im in shock 
i cannot move 
all the magic is gone 

they will kick me out 
and where will i go ?

stranded here 
with a psychopath ...

080917 / 090917 

searching for my dead mother 
this morbid obsession 

i had to go on living 
without her 
n i didnt want to 

060917 

just this frustration and rage 
that i can't find her 

and you're not her ... 

food : fluorescent spaghetti / neon spaghetti

070917 

make a pesto 
with Capricorn goats cheese, basil, rocket, watercress, spinach, 
rapeseed oil, 5 cloves of garlic, a bit of water 

050917

scream as loud as you can, she said 
as she thumped me in the back 
and ran her finger 
down my neck 

you're stuck ... 

020917 

it rips my heart 

030917 

of course to them 
an argument 
might not be the end of the world 
where to me its a catastrophe 

i can hear them rowing 
and slamming doors 

hostilities