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the fib are altering things 
in my mail box and email groups 
some of them have joined the email group 

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i want to join my mummy in heaven 

there is a big lump of pain right here 
and all over my chest

and all the tears i havent cried 
the pain just locked up inside 

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i thought you'd understand 
this feeling of loss 
that you want to join him  
you know ... to be in the astral plane 
not literally ! 

send my love to him 
via that star 

trying not to flirt 
gunshot blasting through the wall 
clashing of swords 

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the fib are hacking my gmail and yahoo mail accounts 
to stop me communicating with my sponsor 

and have made inroads to my online support groups 
infiltrating them with mocking sarcastic posts 

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he's on a drug fuelled bender
and now its made me paranoid 
triggering flashbacks 
of being off the rails ...

my angry paranoid moods 

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its all gone horribly wrong 
this diluted life 
a breath of fresh air 
in a robotic world 

a crazed mental patient 
testing my sanity 
I've slipped 
he hasn't called 
i can't sleep, i feel so hungry 
if you don't reply to me this evening 
I'm going elsewhere 

i feel hurt and angry and rejected 
resentful, isolated, neglected

what am i an alcoholic psychiatric patient ? 
i don't seem to fit in 

maybe if i wore something less attractive 
its hardly sexually provocative 
hes not going to give up without a fight 

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i only send messages
by pigeon carrier 

i feel hurt and angry and rejected