jupitersterrain four

270816  4pm 

I used to be a civilised person, an academic ... 
Ive been disturbed now for 30 years 

it was very passionate and sexual 
I associated sex with violence
And then with power. 
Like somebody has to win ... 
and prove they are better than the other person
and more attractive ... 
a celebrity said when she left her boyfriend ... 
' the winner takes it all ' 

I end up being the one 
who doesnt need them any more ...   People seem surprised when i win
because i don't look very conventional. 

I won all those struggles 
and yet here i am with nothing ...