151017 

angry 
this abominable pain 

I've lost control 
n i can't fix it 
the silence is deafening 

the terror and emptiness 
of being alone 

i feel so stupid 
everybody else
knows what to do 
is this some sort of punishment ? 

n its my fault 
if things go wrong 

121017 

i was in love with a spy 
from US military intelligence 
this is where things get really tricky 
because I'm hitting the jackpot ... 

n now theyre after us. One of them showed me 
the story of Barbara Palmer. They're not exactly military men 
but just Machiavellian . N Im in deep water here 
this is why they medicated me ... 

n next thing you know , 
she's put up a post 
with the dates falsified ... 
Lady who ? 

i reckon he's a bit depressed. Probably didnt get enough 
attention as a child. 

Judge not lest ye be judged, it says in the Bible. So does 
that mean we can't judge Donald Trump ? we can't judge him 
and we can't judge Isis either. And yet they are all murdering terrorists. 
im frightened to write this because of what happened before. 
But now you have an audience. Even people with audiences
can be disappeared . 

next thing you know you're in a  wheelchair ... 

111017

my head 
is a roiling cauldron of funk

n i wandered around graveyards 
during the night 

121017

its got a bark like a chainsaw 
n its kept muzzled 

but now I've got the Jane Austen card 

song : dark glass windows version 3

i have no-one to talk to
and no friends

a turmoil of feelings
has burned hole
in my brain

grab the key
while he's asleep
fast as you can

struggle with the lock
or you will be killed
you can't afford
to make a mistake

its a lonely road
in a van
with dark glass windows
you can't see out

i slammed a door
it was all too much

hard times, trauma,
in these times of shock ...

carrying all this pain 

they're too busy being thin
you'd have to be pretty shallow 
to want to stay in this world 

i dug some treasure 
out of this abominable mess