ! 

 

 

 

070821

trying to get into a nice bedtime routine ! 

 

 

 

070821

nic is spamming the forum 

with fake anorexia posts which she laughs about 

when there is nothing wrong with her 

 

 

 

 

060821

number 6 has been kidnapped for mating duties 

 

 

 

060821

im on the ceiling looking down at my body 

 

 

 

060821

Nic is spamming my youtube channel 

classy ! 

 

 

 

050821

places like this are helping me to define myself
rather than needing validation from others


I guess romance is the part of the relationship
that isn't sexual

which could be anything from beans on toast

050821

course there is a risk with any partner 

they will want me to cook dinner 

and socialise with the author 

 

 

 

 

050821

I think Freud was right that people are too embarrassed
about their bodily functions

but I definitely don't agree that we fancy our relatives !





 

050821

i cant get turned on because im supposed to get turned on 

i just dontwork like that  

050821

I think some people can't change
because other people keep trying to change them
this is one of the central tenets of the samaritans
is to break out of other peoples expectations of us

040821

i was just starting to question my relationship with number 6 

when apparently that process is taken out of my hands ! 

well that takes away my own process isnt it 

 

 

 

040821

my sister in law is mocking me on the forum 

look at the guidelines about naming and shaming people 

 

 

 

 

 

 

020821

i am grateful for the trauma therapy i have had 

that gives me insight into trauma 

 

 

 

010821

it is laziness 

when women neglect their own sexuality 

and compenstate for it by making fun of other women 

 

 

 

010821

im not interested in becoming a nun thankyou

sex is a beautiful thing 

 

 

 

 010821

 the butterfly pants 

was a bit painful so i had to do another one 

which ended up a gay one because my hand ran out of power 

but thats not so fulfilling