jupitersterrain four

author history ...

7.57, 1.08.12.  



my resentment of the author started I think when I wanted to go out with Fritzle and she said that he had 'unfinished business' with another lady ... when it was well known that this other person was doing her friends husband ... you know and the advice being delivered in a matronly sort of way as though you were expected to obey it  ... and although I had previously enjoyed her company I found at that point that my feelings for her as a friend were not all that strong once she started trying to lay down the law in my life ...

and from then on she appeared to have a problem with any of my love interests ... for instance with that internet affair of four years ago ... Id go for coffee with her and be treated to pointed remarks about how much she likes cats ... 

the Fritzle thing started about 10 years ago now I think or thats when it was in the pipeline ... so maybe that was a point where she had started to mark me out as her own. And stuff like at my party at the end there was just her and my brother left and I felt as though she wanted him to leave ... you know ... in my home ... trying to see off other guests ... and where I might have had her to stay over I then didn't feel like it ... 




8.23am  , 1.08.12.   

you know and prior to that I thought she was quite cool ... we'd talk
about facilitation and stuff I thought she was someone that 'accepted you as you were' ... so I don't know what happened for that to suddenly change from unconditional to a sort of dictatorship I felt ...