word jam : life as a hologram

patterns or shape shifters

mmmm anything to mask the pain

hence the word ' vice '
which could be anything really
as long as ive got one !

a vice that has you by the short and curlies

I think hormones get involved with all addictions
n yeah the lockdown has made this worse
I feel disconnected from the flow of heart energy

needing to talk to someone voice to voice 

a feeling of surrendering to the eye of the storm ?



the night time is so magical isn't it
and like you said about the wind
staring at the dark windy trees
makes you feel things,
I dont know, I take my time because I want to feel

forgot to add that i used a toothbrush and cotton buds to paint with
a piece of washing up sponge !

and some burrs and twigs from nature

when i woke up today
i felt as if i was holding a real cat in my arms
stroking its tummy fur

i had a virtual play fight
with a friends cat the night before night ...

the switch doctor
is complaining about spam porn death threats
and also making them


the scolds bridle

hormones can cause teenage tantrums
at any age

maybe i should take more care
to hide where I've been
since alot of the action
happens on the internet these days

we always talk about testosterone fuelled males
and soft gentle women full of oestrogen

forgetting we all have these things
does oestrogen make people more caring ?

im expressing my feelings
in order to pass through them

shit i havent had any children
cus im a fucking artist
and what a fucked up life its been !

i dont know what he sees in me
im just old and fat and in pain ...
and i don't want to be his mother

even with revenge porn
permission was given for the film in the first place !!! 

this seems to happpen on saturdays
people goading and  baiting me about him

I've invested love

the beauty of the universe and nature
is encapsulated by the poetry made about it
and poetry can alter the future of history

is about material derivatives , there is a certain art in the scientists
that work with these things

life as a hologram ?

even in theoretical physics
nobody knows how gravity works
they just know that it works

like the boing of a diving board

so maybe you are in love with one person
and usually your mind is having fantasies about them
then sometimes you have a fantasy about someone else
and I thought why is that ?
maybe a way to cope , to strengthen our mind
so that we dont drown in our love for one person ?