20.32 

it seems that the family 

all turned out to help me get trhough my illness 

and that nobody has any energy left for my brother ... 

it then falls to me

to take him on by myself ... 

which means that i cant recover 

and this is also not going to be enough for him ... 

somebody needs to do the maths ... 

090416     4pm

I seem to be back on social media with a vengeance ... 

flirting with peopel ... 

only this time im trying not to get my heart involved ... 

this person is not your partner 

its just some sort of an internet game you are playing ...

14.13

I am afraid to have sex 

in case it makes my nose bleed ... 

Jeenfall9 hours ago
+MrKatyia Oh wow she is concernd now
Reply   
 
MrKatyia1 second ago
+Jeenfall
yes she has written a letter to support me
although if this was a thriller
that could still be a trick !

its like i try to climb out of my illness

and i can feel the fresh air above me and see the light

and then another wave comes and slaps me down x

they seem to think i have nothing else to do
as if i did not have these diagnoses ...
Reply   
 
MrKatyia1 second ago
+MrKatyia
i think its a disgrace for them
to be associated with such an unpalatable reality ...



which calls into question the virtue of their daughters ...

13.08

no wonder my mum had to go to hospital ... 


speaking of picking at scabs ...