4pm

sometimes the whole family emotions thing 

can wipe out your sexual sphere ... 

27th 

a feeling could be a bit random

it doesnt necessarily 'make sense' ... 

6.40am

I have been woken by the neighbours dog

i think as a punishment for discussing the committee on here ... 

and for taking down Enders attack at AA 

we also discussed Megans Law 

and Sarahs Law ... Megan is about publishing details of pedophiles in the area 

where Sarahs is that the public are allowed to access the information. 

I don't think either of them are applicable in Britain.. . 

as far as i know you are not allowed to find these things out

280215 

2pm, news group 

I thought George Bush was too bloodthirsty for me 

but he was not a puppet 

even if someone else wrote his lines 

he was aware of that and would sometimes alter them ... 

21.48

my nephews mother today 

influenced him to cancel his lunch with me and the 5 year old 

I think this decision was committee approved yesterday 

when my neighbour started clapping and cheering while i was on the phone ... 

tonight there seems to be some disagreement at committee level

as Enders sent an actress to spam the AA meeting : 

" fingers trapped in a  car door 

head bashed against a wall, years and years of shit , 

subtle bullying, wife beaters, that seem squeaky clean 

like men who beat up women 

get my pen and paper out

Im character assassinating, bis 

praying x 3

lasts 14 months , parallel things really dig you deep 

fucking not fair, growl, 

my son has been really in a bad way today 

lots of drama , shock, grief, change, "

then she moved to sit behind me 





*********************

so why would the committee approve this ... 

because they want to stop me communicating with Davision

then the international community gets the news and there is more controversy 

00.30am 

someone is posting a throat virus in here 

I think it might be Cashew 

23.42

the baskervilles are making toast fumes 

to dry out my throat and make me cough ... 

possibly in conjunction with Enders 


nb Enders is planning more diverse and surprising attacks on me 

as part of her strategy to get her partner into bed. 

Something which has not happened for some years now ... 



how do i know ? because he is my cyber twin

1.35am

the committee have decide

to have me woken by my neighbours slamming doors 

and how is that when i specifically said 'cover' 

i was not in any way trying to claim copyright 

14.26

Enders is trying to stop me posting 

my singing along to Josh Whites Careless Love 

on Sound Cloud 

she also had me harassed in the Indian restaurant the other day 

and they also insulted the waiter to cause a stir ... 

4pm

Ive got a new friend who is very attentive 

but she doesnt seem to want to talk about sex. 

i don't mind being single but i do want to talk about it ! 

I find sex mind altering

what is wrong with staying turned on ? 

you don't always have to act on a feeling 

13.07

i seem to have been given MRSA from somewhere ... 

this might be a committee decision




later today i was targeted with swine flu 

and possibly another gastric bug 

todays Scrabble story

from today and yesterday 

maybe, bolt, coy, loaf, wiser, oil, nave, hate , rough, 

don, zag, avid, fax, abet, sago 

12.30pm

what are you doing ? 

id like you to keep a distance ... 

me - you were pointing at me 

like you were about to touch me 

JH - thats very invasive Janet 

Janet - you are all against me 

you are a bit touchy 

me - I didn't like it 

19.57

problem loading Amazon UK

am

Lager tried to subscribe to me on YouTube 


I was also targeted with a gastric flu bug 

at my support group yesterday 

i think by the fib 

the woman to the left of me 

5pm 

especially a compensatory bunch 

it was more romantic 

admiring the flowers together in the park 

stopping to smell the roses 

than being given a bunch 

4pm

a bad romance 

is where you are in love with a criminal

living in a van , living in the gutter ... 

my inner record player 

is stuck in a groove

where i ought to be emotionally ... 

ps if things come in threes , how are they not related ? ! 

and how does todays modern feminist 

find herself waiting for flowers ? 

when i was growing up we were all about taking the initiative ! x 

Valentines day

18.28

k and my interpretation 

is that people are still executed for expressing true love 

eg Dodi and Diana ... 




people are also executed for being true to themselves 

and eschewing social conventions 

when it feels false and saying things like poo, wank and fart 

rather than chocolates and roses .... 



and then based on that i invented my own version :

people are still persecuted for expressions of genuine love

for being true to themselves

or for eschewing conventions

just like Orwell described it

so for me Valentines day is a chance to celebrate sincerity

whatever that might be , 

e.g. i was saying some of my most romantic moments happened over beans on toast in a workers cafe

my family had a job to get me out of that relationship as it was violent

but only love could conquer love

and i stayed with him for 10 years

because he had so much love

and love for me is also very unromantic things

like admitting to unfaithful thoughts

selfish motives etc.

the dirty truth behind the stage

is what is romance to me

love Lucie

Valentines day

A common hagiography describes Saint Valentine, as the former Bishop of Terni, Narnia and Amelia, a town of Umbria, in central Italy. While under house arrest of Judge Asterius, and discussing his faith with him, Valentinus (the Roman pronunciation of his name) was discussing the validity ofJesus. The judge put Valentinus to the test and brought to him the judge's adopted blind daughter. If Valentinus succeeded in restoring the girl's sight, Asterius would do anything he asked. Valentinus laid his hands on her eyes and the child's vision was restored. Immediately humbled, the judge asked Valentinus what he should do. Valentinus replied that all of the idols around the judge's house should be broken, the judge should fast for three days, and then undergo baptism. The judge obeyed and as a result, freed all the Christian inmates under his authority. The judge, his family and his forty-four member household (family members and servants) were baptized. Valentinus was later arrested again for continuing to proselytize and was sent to the prefect of Rome, to the emperor Claudius himself. Claudius took a liking to him until Valentinus tried to convince Claudius to embrace Christianity, whereupon Claudius refused and condemned Valentinus to death, commanding that Valentinus either renounce his faith or he would be beaten with clubs, and beheaded. Valentinus refused and Claudius' command was executed outside the Flaminian Gate February 14, 269

18.00






A popularly ascribed hagiographical identity appears in the Nuremberg Chronicle (1493). Alongside a woodcut portrait of Valentine, the text states that he was a Roman priest martyred during the reign of Claudius II, known as Claudius Gothicus. He was arrested and imprisoned upon being caught marrying Christian couples and otherwise aiding Christians who were at the time being persecuted by Claudius in Rome. Helping Christians at this time was considered a crime. Claudius took a liking to this prisoner. However, when Valentinus tried to convert the Emperor, he was condemned to death. He was beaten with clubs and stones; when that failed to kill him, he was beheaded outside the Flaminian Gate. Various dates are given for the martyrdom or martyrdoms: 269, 270, or 273.

There are many other legends behind Saint Valentine, none of them based on historical facts. One is that in the 1st century AD[citation needed] it is said that Valentine, who was a priest, defied the order of the emperor Claudius and secretly married couples so that the husbands wouldn't have to go to war. The legend claims that soldiers were sparse at this time so this was a big inconvenience to the emperor. Another legend is that Valentine refused to sacrifice to pagan gods. Being imprisoned for this, Valentine gave his testimony in prison and through his prayers healed the jailer's daughter who was suffering from blindness. On the day of his execution he left her a note that was signed “Your Valentine"





"Saints are not supposed to rest in peace; they're expected to keep busy: to perform miracles, to intercede. Being in jail or dead is no excuse for non-performance of the supernatural. One legend says, while awaiting his execution, Valentinus restored the sight of his jailer's blind daughter. Another legend says, on the eve of his death, he penned a farewell note to the jailer's daughter, signing it, "From your Valentine."
St. Valentine was a Priest, martyred in 269 at Rome and was buried on the Flaminian Way. He is the Patron Saint of affianced couples, bee keepers, engaged couples, epilepsy, fainting, greetings, happy marriages, love, lovers, plague, travellers, young people. He is represented in pictures with birds and roses"

17.51

Mitchigan has arrived home 

and parked his car outside my window 

he is coughing loudly and banging things 

I feel as if he is trying to 'lock on' to me ... 

23.45

mitchigan is coughing and banging things 

2.30pm 

romance 

is also something you could feel 

about a country or an era ... 


*************

Scrabble story with Penny 

star, tar, talks, road, pegs, daze, hue, ovae, lave, al, third, 

ye, did , sat, cited, po, goo, tim, rom, feet, be 

19.00

the fibs biological attack has given me a chest infection 


and i received these pigeons today

in the morning on tv .... you aint seen nothing yet 

and 2pm driven to suicide from a passer by 

thanx 

18.11

might have to leave it for a couple of weeks ... 

2.30pm

i was pigeoned at the Indian restaurant 

by the Fib ... 

" 66 year old heaven, chilli chicken, 

like a weight watchers meal you end up eating 3 of them 

like an incubator for bacteria

bit of a prison isn't it 

downtime downtime 

till they kick you out 

someone recommended the chilli chicken

later ... 

3.30pm later pigeon 

you can tell she's happy she's listening to the music 

18.06

mitchigan is wheezing and banging things in support of the fibs endeavours 

yesterday they told me to take it as a compliment .... 

nb i also caught a nasty flu virus 

at the Indian buffet where there were alot more people than usual ... 

this has made my head dizzy 

and this peeps ... is how its done ta dah ! 

21.49

they are staging one of their 'Safeguarding Vulnerable Adult' interventions ... 

I am Alexander Litvinyenko and Madeleine McCann ... 

8.30am

Im with Davision 

090215 

I saw the homeless bird today 

about 3pm

she said it was a rook that sheltered under her umbrella 

and that she saw him again recently 

he followed her near the nest where she had left him

it was her birthday and she had been beaten up 

so i gave her £10 

00.05

the biological attacks have caused a patch of cellulitis on my arm 

it is very itchy 

thankyou ... 

I seem to have been given food poisoning from somewhere 

not sure if it was a fib or a committee decision ... 

possibly from cafe nero 

there was also something on the toy cleaner ... 



1.45pm

I was sent an actor pigeon 

to say 'take it as a compliment' 

21.05

she wanted 50% of the business ... 

5pm

and you realise you are going for sexualised images 

because your heart is broken 

and its quite shocking 

when you see this is really real ... 


4pm

i got the food and sex into more of a balance ...

its the intrigue , the emotional gambling,

game playing and fantasy 

is more difficult to overcome 

it makes a more interesting story 

and the plot thickens 



070215 1.35pm 

food so good it hurts

the game was playing her ...  

raw love unshielded 

Scrabble story 290115

eros, worst, kite, road, fear, pew, gloom, plank, 

bowl, dips, spew, diva, teal, map, maze, thee, uva, grunt, 

heh, amaze, exit, blunt, nod, into, fib, nay, jay, dare, be, 

*****************

kite flying we got lost in the worst glooming near a haunted church, 

with creaking planks the wind sounded like a diva. 

We looked at the map to get out of the maze 

it was amazing there was a jays egg making a grunting noise 

but would we dare to crack it with a blunt instrument 

in order to get out of there 

19.21

Mitchigan is making irritating noises 

to stop me masturbating 

it was good to see you today

I was just saying as we had to rush off

that i always seem to end up in a 'triangle'

with my relationships

like there is always unfinished business from previous relationships

loose ends and grief and stuff

I seem to have lost the ability to be just one to one with a man 

like it used to be

like the unfinished business resembles a cluttered home

and am back in therapy , not only because of that

but the family mess also around the loss of my mother

and i find that you are good to talk to

you listen without passing judgment or giving unwanted advice

and these qualities are quite difficult to find

23.33

Cashew 

had lawyers threaten me with medical intervention 

if i should mention her real name again ... 

fancy her being bothered by lil ol me ! 

hopefully its not OK for her to mention her real name again .... 

both my parents 

would get extremely upset 

if they thought we were not enjoying ourselves 

especially on holiday 

if we were not making the most of exploring the venue 

'Ive brought you all the way out here for this ... ' 

it was a sign of the times ! 

surely a thing of the 60s 

that you had a duty to enjoy yourselves ! 

we had to be outdoors enjoying the scenery. 

Gavin was also like this 

that we were not to be indoors with our teddy bear family 

in the depths of Scotland ! 

and that was a value we have carried with us 

like some sort of 'fun ethic' ! 

x 

020215 

vegetables do 2 things : fill you up 

and also help to break down fats 


***************

030215 

you know what its like when someone is trying to compete with you 

its as if they like you while also seeing you as some kind of threat 

as if they have to have an answer for everything 

its also a Sunday thing ... 

12.12 pm

the committee are hoping to torture Davision today 

in order to stop us communicating 

using the vulnerable person card 

when its really about race and stuff ... 









14.27

Im with Davision