3.16am
SOMEONE HAS JUST LOGGED OUT OF HERE
the harpie Nic and cloud clockwork and bisto are not welcome to read my blog or use me in any way , there are thoughts in your own head huns
4.57am
i did experience some of that killer emotion
for longer than i anticipated
2.04am
thankyou Scary im not sure i have any confidence today
i mean i might be a bit naff today
all fingers n thumbs
i mean i feel a bit damage and stuff
************
3.20am
i decided to disrupt that one
cus i start off enjoying myself ... um alot
and then it veers off into some kind of expectation thing
tha i need to break the habit
an also joseph fritzle is assaulting me with chemical gas too
in fact i should maybe cut the time in half
unless there is some particular reason
*************
3.46
my negatives have hollow empty eyes
they are saying that you welcome giving the gnostic film to cashew
and that my family with claim my body
an is painful to exist
like to tear open my own flesh and let you
see my wound and to gulp with fear
at the sheer nothingness of me
just a bag of bones that is willing to receive
that stuff about you moving house
struck me awesomely why
that particularly
a real person telling me about himself
the sheer magnificence of our
gruesome flaws
*****************
thing about self depreciation is it goes a long
way to make a chilled atmosphere
tha i feel relax in
2 undo tha performance ego
how did i not notice i was thinking
where is his self depreciation and you already did that
this is weird how i don't notice
what i am looking for
00.39
he would say it smells like a cat has been
in here and indeed there was for i had
evern less vocabulary
than i do now
i used to wee in the bin
at my dads house and i don't
actually know why that was i must
have felt like i didn't want to leave my room
nor do i remember feeling wary
of him it must have been going on underneath
***********
actually i just spotted your self depreciative
thing for the first time ...
is what i was looking for ...
starting to wonder if anyone had one ...
**********
an you wonder when to do it
just sometimes
*********
John has a self depreciative side
its not really followed through you know its like a big deal for him
*********
once you get in the habit it comes natural
like my crappy clothes that cashew has kindly pointed out to me
after ogling my birthday suit
why can't a gorgeous young nymph be satisfied with her
own dummys rattles and clitoris ...
like to tear open my own flesh and let you
see my wound and to gulp with fear
at the sheer nothingness of me
just a bag of bones that is willing to receive
that stuff about you moving house
struck me awesomely why
that particularly
a real person telling me about himself
the sheer magnificence of our
gruesome flaws
*****************
thing about self depreciation is it goes a long
way to make a chilled atmosphere
tha i feel relax in
2 undo tha performance ego
how did i not notice i was thinking
where is his self depreciation and you already did that
this is weird how i don't notice
what i am looking for
00.39
he would say it smells like a cat has been
in here and indeed there was for i had
evern less vocabulary
than i do now
i used to wee in the bin
at my dads house and i don't
actually know why that was i must
have felt like i didn't want to leave my room
nor do i remember feeling wary
of him it must have been going on underneath
***********
actually i just spotted your self depreciative
thing for the first time ...
is what i was looking for ...
starting to wonder if anyone had one ...
**********
an you wonder when to do it
just sometimes
*********
John has a self depreciative side
its not really followed through you know its like a big deal for him
*********
once you get in the habit it comes natural
like my crappy clothes that cashew has kindly pointed out to me
after ogling my birthday suit
why can't a gorgeous young nymph be satisfied with her
own dummys rattles and clitoris ...
his toddler was driving him nuts
swearing and dark thoughts
sleep deprived
anxious and gullible
00.32am 1.04.13. © Lizarikk
white noise from the appliances
like the loud heartbeat inside the womb
rocking the sea
facilitated by the darkness
nobody comes to hear my cries
an i lie there with my pain all alone screaming
nobody takes away my pain
it shatters the crystal tourmaline
of night in the flickering
candle light licking up the bed
clutching my heart i reach for a blanket
that wraps me like the crib
that holds me in its song as i howl
for a mother long since dead
00.00 1.04.13.
chemical assault very violent
MAYDAY MAYDAY JOHN IS TRYING TO SMUGGLE
compaid
01 May 2013 12:14am
Recommend
0
Road tax on 4 wheel mobility scooters next. IDS has plans.
chemical assault very violent
MAYDAY MAYDAY JOHN IS TRYING TO SMUGGLE
compaid
01 May 2013 12:14am
Recommend
0
Road tax on 4 wheel mobility scooters next. IDS has plans.
SadieStairwell
Is that the breaking dawn shining a light on his shite policies and giving him, or rather his role, a terminal turn? Hope so
YOU ARE A VIOLENT THUG LEWIS GET OFF MY NEIGHBOUSR AND MY MASTURBATION FILMS
YOU ARE A VIOLENT THUG LEWIS GET OFF MY NEIGHBOUSR AND MY MASTURBATION FILMS
29.04.13.
i thought maybe we could have one of these
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rK-NnQ0qrlw
in fact if you look at the Trix relationship it wasn't all in child
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fw4ymI2VMHk
oh exactly the muss is not all about
being childish ...
its a doorway to something else cashew
your too much of a computer nerd
to know what that is
***********
n not all children are noisy or fast ...
or so pushy with their presents
waiting their turn for love and milk
not hitting the other children
19.50
****************
18.38
i think cashew might have thrown her rattle out
of the pram now
****************
and you're bored so your not really in the feeling
with me ... i need someone thats either
a tortoise themself or is a expert
in tortoises ...
n i feel deep down that i don't stand a chance
against this violence
*******************
i mean they delivers the chest infection in order
to give her a chance to get in there
is why i am saying
17.36
the emotion has gone
again they just gave me another
chest infection and told me that you
are bored and that cashew is preparing
somehting for you ... i feel as if I've got to
hurry up to get there first which is not helping ....
and they've got that word ...
its a shame i can't hear it myself is it possible
to mix it into a track or something
****************
an is easy to black out and get pulled
out by a wave
n how 2 stay conscious
14.07
i dunno Scare if i jump in there i might black out
i was thinkin of familiarisin myself firs
13.33
what was that word Scarey it was something like
horseshoe or ox yoke
irritation , trees
sever saw plough
n i wan that word real bad
grate
farming tool beginning with s
acrimony, animosity, annoyance, antagonism, blow up, cat fit, chagrin, choler, conniption, dander, disapprobation, displeasure, distemper, enmity, exasperation, fury, gall, hatred, hissy fit, huff, ill humor, ill temper, impatience, indignation, infuriation, irascibility, ire, irritability, irritation, mad, miff, outrage, passion, peevishness, petulance, pique, rage, rankling, resentment, slow burn, soreness, stew, storm, tantrum, temper, tiff, umbrage, vexation, violence
snit
Related Words displeased, distressed, disturbed, perturbed, troubled, upset; angered, angry, indignant, inflamed (also enflamed), infuriated, irate, ireful, mad, outraged, rankled, riled, roiled, shirty [chiefly British], sore, steaming; bristly, cross, disapproving, huffy, piqued, resentful; bearish, bilious, cantankerous, choleric, churlish, crabby, cranky, dyspeptic, fretful, fussy, grouchy, grumpy, ill-humored, irascible, irritable, peevish, petulant, snappish, snuffy, testy, touchy; badgered, bedeviled, frustrated, haggled, harassed, harried, hassled, inconvenienced, persecuted, pestered, pinpricked, plagued, provoked, tested, tormented, tortured, tried
*********
might be something they have deleted from the blogs
its what you said to me last summer
when i didn't know who you were .... its just one word
i feel its important for us to claim it as
someone else might be holding it
and there are various reasons i put it up ...
i think the fib mithg be harbouring it
the Portuguese are not Sufis they must
have semblant gnostic elements is
where Fox got the moose
n handwriting totally changed there
11.05
the feeling mus be in one of the fault lines
funny i actually didn't know
that people liked it
at the end of the earth you are test on your
ability to stop thinking
so a relationship that wasn't a muss was where i
did nt really open up then or what
tha only stayed on the sexual level
1054am
intereting trying to produce this feeling
its not easy to locate it
like jus saying the words doesnt always go there
an i gotta find out where that is
the muss thing is a place of trust
an surrender
a tender place that its easily shattered
and then loses the suprenatural quality
1045am
did nt really open up then or what
tha only stayed on the sexual level
1054am
intereting trying to produce this feeling
its not easy to locate it
like jus saying the words doesnt always go there
an i gotta find out where that is
the muss thing is a place of trust
an surrender
a tender place that its easily shattered
and then loses the suprenatural quality
1045am
and I'm sitting there with a bunch of social workers then
all skimping on counselling and supervision
with a bitch session free for all ...
and is it worth going there they have lied to us
about non affiliation
10.23
and Lou ... really you are the pits
ask them what they do ... um they don't do anything
apart from watch films of me you silly old bat
no wonder you are so hung up on food and fags ...
they did warn you not to give up the fags cus of your psychosis ...
in fact you might go on some chlorpromazine or something
next time i go to that meeting i will be discussing your
personality disorder ....
all skimping on counselling and supervision
with a bitch session free for all ...
and is it worth going there they have lied to us
about non affiliation
10.23
and Lou ... really you are the pits
ask them what they do ... um they don't do anything
apart from watch films of me you silly old bat
no wonder you are so hung up on food and fags ...
they did warn you not to give up the fags cus of your psychosis ...
in fact you might go on some chlorpromazine or something
next time i go to that meeting i will be discussing your
personality disorder ....
and the chemicals are horrendous in here i am full of
virus and chemicals they are murdering me
because i wont go back to Joseph Fritzle
and Jewel supports this ...
and what chance do i have ... and fear is not helpful
10.08am
i just started getting into it and then the neighbours
dog has effected it so its not really coming
out on tape
they are trying to boot me out of the way
because of Cashews child performances
i am being physically assaulted because of it
and then i start wo wonder if Scarey prefers the other little
girl and whether to pack my paddington suitcase
this is all irrational by the way Scarey early morning
rambling stuff
9.59
Scarey im not meaning to barter with you
it just where its at and sometimes
feelings will transfer without warning
it ws interesting with Loz you got me to stop using
proper names and immediately he was arrested
so my guns do have effect
and now they've made me take aspirin
Scarey how will we go deeper with all these people around
virus and chemicals they are murdering me
because i wont go back to Joseph Fritzle
and Jewel supports this ...
and what chance do i have ... and fear is not helpful
10.08am
i just started getting into it and then the neighbours
dog has effected it so its not really coming
out on tape
they are trying to boot me out of the way
because of Cashews child performances
i am being physically assaulted because of it
and then i start wo wonder if Scarey prefers the other little
girl and whether to pack my paddington suitcase
this is all irrational by the way Scarey early morning
rambling stuff
9.59
Scarey im not meaning to barter with you
it just where its at and sometimes
feelings will transfer without warning
it ws interesting with Loz you got me to stop using
proper names and immediately he was arrested
so my guns do have effect
and now they've made me take aspirin
Scarey how will we go deeper with all these people around
an that was quite a sizeable piece of emotion even
in spite of the scratches
30.04.13.
9.53am
or if i had more than one thing going on emotionally
that would put you at risk
and i have not given expression to that
***********
and this warning signs thing I'm not sure if its real
do you get that probably you do its like the keyboard cord
got stuck in the radiator
and it seems to be saying that my feelings will get stuck
and be difficult to pull out
and these signs are not propaganda
in spite of the scratches
30.04.13.
9.53am
or if i had more than one thing going on emotionally
that would put you at risk
and i have not given expression to that
***********
and this warning signs thing I'm not sure if its real
do you get that probably you do its like the keyboard cord
got stuck in the radiator
and it seems to be saying that my feelings will get stuck
and be difficult to pull out
and these signs are not propaganda
Monday, 29 April 2013
2.45am
she read book tomorrow Scares
need to get into meditation thing and
wonder if that fruit played a part maybe get a small bag
maybe raisins with nutmeg and yogurt
to get the marshmallow dream thing
you remember falling off the pavement into another world
****************
how i get back to where i was is another matter
i don't have a clue
1.04am
omg Scarey thats totally awesomes thankyo
um wondering if i should reduce the episode time
or whether to get off the bus
maybe you don't know yet
an if i see an opportunity to abstain i will grab it by the balls
cus it makes a big difference
*****************
n i says to Rowli that if it was the second wirld war
2 day we would not drop the bomb on
Hiroshima ... cus we do talk a
bit better than that an i ask him to look up racist in the
dicktionary
00.37
i found myself wondering whether Fox was a moose
can't really remember
***********
Scarey said that thing
is there to show how much he
loves me ... n he's going to put words into my mouth
eerie
rich, shadowy, mysteriously suggestive images
something he's seen in reality and can't get out of his mind
a free spirit
his slightly off-centre world
a marshmallow dream
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
************
has cashew got me live again ...
bernard said he was just cutting it out
and that the glue wouldn't come off
that is enough abuse for today
you are not closing that group ...
i am not your unexpected gift maggot you are despised and hated
and i will rip out your ovaries and fallopian tubes
what happened was that Scarey went off to do me a street party
and ogling bernard who is jealous cus i never wanted about
him phone me to distract me
and then cashew went in on the gnostic film Scarey what to do
an actually Scarey has ways of hypnotising things
so hopefully he can cure me of you you revolting little ogling maggot
rich, shadowy, mysteriously suggestive images
something he's seen in reality and can't get out of his mind
a free spirit
his slightly off-centre world
a marshmallow dream
© Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved
************
has cashew got me live again ...
bernard said he was just cutting it out
and that the glue wouldn't come off
that is enough abuse for today
you are not closing that group ...
i am not your unexpected gift maggot you are despised and hated
and i will rip out your ovaries and fallopian tubes
what happened was that Scarey went off to do me a street party
and ogling bernard who is jealous cus i never wanted about
him phone me to distract me
and then cashew went in on the gnostic film Scarey what to do
an actually Scarey has ways of hypnotising things
so hopefully he can cure me of you you revolting little ogling maggot
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2013/apr/29/david-finkling-leaves-random-house
whats this they are thinking of declaring my group a non Alanon group ...
if thats the case i will go to a different one doh ...
Scarey is there any point my doing service if they are going to harass me in this way ?
15.10
did you know about this
and why is dr pants aligning herself with a family of child molesters
this is all about dr pants ...
could she not take herself to meetings instead of harassing me
she meanwhile is siting indoors boozing her arse off
on her benefits in a mould ridden hovel pontificating on other peoples lives
and i just hope that she doesnt have long to live ....
butwhatif
Good luck.
But please take care not to expose these impressionable youth to the many anti-social, ill-mannered, conservative councillors that must exist out that way.
cathy blight will you get out of your mildewed hovel and your bottles of booze and take responsibility for your own sex life just for once in your life why are you aligning yourself with child molesters i am sick and tired of you
oh and who is the aston man when he's at home ...
and when will he start attending the food programme
he used to be really hot ...
and i was abused in her mhuk fellowship where my guru has a lesbian crush on me picks off all my boyfriends trys to rugby tackle her feet under the table
wants to move in and marry me and without my knowing that
i was talking to the fourth gender ...
ewwwwww ..
it is really difficult to behave appropriately i must say
i just can't bear being around her