080217  11.45 pm 

dog is barking 

things are getting her down today 
he shouts and swears at her 
theres rubbish everywhere 
her stomach is churning  

hammering banging and drilling 
does he not like her song ? 
maybe he can hear her singing ... 
maybe he wants her gone 

060217    11.30 am 

it tears at my heart ... 
he could easily kill himself 
with that drug in his hand 

i had to leave the room
choked on my words ... 

I've made a graph of my moods 
to track the bipolar thing 

song : a sick joke

050217


is this some kind of a sick joke ?
she is in rehab ...

she's on a court order
to make her take her meds
its compulsory
but now they want to see
if she will take it herself
she has to go to court
because she never wanted it
in the first place
so what will happen is she doesnt take it

ha ha look what a coward she is
look at her taking her medication
now you can be free
to lose weight
to fly again with your spirit
now's your big chance 

6.30pm

the pedophile next door 
made a horrible aggressive yelling noise 
right next to my bathroom ... 

020217


she is in an odd position now 
there is a court order
to say she has to take her medication 
its compulsory 
but next year , they want to take her off the court order
and make it optional 
and see whether she takes it herself 
and MrKatyia has to go to court 
to ask them 'please, don't take me off the court order 
please make my medication compulsory 
otherwise the other part of me 
might not want to take it 
cus i never wanted to go on medication in the first place ... 

and the other part of me is saying 
'ha ha ha look, see what a coward she is 
look at her taking her medication. 
now's your big chance to get off it 
its made you put on weight 
its made you lose your spirit 
and now's your big chance to get off it 
what are you doing trying to co-operate with them ... 

23.00    010217

trainspotting in 2017 : 

have you seen one ?