and your body being shaped by the experience the sharp edges chipped away
(half asleep an dreaming)
like you've died and have come back to haunt the place
from a different plane just not really all there
like as if you're behind the bushes watching people or something
******************
i think its coming back to me now there was like an explosion of emotion in my chest
with the light and quite traumatising and then thinking yours fine when you are not
like you do like as if there was a nuclear holocaust an you're sort of singing along the road with your back all burned
as if everything was fine ...
pretty much out of it all day a lovely helpless sensation
an there was that feeling of two wolves clawing all over each other
i did get flames of light an a slight boner
3.06.13. © Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved ***********************
they promised her afterwards a blanket food and a television
I don't recommend that it was very unpleasant indeed
a sacred jellyfish as yet untouched
the subject of whispers
a terror suspect was detained without trial or warning
i experienced yours there were wild cats screeching
it was a tough climb
14.18 30.05.13.
20.52 22.05.13.
*******************************
my heart is kind of doubled up with cramp
lanced blowtorched skin
n all these robot actresses keep on trying to poke you ...
being hurled over a mountain of trash
the wind whining round it in great searing spirals
stabbing a nasty giant boil all blistering sore and lacerated
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved 11-16 May 2013
16.05.13.
musskiss
n then he came into my room and said he was going to teach me something
an i didn't know what he was doing ...
Im going to stop you though half way between lurching and biting ... like do you think we might
be rushing things ...
music
an i dont remember doing anything particularly strenuous did i ...
n my lips are swollen and peeling again like they are going numb from radiation
mucis
and the same food tastes completely different
yeah and i just feel like bound and gagged like im not allowed to express how i feel ... ...
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
you know an if we was just allow to be on our own
an i don't want them to have my birdsong see n i was singing to Scarey like a bir an i can't remember is now
an i warbled like an alien chile n i was all gooey
you know and i feel like Scarey is really there for me like i could turn to him with any problem
including this one ... cus i really want what we had
11.01am
an the thing about Scarey is how i feel afterwards is more poetic and my pictures actually look more alien see
13.05.13.
oh they were nigh birds ...
an i dreamed i was recording these birds from another planet
my heart still fitting an i thought about how he felt
and then i was like adrift with malaria ... delirious and the boat cocking and stuff ... and you actually smelled vomit as you wee thrown under again by another wave ... and they are still going off
couple of hours later theers another explosion in the basement and one on the first floor ... and you're like crawling to get out ... n this energy shoots up like a
hydraulic jet ... phaser pulse rifle
that ripped me open like my chest was torn and a bluish light with white sparks
like my guts had been lazered out tazered an now i feel very sick .. . a fire in the cellar
the hot wind exploded in the lung
causing vertigo and loss of balance turning circles in the air i jumped round trying to make a get away
like as boiling water poured into the fuse box
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
isn't that going to hurt what if it kills me Scarey
that place with the vultures an the deserted beach and stuff isn't it and all seaweed there and the menacing sky
***************
yeah some of it could look dull if you are emotionally desensitised ...
i actually have amnesia about that one ... you know it took me somewhere ... hey it took me somewhere that I'm afraid to look at its jus so beautiful it breaks my heart
to look at it ...
like the piranha it hurts ... an its gonna kill me
so thanks for the complaint without which i might not have gone ...
an there are other people i like nearly as much
and could be happy with
you know an there is a place that is beyond music or pictures or anything
00.52 7.05.13.
why Scarey because he's like a parent and a child rolled into one ... tha is very advanced in emotions an can show me things ... is good at making links an mediating and stuff its like emotionally Im getting alot more from him than i would get elsewhere
an cus i love him more than anyone else
********************
his toddler was driving him nuts swearing and dark thoughts sleep deprived anxious and gullible
00.32am 1.04.13. © Lizarikk
white noise from the appliances like the loud heartbeat inside the womb rocking the sea
facilitated by the darkness nobody comes to hear my cries an i lie there with my pain all alone screaming nobody takes away my pain
it shatters the crystal tourmaline of night in the flickering candle light licking up the bed
clutching my heart i reach for a blanket that wraps me like the crib that holds me in its song as i howl for a mother long since dead
********************************
Sunday, 28 April 2013 the glug of hunger the raw stubble of a soul that ploughs in deep roughing up the thigh a world that is flawed and absurd
creation fell into a corrupt state the chain of suffering and imperfection the shock of an unusual and blasphemous explanation an infant bonding with a stem turning into leaves the resin of dark wood the howl of a strangled puppy emanating from a branch like a pool of molten glass
misc draft 28.04.13. 18.30
25.04.13. 8.30pm misc draft
my head feels like a trampoline with the notes bouncing on it slowly like a skin ... and suddenly weightless floating in slow motion ... like you do like that piece of shrapnel moving slowly past the sun ... and then i seem to turn into an amplifier like a echo chamber
just a boom box for the sex hop wah wah that is not music the pelt is my inside out organs expose glistening to receive the sounds gurgling glugging sounds from an alien place ... my heart curdled
like it scrunched up an all my innards crunched ... your dirty filthy ...
an yeah the sky is celebrating the crown jewels are in a cabinet in emergency break glass an the river of love flows on through the light storm
chords that bubble and swell
viscous loops anthemic wordless conch that swells my heart bending the air the music speaks like the words of cats
looking into its eyes it purrs and rolls on its back it howls for me and runs away when i chase it
bending my thoughts talkin just to me makin love to ma mind running its fingers through my hair round my achin head ...
planting little kisses on the crown tracing my skull strangled loops reedy croon pulling at the tides
how it pours slinky into a glass smooth rich heavy honey oozing over the top
24.04.13. © Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved misc draft
and the sky is bright white
squeezing the heart muscles like an accordion
pushing the buttons
11am misc draft
smokey smooch
vampire organs pulling the heart strings
i glug it down
great gulps of music down the gullet that sings my heat
24.04.13.
Wednesday, 10 April 2013
love smashing into itself that was one of those car crash things you know where you are thrown out of your seat the floor kicks you into the windscreen
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved 00.59 11.04.13.
Wednesday, 10 April 2013
love smashing into itself that was one of those car crash things you know where you are thrown out of your seat the floor kicks you into the windscreen
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
00.59 11.04.13.
bit of a crab thing too like your sitting on something in the water trying to dig it out of the sand
and then blasted out of the water
and it keeps biting you or maybe a lobster
pinching thing
so theres is cobra , fire breath .. .
and now crab, impact, crash and crunch are different types of orgasm and that light trance maybe a jelly orgasm , fever, coma ,
******************
well anyway lets call that a hallucinogenic orgasm I'm surprised there are not more names to look up ...
and then theres the balloon type where you are like Jewel said a balloon that doesnt go down !
you know sometimes you just sort of hang there like as if you are just turned into spirit and gas just floating with your arms like of wobbling in the air
and i feel the helium and hydrogen coming back in now boing
you know and to feel you putting your feelings in me like that is the best way to get them
the grip of love that locks on to love and makes a binge of love a greedy pawing love selfish hunger
that licks the spoon and sucks on love and rolls it round the tongue squeezing its own love ... all over the lovely stick of love ...
yum spilling over
and then all this love builds up in the bottle neck
violent redox
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
22.04.13. 00.48am
*******************
he didn't talk gaelic to you no he did me though
looking right down inside you ... a sharp intake of breath contraction rings
similar streaks in the eyes of a man he was treating for a broken leg and the eyes of an owl
there were some flashing lights there and a cutting feeling ... and then my mum phoned ...
the music is dribbling down the walls like monster play slime
i don't even really want to think about that or to think about thinking about it then again if i was to not think about it ...
can you call off your dog please Im trying to get the maggots off my crutch
and I can smell the fear in your nose ...
17-20 April 2013 © Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
Scareys music meltdown
separation, calculation, trepidation, jubilation a film without music can't ever be scary And maybe I'll play a song that gets you, that you get, that is yours he started throwing himself around the room in a furious, jumpy dance
what I do to sabotage
he played it again and again and again that aarrrrrggggh noise makes me feel brilliant I'm a firestarter
unguhhhhh ungggggg
16-17 April 2013
Scarys music simmer
16-17 April 2013
whacked up the volume... But I had to stop listening gulping sobs on the 159 are OK but not if you're out of tissues and have to use an empty Tangfastics packet
to mop your snot
an instant joy kick for me a rush of adrenaline and fight-f**k energy makes me wanna drive my car into a brick wall you became a part of me a part of me
gorgeous
i couldn't quite accept it i took the song and hugged it close mixed up with that music it moulded itself around me i understood the language and i sang back to it that unravelled my feeling unravelled my feeling ...
grimey tracks
crackling like that burning oil on the wrapper the smoke hitting me in the stomach ... if you don't wanna party don't bother ...
00.39am 17.04.13.
and since when are pop stars not shagging their teenage fans and groupies ...
bit of a hornet that one ...
