word jam : spaffed up the wall

I am being assassinated 

being held captive 
by a bunch of barbarians 

coercive control 

pretty sure we'll be spending that money 
on weapons 

swirling around feeling dizzy 
needing to lie down 

micro aggressions, coercive control 

attitude ? character flaw ? 

maybe this time 
she could make him see 
what he was doing to her 

I've got unfinished business 
with more than one person 

no flashing lights today 
but afterward

sometimes its just all too much 

and drift away 

self harm was just to feel something real 

if Dev had told me to jump off a cliff
then i would have done 

spaffed up the wall !