word jam : the limerance match

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this passion i feel 
is getting too much
if I'm not careful 
i will injure myself  
i must find a way 
to pull out and stop digging 
n my heart explodes 
i am possessed

n then i keep turning round 
to see if he's impressed
with my detachment 

see how the match is going 
there isn't a match 
there are no players 
and nothing to play for 

limerance  

are English people pretentious ? 

slut shaming 

maybe we're both too insecure 

crossing the line 
was like crossing into an alternate reality 

love makes me feel sick 

love is exhausting 
and more love 
is more exhausting 

maybe the bad spirits 
are not all bad 

so the character i just spoke to 
is my ex ? 

and now my date is annoyed 
when we havent even said we're dating  
let alone a couple ? ! 

assumptions meh   
and I'm not a mind reader ! 

are we waiting for each other 
to show our hand ?   
with so much at stake 
and remembering what happened before    
so painful    

and they have all masks on  

what will i do with his love ? 

if he is just taking some space 
he can have as much space as he likes  

really confused !

need a non critical presence 

its not us 
its the relationship that is smothering us 
the overwhelming feelings 
have led to a shut down 

angel wishes to him 

and then as usually happens with me  
his ex partner turns up