word jam : The Death of the New Age

people are always boasting about their tax islands
i cant belive thats only a few people
 
what can i put in a forbidden fruit pie ?
spanish oranges brie grapes 
yoghurt , chocolate ,
raspberries strawberries redcurrents

so the new age was building up for a long time , for about six decades
people were freedom fighters , there was the swinging 60s
there was Woodstock and Glastonbury
there were peaceful demonstrations , online petitions
and then there was Extinction Rebellion
people gluing themselves to the pavements
in defence of Mother Earth
feeling an amazing energy pass between them

and now there is the New Order
with people all working from home, banking online
and doing everything at home
its all zoom meetings and banking
and keeping away from other people
its all sanitised and clinical when you go into shops
the New Age has been wiped off the face of the earth
 
stare into the moon
and see who you really love most 

but also perhaps guys need some assistance sometimes
rather than having to be the hero all the time

the Clint Eastwood taking the blows from the ladies
maybe they've had enough of it
surely its simples to just not separate families at the border
why is that even a debate ? 

i was doing my course homework
while sticking my beak in here 

or a loud grunt 

when the toothpaste is stuck 
 


why do they have to join two teabags together in the first place !
 
strong witchcraft strong insecurities strong negging

as I went through my front door 
my brain said to me ' you're scum ' !!! 



where does this even come from ?


I don't even remember being told that by anyone 



i was slapped in hosptial 3 times by women actually
one time on the bum which i complianed about
that woman kept trying to touch me when i went past
 
then I might talk about it to my therapist
and realise that I don't want to cheat on him
but its like I'm closer to my therapist than the boyfriend ha ha

when I was admitted to hospital in 2013
I thought I was arrested as a spy
and that all the other patients were either spies
or people there to spy on the spies !

I thought there were celebtities after me
and I would shout at the up to the ceiling



I had a Zimmer frame at one point in hospital due to an injury 


we put music on in the lounge and did crazy dances 


I waved my Zimmer frame in the air !

because the contents of my head
wil always be enough to put someone off !
 
i think if you set your sights firmly on your dreams
you will know what to say to your old boss
 
i never see the owls only hear
they turn up very very late here , like 2 am or something

next time i will listen harder to see what they are saying ! <
 
arent yous just gettting revenge on men
for what other men have done ? 
 
 feeling each others hands
the fear of coming unstuck 
 
incredibly intimate sexual minds
concentrating on the details  
able to let go 
im not going to respond to that !
 
tearing through me like a wheel of fire
 
the way to redeem a woman is to give her a baby ?
i dont think so some how !
 hes not coming from a patriarchal hierarchy  

n so peaceful after
like Lennon and Yoko

make sex not war

 ive done the teabag test where work is concerned
 
sometimes i buy mens clothes
for that boyfriend jumper feeling
 
imagine you are standing in warm spring sunshine 

outside 
in a nice place 


and the sunshine is going first into your heart 


and then spreading throughout your body 

is what love feels like
 
a new me every day ! is what recovery brings me
when ive turned over another stone
there are worms and insects and i dig further ...

not kiss n tell
lay back and think of England ? 

and i wonder what she thinks of Abraham Lincoln ?
 
we sprayed Donalds Trumps
with peach scented air freshener
and after shave 

like a subterranean lake
lit by shafts of light 

apparently im good at making pizza
although i have never offered to

and I've not opened a dvd package


a bull in a china shop
smashing my chandelier

i imagined number two was my husband
and i was cheating on him with number six

we were in the dining room
at my grandpas house
under the chandelier
he gets me on the table
and then the velvet sofa

my screams smash the crystals 
an explosion of colour and light

magic is made of contrasts
make sex not war

and they thought i was submissive !

im completely flattened 
a bit queasy and sick
 
 its difficult to walk afterwards