paragliding

230617 

who says men age better than women ! 
my depression made me do it 
better than jumping out of a window ! 

n i never asked to be here 

240617 

brace yourself 
for the trauma 
and the PTSD


we jumped off a very steep slope 
the ridge looked like a precipice 

theyre closing in on me 

260617 

i never signed up for this life 
n i used my anger as well 
Ill never come back down
i feel like i just came back from a war 


kind of masochistic 

280617 

my body taut 
the height of stress and tension 
theres more chance 
with a harness and an instructor on board 

paragliding ballet

220617 

the suspense is killing me 
the tension of the string 
and so we're kicking off 

turning in to the wind 
lean to the left, lean to the right,
sit back and enjoy the ride 
attuned to the current 

stamping the turf
n the wind's too light, 
n the wind's too strong 

standing my ground 

paragliding

210617 

swept off my feet 
catching the breeze
in love with the adrenalin 

surrounded ... 
the tug of the ropes
a powerful force pulling backwards
senses hightened 

excited like a child 
even with classical music  

and they mustn't collide ... 

paragliding

200617 , 210617 

the sheer torture of that moment 
i keep re-living the horror ... 

I felt like i was on a broomstick 
in a Harry Potter film !

theres a kind of scuffle
like a rugby scrum
as you try to take off
i went unplugged
so i could experience the ride
the fear was excruciating
a magical feeling

i prayed to the Hindu god of wind
my auntie says that's evil ...

140617 , 150617 

this grinding lump of pain 

theres a knife 

twisting in my stomach 

I am a broken soul 
a massive great scar
n a gaping hole 

would you use toilet paper though
if you were on someones private site ?
or would you just - er - lump it !

not sure what is the dung thing 

he's in there now  
kicking shit
going Im retarded 
and you're talking to me 
like I'm a cunt 

'classy'
as in knows her Jane Austen 

oh this is torture ! 

I looked out to sea 
the world was spinning around me 
n im yanked about 
up 100 ft in the air 

the merciless machine 
wont put me down 
n i can't get off 

looking up a 100 ft pole
is this supposed to be fun ? 

song : my dream

Ill never make it 

where is my adrenaline buzz ? 
how far will i get ? 

we couldn't glide today 

if the wind changes 
I'm on this roller coaster 
i was all psyched up 

n now I'm empty handed 
n have lost control 

living with uncertainty 
oh when will i fly ? 

the fox hunting thing is just staggeringly ignorant ! 
almost as much as Trump's comments about women … 
a world where its ok to abuse women and animals, great ! 

terrorism in France put an end to the anti Trump protests 

which was a real shame, because they were massive , 

bit of a riddle … 

as for flower power

thats how Gandhi won the independence of India ! 

covfefe  ... covert federal federal ... ? 

030617     4pm  and 070617 

pretentiously submissive 

i didnt really enjoy sex so much 
when i was young 
it was just something you did
and riddled with dishonesty 
the same thing could happen to me now 
i just get hypnotised by a relationship 

as I've got older 
I'm more genuine
and my sexual experiences have become more intense

030617    4pm

i find at this group 
i fancied someone once 
but i felt he was too vulnerable 
to disclose it 

another person tried to hit on me 
but that was all fairly amicable 

others have been mildly flirtations 
and that hasn't been a problem
I've had no incidents
and generally feel safe here

a place where you can say pretty much anything ...
funny that because usually 
its all men