she did actually leave a message for her brother today 
to say that he does react to people
gets aggressive and maybe doesnt realise 
that people can wind you up in hospitals and stuff 
and you have to try not to react to them 
because they are very sick people ... 

280916  12.50 am 

i used to bunk train fares and do benefit scams ! 
one time i was even smoking in the train toilet ! 
i had to repay a debt to Barclays Bank 
and had to travel a long way to the branch. 
my brother and i did a housing benefit scam 
where we had tenants living with us illegally . 
i didnt really understand how it worked. 
never got caught. 
my brother and i would fight. 
one time i threw him down a flight of stairs 
and he called me a little slag 

i did have to go to court about the tv licence though ! 

8.55 pm   240916 

for you ... 

I'll turn off my phone ! 

250916

i start feeling this is what i deserve
to have someone phone me up and shout and swear at me
it clubs at my spirit
i have lost my sparkle


230916

my stomach is churning 
like a washing machine ... 


200916   21.30 pm 

good night my precious 
light a star for me 
i wont be seeing you for a while ... 


190916 

he's clucking ... 
she can't find the love in her heart 
she felt as though he hated her 
and now she hates herself ... 

adrenaline rush ... 

she is not allowed to sky dive
because of her mental health issues 
and doesnt know what to do 
with her need for excitement ... 

i love swans and birds in general ... one time i saw a rook sheltering under a homeless girls umbrella apparently he stood there for 5 hours ! after that day i always now carry a camera with me ...

200916 

she also tried the same experiment 
with a long slug 
and a big spider 
and put all the videos up on Twitter
who of course threatened to ban her ... 


180916

I actually wanted to do it with a gerbil ... 
they nearly let me buy one 
but i didnt have enough cash on me 
so i went out to a cash window 
and returned with £20 
by which time 
someone had pointed out 
that you have to show a photograph of the glass cage 
that you plan to keep them in ... 
and of course i didnt have that
so i took a finch 

afterwards i remembered 
that gerbils teeth and jaws 
are so powerful 
that they can bore through metal cages and non-reinforced glass 
there i was planning to put it in a disposal bag 
and then into my vagina ... 


170916    9.35 pm 

another thing I did before being hospitalised 
was to buy a finch ... 
I wrapped it in plastic
put it in a small pepper pot
and put the pot up my vagina ... 

then i pulled off the lid 
opened the plastic and the bird flew out ... 

i did this 3 times
and one of the birds died. 
the other two i let go free into the wild ...