i don't really know what a good friendship or relationship is supposed to look like
and so often things are not what they appeared to be when they started out ...
like the guy i got involved with last year ...
he visited me in hospital , you know, he was a big help to me
and then when i had a physical relationship with him
he got out that amyl nitrate stuff
and i never would have guessed ...
i wasnt really in love with him either was another problem with it
but i thought he seemed really nice, even maybe a bit boringly so
life seems to be a mire of illusions at times
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