200217 

the building work next door,

the dog barking the other side
the rail strike
support worker withdrawing
psychiatrist wants me to come off lorazepam
a close friend died
and the usual pressures of coping with my brother ... 

the pedophiles dog
barked all the way through my phone call ... 

19.30 

whats the point of it all ? 

the pain stabs me in the stomach 
bursting the dam
as the flood gates break down 
with the force of rushing water 

song : all these tortured souls

140217 1pm 

Happy Valentines 
maybe if i hadnt cheated so much 
you'd be here 
still here with me 

all these tortured souls 
reaching out for me 
and they think that I'm stuck up
because i feel better 
its so painful to leave them 
im drowning in quicksand ... 

4pm

i suffer, therefore i am ... 

without the pain 
what would i write about ? 

poem : not now please mate

100217 


not just now please mate ... 
kind of a hangover 
as if i myself was drunk 
of course i am drinking him 
addicted to his gloomy disease 

my mood is minus 3 
on this roller coaster ride 
and you can never get off ... 

give it a rest will you mate
i just wish i was dead ... 

song : people get drunk and leave clues

090217

people get drunk and leave clues
this crippling guilt and fear
that has her down
down on the floor
taking a kicking to her heart

060217 11.30 am

it tears at her soul ...
he could easily kill himself
with that drug in his hand
she had to leave the room
choked on her words ...