how would Donald Trump like it 
if somebody slapped his daughter on the bum ... 

she shouted to me from a car 
we fell out some years back 
she was really big fun 
dangerous and funny 
some people are like that. 
she's a whole lotta trouble 
that could really cause problems 
with your neighbours and stuff 
don't know what I'm gonna do
if she phones ... 

there was this man 
who came to the treatment centre last year 
a celebrity 
he offered us a Mindfulness meditation session 
during which he asked us to make sexual sounds 
and focus on our genitals ... 
this went on for a whole hour 
and then i didnt feel OK 
so my advocate made a complaint about it 

i mean people make jokes and stuff 
but to get that from a professional for a whole hour 
it wastn very appropriate 
and there was one schizophrenic man 
he becaume quite out of control afterwards 
and now i can't speak to him 
because he just lost the ability to communicate with me. 

so he didnt come back 
but now he is teaching our other staff 
in how to teach Mindfulness 
and to be honest i think they are a bit star struck

i mean if it had happened on a hippy camp 
like the green gathering i wouldn't have minded 
but in a treatment centre with people with schizophrenia ...

200217 

the building work next door,

the dog barking the other side
the rail strike
support worker withdrawing
psychiatrist wants me to come off lorazepam
a close friend died
and the usual pressures of coping with my brother ... 

the pedophiles dog
barked all the way through my phone call ... 

19.30 

whats the point of it all ? 

the pain stabs me in the stomach 
bursting the dam
as the flood gates break down 
with the force of rushing water 

song : all these tortured souls

140217 1pm 

Happy Valentines 
maybe if i hadnt cheated so much 
you'd be here 
still here with me 

all these tortured souls 
reaching out for me 
and they think that I'm stuck up
because i feel better 
its so painful to leave them 
im drowning in quicksand ...