311221

simplisticked 

 

 

 

301221

trawled 

 

 

 

301221

general knowledge 

 

 

 

291221

bullied 

 

 

 

281221

heavy going 

 

 

 

281221

nic is attacking me on social media 

with violent hate speech 

 

 

 

271221

i didnt say i left you 

i mean we are not ready to be married 

when you are so tied up with your ex 

we havent even met yet either 

i dont know i just feel like a mother with a teenage son or something  

271221

k im not married to number 6

because there is this dialogue going on all the time 

between him and his ex 

we can carry on with the relationship but we are not married 

 

 

 

261221

aunt 1 and the cam girl 

are harrassing me on the internet 

 

 

 

251221

magical classicism 

 

 

 

 

241221

ive always been the one to ' give him back ' 

but tonight that is not possible 

because it would mean divorcing him at Christmas ! 

ask me again on boxing day ! 

 

 

 

241221

were married hun 

not sure whos doing the stealing ? 

 

 

 

 

231221

a well seasoned script 

 

 

 

221221

painting by numbers ? 

 

 

 

word jam : my Christmas aura 2021

 


simplicity
as in be open and honest
and let the powers that be have the complexity  
 
my aura is  a bubble of orange and pink
blowing bubbles
these dizzy heights
 
sometimes the magic rubs off on you 
yes imagine two people expoding at the same time
youd almost repel each other
with centripetal force

n yes it would be traumatic
like a positive trauma
youd be in shock

youll know if your addicted
if you havent got any friends ha ha
maybe we need to uncouple,
its not the relationship thats the problem its the marriage

hes a very brave man and this is Christmas
there was a second one too  

the light is blinding and the trippy colours
im back in the sixties
and all is peace and love
Merry Christmas everyone
n this is how the stars were made

yup its a normal natural thing to do
yup just like a drug
guess i was ready to be more exclusive
and he wasnt

I believe that empathy can be learned
through person centred Rogerian psychotherapy

if you persist in being a person
and getting to know yourself

lying on a mat concentrating on different parts of the body
especially when we got to the feet and toes
 
Christmas time
theyve all got to say
what the others want them to say
and i in my lonely bubble
can think what i want
albeit painful
 
but i have fought for this  
the owlies oaky nutty bones
make the tune like a wooden flute
and many a family man
would like to be in this boat
 
knowledge ?
i had a blank phone call this morning
from a local number
someone sitting in a cafe or bar
 
words weighed and measured
 
the weather is like the i Ching
 
not everyone wants an intellectual conversation
 
i have discovered that i can stop flirting if needs be
i can be exclusive if i want to

we cant always predict
other peoples reactions to us
and to do so is to live in fear and joylessness
 
shapes shifting and morphing
with the winds of change 
to drift and dream
through fields of elecampane
 
k so we pretended we were not married
and went to find a hay barn
for a few minutes  
torsion im as powerful as a man
big bangs for me
got him in a thumbscrew

had a zoom call today with my gay friend 


and while we were talking a ring on his finger broke ! 


and we spoke about the Japanese tradition 


of finding broken vases more beautiful
and mending them with gold 


maybe if i listed all the things that love isnt
i would be left with love
 
and the present is a gift
just saw a shooting star !

i can smell sick in my nose

ill not be by your side all the time
got other things to attend to ...

211221

simplicity 

as in be open and honest 

and let the government have the complexity ... 

authors Christmas drive 

 

 

 

 

211221

my aura is  a bubble of orange and pink 

blowing bubbles

these dizzy heights 

 

 

 

211221

 

sometimes the magic rubs off on you  

yes imagine two people expoding at the same time 

youd almost repel each other 

with centripetal force 

n yes it would be traumatic

like a positive trauma 

youd be in shock 

youll know if your addictive 

if you havent got any friends ha ha 

maybe we need to uncouple, 

its not the relationship thats the problem its the marriage 

hes a very brave man and this is Christmas 

the second one was about being on a web cam 

and i nearly wet myself 

im like an enormous emotional toddler 

the light is blinding and the trippy colours 

im back in the sixties 

and all is peace and love 

Merry Christmas everyone 

n this is how the stars were made 

211221

yup masturbation is a normal natural thing to do 

yup just like a drug 

 

 

 

 

201221

maybe she can look after him 

better than i can 

 

 

 

201221

guess i was ready to be more exclusive 

and he wasnt 

 

 

 

201221

theres too much going on between number 6 and his ex 

im trying to leave divorcing him 

until after Christmas as i dont want to upset people 

 

 

 

 

191221

try to give a compliment to the person you envy
sometimes this works magic





 

191221

I believe that empathy can be learned
through person centred Rogerian psychotherapy





 

191221

if you persist in being a person
and getting to know yourself
you can select the people that see you for yourself

191221

I didn't find a difference between mindfulness and meditation / relaxation .
I remember in hospital we had relaxation after dinner
and it really boosted my recovery at that point
lying on a mat concentrating on different parts of the body
especially when we got to the feet and toes
it made me feel really grounded





 

171221

that was a horrible thing to happen to you or to anyone.
I hope you will be able to treat the trauma
by being extra good to yourself

161221

 

Christmas time 

theyve all got to say 

what the others want them to say

 

and i in my lonely bubble 

can think what i want 

albeit painful 

 

but i have fought for this  

the owlies oaky nutty bones 

make the tune like a wooden flute 

and many a family man 

would like to be in this boat 

 

 

 

 

 

 

161221

my therapist said to me recently 

that ive been a witness to a horrible situation 

watching someone i love in decline 

and being lied to 

hes not in any kind of recovery 

 

 

 

151221

knowledge

 

 

 

141221

i think maybe the author 

has given my phone number to nic 

who is threatening to get her mates to beat me up 

while im on crutches

 

 

 

141221

i had a blank phone call this morning 

from a local number 

someone sitting in a cafe or bar 

 

 

 

 

 

 

141221

words weighed and measured 

 

 

 

 

141121

not sure what my folks would think of us actually 

weve not been allowed to meet yet 

im not in the habit of letting my folks choose my partners 

 

 

 

141221

the author has plans 

to make a concerted effort 

to discredit me over Christmas 

 

 

 

 

141221

oh I used to get that !

in private say to yourself ' nobody knows what I'm thinking '

say it 3 times a day not much to ask 

 

 

 

 

131221

the weather is like the i Ching 

 

 

 

131221

i guess there are different types of interaction 

depends what kind of memes youre trying to promote 

not everyone wants an intellectual conversation 

 

 

 

131221

hectic, frenetic 

 

 

 

 

131221

maybe just teething problems 

like post natal depression 

when the weight of what you are doing hits 

hoping we can get through to the other side 

 

 

 

131221

i dont know maybe its marriage itself that i dont like  

although i have discovered that i can stop flirting if needs be 

i can be exclusive if i want to 

there are alot of cliches attached to marriage 

121221

youre talking to your ex all the time 

because you dont have other friends that are truly platonic 

this lays me open to alot of abuse 

because nic thinks its more than it is 

 

 

 

 

121221

there is too much going on between number 6 and Nic 

so i think i will soon end this marriage 

yes i do sometimes lose my rag 

in the face of all this abuse 

 

 

 

121221 

we cant always predict 

other peoples reactions to us 

and to do so is to live in fear and joylessness 

111221

tail gate , verbosity 

a beached whale 

could also mean someone that just lies there

 

 

 

101221

 

shapes shifting and morphing 

with the winds of change  

to drift and dream 

through fields of elecampane

 

k so we pretended we were not married 

and went to find a hay barn 

6 minutes 

torsion im as powerful as a man

big bangs for me 

got him in a thumbscrew

 

 

 

091221

 

since we got married 

my husband is spending most of his time 

talking to his ex 

i feel like im being used 

and this is what they call the merry go round of denial 

 

thing is if i divorce him then we will just go round again 

so maybe best to wait until he fully cheats on me 

so that it will be properly over 

 

 

 

 

081221

bored 

 

 

 

081221

number 2 is using the children as pawns 

 

 

 

 

081221

had a zoom call today with my gay friend
while we were talking a ring on his finger broke !

it was a ring given to him by his partners father
silver with a semi precious stone which looked like dark purple
blackcurrant colour ,
the stone suddenly broke in half !
he said he is still going to wear it
and we spoke about the Japanese tradition
of finding broken vases more beautiful 

and mending them with gold

 

081221

 

i feel like theres a little boy 

wanting mummy 

and then complaining that mummy isnt turning him on 

marriage not going great 

we are two commitment phobes 

071221

maybe if i listed all the things that love isnt 

i would be left with love 

 

 

 

071221

the past is history , the future is a mystery 

and the present is a gift 

someone said 

 

 

 

071221

just saw a shooting star ! 

 

 

 

071221

i can smell sick in my nose 

 

 

071221

 

we got married

because we are fed up with people 

trying to split us up 

so we have a chance to explore our relationship 

071221

ill not be by your side all the time 

got other things to attend to ... 

word jam : love bombed

twinkling lights

you cared that she might be tired
and not want to be pushed

but you are jumping ahead

its possible to deal with shyness by being open about it
tell them you're feeling shy and don't know what to expect
that you feel awkward on first encounters for instance
make up your own version

RD Laing said that psychosis can come from mixed messages
either in early life in the family
or from society / teachers educators etc

many of whom are mixed race
if they develop the skills

i may be over reacting
im not feeling that great in myself today

somethings trying to get my attention today,
I lost my keys, my phone failed
there is a terrible pain
and my broken gutter is rapping on the window !

most people are not confident
although they might pretend to be as a front
its normal to feel shy in the presence of someone you dont know
especially if you admire them

I think the statue of Virginia Woolf 


its a stunning piece of work 


and would look really surreal by the Thames 



even if someone would attack it 

how to turn water into wine
be really thirsty !

the music is talking to me
love comes first

an act of pacifism is timely 
and often comes from one 

who is engaged in battle 


who realises 

that fighting is not to his advantage

today i thought to myself that i am ready ...
im ready to have the courage to take the risk ...
of letting him hit rock bottom ,
to sink or swim as he chooses

im living in a war zone
with my brother nearly dying every five minutes
and a war game going on next door to boot

but Rabbit the kitten had wild night time hunting eyes

and a part of me will rail against the break up
because the grief is complicated
and a part of you doesn't believe you have moved on
and is angry about it

and yet the moving on is undeniable and set in stone
because of the way I've grown

he was giving me my first experience in a cupboard
pleasuring plays a big part in modern day torture
the light was blazing
didnt take much notice of the other guys
then i gave birth to a baby cat
the tension built around us to a fever pitch

it bent me over double
rubbed raw

he is like a werewolf
seems meek and mild until ...

my husband is the rising sun
and the moon at night
and everybody loves a villain

my aura fans out like a firework
firing shots of white energy
as im turned inside out ,
the strength in my muscles suddenly apparent
feeling no longer weak

burning up like a sunny day

i used the butterfly clothes
might have to sell up
yes the same thing has happened again
we've done each other
im also on anti psychotics
and a bang on the head
repercussions thoughout the body
he has an aura of sunshine
warm bright light which dazzles me
and creases me up

n ive been bombed again

061221

twinkling lights 

 

 

 

051221

k Id like to have a go at that little knot !
some positives there ... you cared that she might be tired
and not want to be pushed

whats wrong I think is you have expectations that are jumping ahead
of what is going on with someone extremely new to you
and expectations of yourself that are unreasonable

its possible to deal with shyness by being open about it
tell them you're feeling shy and don't know what to expect
that you feel awkward on first encounters for instance
make up your own version

not everyone is going to like that
but it will filter out people who are not genuine towards you

041221

RD Laing said that psychosis can come from mixed messages
either in early life in the family
or from society / teachers educators etc

in my area there is a tradition of them being cared for by nuns
many of the patients being mixed race
especially a mix of Irish and English

031221

somebody has been opening my back gate at night 

 

 

 

021221

balsa wood