jupitersterrain four

190915 4pm 

is my thrill seeking another addiction ? 

a non sexual high ... 

I like the way i feel afterwards. 

I felt hung over the next morning 

as if i had been drinking and smoking 

theyre so dangerous ... a form of masochism ... 

a violent experience 


my thrill seeking is like a form of gambling 

and you're held in by what looks like a seat belt ... 

that means someone could accidentally undo it and be flung out ... 

I know its dangerous because of the Alton Towers stuff 

putting myself at risk 

made me value my life more ... 


the adrenaline can be addictive ... 

i had to restrain myself 

from going back to the fairground today. 

In case i see something else i need to go on 

i havent recovered yet ...