word jam : posh girl falls for werewolf

 The algorithms
n yeah i did talk about hiring a hit man to kill me
so my family could get the inheritance !  
Ill be reporting words like spastic and retard, nobody has thought of that apart from me
people are all too happy to get bounty by abusing the disabled
I said Dorothy hepworth and Patricia preece were lovers and Patricia married Stanley Spencer for security on the condition he could ' join in '
I don't think it worked out because only one of Patricia's artworks survived ...
Not that im in love with a woman , I mean that he was an undercover cop

The g spot gives a different vibration and is much coveted
By both men and women
There are ways of exploring it
Even enjoying a shower can be sexual

Mental illness is like getting high and never coming down again

Always alone standing before a monster trying to sweet talk it
The monster may turn friendly but it's all on his terms
Sex is mind altering  

Ive overheard men talking when I wasn’t there
Why do women smell of fish , do they piss out of their vaginas ?
27 is quite old for a filly , she’s a right little goer
That ones too easy gis us a strawwwwberry

Sometimes I would sit with them to see how much I could take
There’s always more to find out about yourself

I often buy a new vibrator because I break them
And some of them get noisy

they had a fight down an alley way ,
 all this talk of drugs and violence ,
and the guy with the chain won this one

My book will be called The love bomber :
narcissism and violence in the 1980s

There’s a sword hanging in the air
In a cave with blue sheets of rain
Explodes and bits of stalactites
Luminous green icicles
N shells and things all going flying
The light reflecting itself like a sheet of air
Making a guillotine mask on the beach

I gasped at that flash of light
My mother thought the radiators were bugged
By Scottish Celts

You look like moon light
I did a painting of you which was admired

Alcohol sometimes puts me into a threesome fantasy
My young neighbours are in the garden having
A laugh about the Paralympics
And people with no arms or legs

N yeah you did make me feel suffocated on one occasion
A relative was watching

difficult for me to understand that i didnt deserve the abuse .
i was quite a nasty piece of work at the time, bitchy and very beautiful , making cutting put downs, stuck up that kind of thing 
In those days fighting was a display of passion
N now I treat other people for trauma

Unique angle ? Posh girl falls for a werewolf and his abuse is what made her what she is
and highlight mental health , the zeitgeist , the music ,

k so for me drug highs were nothing compared to thrill seeking highs , some of them dangerous and destructive in my younger years , danger and violence lots of adrenalin

in my childhood you werent anybody unless you were getting divorced or living in sin
He had traits of hippy ness , but a very clean one , very straight edge , an emo kid with an anorak , thats where i get the geek thing from , i really didnt expect to fall from him he wasnt my type

and the squats ? we had people from the streets , people of all races , guitars , percussion instruments , practically open door
and people trying to ' guru ' us , older people , we didnt seem to be afraid of anybody , made up beds for them, shared our food , smoked dope together
and i would get violently sick , not sure if it was because of the hygiene or some kind of spiking , i remember people putting their hands on my back to heal me as i screamed in sickness

brushes with death i thnk mostly around Simon , being chased with a pane of glass , being locked into his flat , threatned with scissors ive often felt close to death and found it comforting
the zeitgeist was that everybody was fighting , there were drugs but id say that fights and arguments were more the in thing at the time , swearing , shouting , angst, drama , soap operas going on , intrigues , infidelities that sort of thing
but yes we had some good parties, doing freak out dances, the others standing in a circle while one person lets rips

We're one of those cultures with embarrassed politeness but also extremely rude and offensive we are , unceremonious
 N those days I was more into the journey than the destination
I wasn’t bothered if I didn’t arrive id just sort it out later
in a squat when you have to gobble up your plate of food quickly before someone else asks for it  , then tells you youre ' tight ' for not giving it up

there was a saxophone player waited about four days for me once ! 

K so you're down to your last tenner , your boyfriend is chasing you with a pane of glass and you've got to get on a train with no money

And a voice boomed out you have been seen jumping over the ticket barrier
N running and running into London with no clue where I was going , not a good runner. I found superhuman strength from the adrenalin , I could suprise a man with how strong I was

It took me two years to get him into bed
The earthy sensuality of bohemian life sofas draped with purple and marooon
Velvet throws rooms dimly lit in the day time , smell of wine and cork
Trippy wallpaper with huge flowers an atmosphere of sin

the backpack used to carry supplies that id looked up in an SAS suvival manual
including a pen knife and everything wrapped in plastic

i seem to have bitten and scratched him today ! Guess I'm like a smelly rescue cat with trust issues

Drugs were  nothing compared to coming off them with my straight edge boyfriend ! and the ensuing awakening , the surge of energy up the spine , deepening perception of colours and sounds , and a flash of lightening , similar but much more intense than an acid trip

not sure if it was the adrenalin from our fights . When we were not fighting we'd be running through the streets laughing , playing music and madly in love . There was nobody else , no game playing with other lovers , just each other

that day we carried candles through the streets wishing strangers a happy Christmas . the world wasnt ready for us

I had a conversation in the sex shop said I'm exploring the g spot, and therefore don't want the rabbit ones , she said its just round the corner as you go in , which I agreed with
Some of the vibrators are like a large crochet hook to dig into the g spot
Last time I saw that lady she didn't open up but has now got into the spirit !
Actually I was most horny during the change
With much bigger climaxes and those trippy ones where the sky goes black and you're thrown off the bed , there was one person in particular that triggered them
There's a kind of force field from the collective trauma
a roiling cauldron of trouble
i had a pattern of lusting for a guy , lacking confidence and then getting off with his friend
some men would say no which would impress me. they were interested but not sure , not ready ,

I hugged a serial killler in the secure unit
He was on the run
At one point I had two periods a month