130824 , 110824 , 100824
This blog is copyright of Lizarikk , the harpies are not welcome to read it, you know who you are
not listening to intelligence in reccovery meetings i mute it
The author can invite me for coffee if she wants . She has millions of friends now worldwide so I expect she's a bit busy
Really pleased for her
As a teenager I'd unscrew the shower head and use the jet on myself
It was much later on I could climax from the g spot
In fact I didn much think about climaxing but more sex as a journey and some of my greatest loves didn't really get me there
Actually I was most horny during the change
With much bigger climaxes and those trippy ones where the sky goes black and you're thrown off the bed , there was one person in particular that triggered them
I think the first g spot climax unfortunately when I cheated on my wonderful steady boyfriend
Apparently I didn't value that as I stayed with the boyfriend
The affair was like a holiday with Eric Satie playing on vinyl
3 guys tried to take my virginity and only the steady one succeeded . One of them looked like Mick Jagger complete with the lips , but I was hopelessly gormless about it and he asked me to put some effort into it !
I thought how can you put in effort without making it fake !
And lust I did for Mick Jagger and Adam Ant , I had posters and videos , and for boys at school when I was eleven
Baby steps
recently i find its z way to relive anger , also to explore feelings and create music
110824
There's a kind of force field from the collective trauma
a roiling cauldron of trouble
Thing about writing though is it happens when I'm painting x
I stayed with my steady boyfriend for 3 years then a relative helped us find a squat . And boy did we have a good time . I'd already got anorexia and probably psychosis
It would be 3 decades later I got the right meds
psychosis is like a drug there is a good side to it
And counselling for ptsd which I should have had in the first place
Although alienated I am steeped in British culture
110824
i had a pattern of lusting for a guy , lacking confidence and then getting off with his friend
some men would say no which would impress me. they were interested but not sure , not ready ,
vey much ... i might have to leave it for about a week ... and yes
and then theres cyber sex ! much bigger climaxes why ? because theres not that self conscious awkwardness and embarrasment you can get in real life i guess
the ' stable guy ' had the sense to try to talk to me about orgasms. itd be 40 years before i was ready for that conversation
course hes happily married now
120824
I was 21 and in a very dire situation ,when suddenly this great clarity, the mozart playing in the room intensifies and this stillness descends with great excitement and colour like a strike of lightening
120824 , Thanks I think you can abuse me as an adult but not till the weekend x
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