300319
n these were my formative years
like a baby bird he said
feeding me with his finger
i don't want to do it he said
then ill be just like all the rest of them
the harpie Nic and cloud clockwork and bisto are not welcome to read my blog or use me in any way , there are thoughts in your own head huns
Saturday 30 March 2019
word jam : smouldering anger
300319
you can hear the metal melting
sparking clouds of smoke
the rage of ages
anger smouldering in the embers
a branch from the tree of life
we are actually quite bad mannered
as a nation, unceremonious, assuming
I've loved you more
than anyone he said
when they knock you down
i will be there to catch you
n i was pretty horrible too
inappropriate behaviour
he used her vulnerable points
her weaknesses
to break her heart
n what more in the name of art
said he wanted
to get a reaction out of her
caffeine is the new alcohol
i fell in love
with the love that he had
like a fire it was
the flickering flames
of adrenaline in the conflict
beating each other
with broom handles, dustbin lids
and panes of glass
despair has its own comfort
when you've given up all hope
sitting on the pavement at 4 am
laughing like a mad man
Friday 29 March 2019
Wednesday 27 March 2019
Tuesday 26 March 2019
Monday 25 March 2019
250319 / 270319
said he wanted
to get a reaction out of me
caffeine is the new alcohol
i fell in love
with the love that he had
like a fire it was
the flickering flames
of adrenaline in the conflict
beating each other
with broom handles, dustbin lids
and panes of glass
despair has its own comfort
when you've given up all hope
sitting on the pavement at 4 am
laughing like a mad man
said he wanted
to get a reaction out of me
caffeine is the new alcohol
i fell in love
with the love that he had
like a fire it was
the flickering flames
of adrenaline in the conflict
beating each other
with broom handles, dustbin lids
and panes of glass
despair has its own comfort
when you've given up all hope
sitting on the pavement at 4 am
laughing like a mad man
word jam : Happy Mothers Day
the birds
are talking about the weather
geography
and mating calls
they're nesting
in the outer branches
a beautiful special lady
i feel so much grief for her
and her family
that are like my family
a diplomatic pawn
used for leverage
being assassinated like Diana
why are my own people
holding me hostage ?
so who's the terrorist ?
and where is her baby ?
her squeals of delight
at the antics of her big brother
overwhelmed with emotion
my heart growing to
accommodate the new family member
full to bursting !
is she a prisoner swap ?
why am i being held captive
by my own people ?
who do they want to swap me for ?
n there is plenty coercion goes on
here in the west as well
do they think I'm a terrorist ?
spying on behalf of the disadvantaged ?
n the disadvantaged are holding whom ?
Happy Mothers Day
a diplomatic pawn
used for leverage
being assassinated like Diana
Saturday 23 March 2019
230319
so two things happening online
one is an affair with a married man
and another affair
with someone i consider
to be my partner
n still grieving about Fox
n its brought all these feelings back up
don't tell the groom
but there seems to be room in my heart
n now 30 years later
I'm just starting to understand him
so two things happening online
one is an affair with a married man
and another affair
with someone i consider
to be my partner
n still grieving about Fox
n its brought all these feelings back up
don't tell the groom
but there seems to be room in my heart
n now 30 years later
I'm just starting to understand him
word jam : all kinds of stunts
the sun rose over the battlefield
glinting on the blood
she thought she'd have me for dinner
to stop her getting fat
roll over you old hippie
we want some flower power
n we can't get it from our phones
take that and be grateful
n i gotta stuff down my anger
i think i just got stung
by a wasp
n a very large wasp it is too
n I'm sure he would as much as i
like to keep this online
he took a film
of his childhood sweetheart in bed
and showed it
to the woman he wanted to marry
and thats when Dev appeared
Dev was a magician
who got her to do all kind of stunts
to bring out the magic
putting her at risk of injury
n for real
a beam of light went through her
that made her gasp
the injury
was the only way to complain
about this robotic world
n who's the mad one
n you'd be all cool
chatting up the dudes
only to remember
the warmth of Scarey arms
lifting you up
to show you his insects !
n Scarey n i were childhood sweethearts
he was everything to her
lets make an epidemic of love
please help us
to grow our garden of love
with seeds spreading on the wind
Scareys seashell telephone
n there was Scarey
running up the beach
carrying our latest child
a pebble or a piece of seaweed
n Scarey n i would sleep outside
in a tent
so that we could guard
the rocks and shells and pebbles
and pieces of seaweed
n it was all crunchy
Thursday 21 March 2019
210319
lost in the maze of life
which came first
the chicken or the fox ?
but Scarey doesnt like to feel
that he's hurt someone
and in fact he did
what he thought best
given instructed by alien intelligence
n she was waddling up the beach
with all shrapnel n barbed wire
in her beak
just a piece of flotsam
or a falling log
there is intelligence going on
of which we know nothing
after you !
is that supposed to be clever ?
a diplomatic pawn
used for leverage
moral compass
versus celebrity and power
tearing down bridges
and building walls
54 years of rage
my father is displeased with me
i can't express my anger
or there will be an apocalypse
n you could be killed for that
so if Boris told you to jump off a cliff
would you do it ?
500 million for her ?
pretty sure
we'll be spending that on weapons
210319 and archives from 2013
he took a film
of his childhood sweetheart in bed
and showed it
to the woman he wanted to marry
and thats when Dev appeared
which came first
the chicken or the fox ?
n you'd be all cool
chatting up the dudes
only to remember
the warmth of Scarey arms
lifting you up
to show you his insects !
n Scarey n i were childhood sweethearts
he was everything to her
he took a film
of his childhood sweetheart in bed
and showed it
to the woman he wanted to marry
and thats when Dev appeared
which came first
the chicken or the fox ?
n you'd be all cool
chatting up the dudes
only to remember
the warmth of Scarey arms
lifting you up
to show you his insects !
n Scarey n i were childhood sweethearts
he was everything to her
Wednesday 20 March 2019
word jam : another person got hit by a train
what is the purpose of death ?
sorry i didnt mean to upset you
its all in the maths
ideas of reference
delusions of grandeur
n we're in uncharted waters
nobody will ever
be as exciting
emotional resilience ?
it just makes really good art
yes but i don't really know
if this is really happening
you're just my type thats all
a notch on the bed post
n he's actually more vulnerable
than i am
all my boyfriends
had a feminine side
not too much testosterone
all poets in their own way
but yeah
you do have a special child within ...
looking up at the moon
n there was all the wealth
you'd ever need
honourable ?
keep telling yourself that
sometimes you have go out
with people you don't like
out of pure irritation
ANGER
i felt things id never had
bewitching miracles
and the heart grows fonder
n that was the last time i gave my heart
his wife is like a ray of sunshine
took me weeks
to win back her trust
she was drawn to him
because of how much he hurt her
Tuesday 19 March 2019
190319
emotional resilience ?
it just makes really good art
yes but i don't really know
if this is really happening
you're just my type thats all
a notch on the bed post
maybe i need to have a male side
n he's actually more vulnerable
than i am
all my boyfriends
had a feminine side
not too much testosterone
all poets in their own way
but yeah
you do have a special child within ...
emotional resilience ?
it just makes really good art
yes but i don't really know
if this is really happening
you're just my type thats all
a notch on the bed post
maybe i need to have a male side
n he's actually more vulnerable
than i am
all my boyfriends
had a feminine side
not too much testosterone
all poets in their own way
but yeah
you do have a special child within ...
Monday 18 March 2019
Sunday 17 March 2019
170319, and archives from 2013
lets make an epidemic of love
please help us
to grow our garden of love
with seeds spreading on the wind
his wife is like a ray of sunshine
took me weeks
to win back her trust
she was drawn to him
because of how he hurt her
Scareys seashell telephone
n there was Scarey
running up the beach
carrying our latest child
a pebble or a piece of seaweed
n Scarey n i would sleep outside
in a tent
so that we could guard
the rocks and pebbles and pieces of seaweed
n it was all crunchy
lets make an epidemic of love
please help us
to grow our garden of love
with seeds spreading on the wind
his wife is like a ray of sunshine
took me weeks
to win back her trust
she was drawn to him
because of how he hurt her
Scareys seashell telephone
n there was Scarey
running up the beach
carrying our latest child
a pebble or a piece of seaweed
n Scarey n i would sleep outside
in a tent
so that we could guard
the rocks and pebbles and pieces of seaweed
n it was all crunchy
Saturday 16 March 2019
word jam : spaffed up the wall
I am being assassinated
being held captive
by a bunch of barbarians
coercive control
pretty sure we'll be spending that money
on weapons
swirling around feeling dizzy
needing to lie down
micro aggressions, coercive control
attitude ? character flaw ?
maybe this time
she could make him see
what he was doing to her
I've got unfinished business
with more than one person
no flashing lights today
but afterward
sometimes its just all too much
and drift away
self harm was just to feel something real
if Dev had told me to jump off a cliff
then i would have done
spaffed up the wall !
Friday 15 March 2019
Wednesday 13 March 2019
Saturday 9 March 2019
word jam : burning my hands
my soul dying within me
he's found all my
emotional weaknesses
and used them for effect
he's ready to move on
n i feel more
when you're on your own
you can concentrate
on your feelings for the other person
rather than their feelings for you
listening to the music
of the stars
he reminds her
of her alcoholic father
n maybe this time shed have a chance
to put things right
can you help me
this hot potato
is burning my hands
tracking is fracking
apocalypse Britain
Brexit is a golden opportunity
for them to wipe out
100 years of history
and all the human rights
that people fought for
to ride roughshod
over the disabled
man is that Brexit
gonna kill a few people
Friday 8 March 2019
word jam : ghosted
n you've ghosted out of his life
so what happens
when your partner
has a fantasy about someone else
n suicide is all the rage
people have been known
to die from very intense love
the impact on your organs
of Kundalini or Firebreath
n now we got all this knife crime
n i got cramp in my leg
show my face or i die
his having a partner and a child
makes him all the more interesting
so easily becomes
emotional infidelity
n just to remind you
I've got choppy emotions
n nothing stays the same
n my therapist says
that I've just imagined it all
because I'm just isolated thats all
like an imaginary friend
or a celebrity crush
n forever is a long time
actually some people
have one partner on the internet
and one in real life
I'm trying to find a way out of this
that doesnt harm us both ...
n he's my Bradley Cooper
n the Trixy
is also into antar yoga
n so is Fox
its OK I'm just your friend
k so it hurts to be rejected
but glad ure OK
its OK cus this is just online
leaving no trace
n its OK this is not really happening
just paw prints on the internet
painted hands
n you're really lucky
if its just porn
my muse
n this is just art
n there was some
pizza on the road
either side
a blood stained glove
Thursday 7 March 2019
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