jupitersterrain four

an is painful to exist 

like to tear open my own flesh and let you 
see my wound and to gulp with fear 
at the sheer nothingness of me 

just a bag of bones that is willing to receive 

that stuff about you moving house 
struck me awesomely why 
that particularly 

a real person telling me about himself 
the sheer magnificence of our
gruesome flaws 





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thing about self depreciation is it goes a long 
way to make a chilled atmosphere 
tha i feel relax in 

2 undo tha performance ego 

how did i not notice i was thinking 
where is his self depreciation and you already did that 

this is weird how i don't notice 
what i am looking for 





00.39

he would say it smells like a cat has been
in here and indeed there was for i had
evern less vocabulary 
than i do now 


i used to wee in the bin 
at my dads house and i don't 
actually know why that was i must
have felt like i didn't want to leave my room 

nor do i remember feeling wary 
of him it must have been going on underneath 



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actually i just spotted your self depreciative 
thing for the first time ... 

is what i was looking for ... 
starting to wonder if anyone had one ... 


**********

an you wonder when to do it 
just sometimes 

*********

John has a self depreciative side 
its not really followed through you know its like a big deal for him 

*********

once you get in the habit it comes natural 

like my crappy clothes that cashew has kindly pointed out to me 
after ogling my birthday suit 

why can't a gorgeous young nymph be satisfied with her 
own dummys rattles and clitoris ...