240717 

my mother's mental illness
my dad's alcoholism 
and my violent boyfriend 
left me not knowing 
how to talk to people 

the judge is an alcoholic, i.e. not in touch with his feelings, and not all there 


he lists drinking wine as one of his main hobbies ! 

where is the EVIDENCE 

that he no longer enjoys a cuddle in his mother's arms ?

where is the EVIDENCE that he has no quality of life ? 

where is the EVIDENCE that the baby is in pain ?

where is the EVIDENCE that he is suffering ?

i thought we were all about research here in the West

the research could be useful to other babies 

if he is practically brain dead then he would not be too aware of his sufferings.

the burden

170717 / 180717 / 190717 / 210717 

n i just can't walk away 
or wash my hands of it 
like she does 
n i can't duck out 

this terror being all alone 
sitting here on my own 
anger boiling over 
its getting dangerous now 

feeling alienated
like I've lost my soul 

the mental patient 
is getting angry ... 

130717 

n you can't sleep 

cus you're the one on watch 

I catch habits 
from other patients 
like shuffling my feet ... 

when i wanted to kill myself 

i was sectioned and forcibly medicated 

so why not let this baby live ?

the judges are not in touch with their emotions 

I perform alot better 
when there isn't a camera pointed at me 

i think its odd they want to switch off Charlie Gard's life support 
because if an adult is in pain 
they are not usually allowed to end their life 
and yet they can end the life of a baby ? 


also if he is practically brain dead 
then he would not be too aware of his sufferings ? 
in which case it would be also useful to research 
to try out the new treatment in America

also some of the judges sound like alcoholics  

030717 

i hear music in my head 
like an indie symphony  

040717 

light begins to seep 
through the cracks in my mind 


070717

etched on my veins 

i never signed up for this life

n i never asked to be here
so i jumped off a precipice
and theyre closing in on me

tuning in to the wind
lean to the left, lean to the right,

stamping the ground

surrounded ... by
the tug of the ropes
a powerful force pulling you backwards

and they mustn't collide ...

the fear a magical feeling
the sheer terror 

like Puff the Magic Dragon

swept off my feet
catching the breeze
Im in love with the adrenalin

i never signed up for this life
n Ill never come back down

song : flying

my depression made me do it
its better than jumping out of a window !

n i never asked to be here
the ridge looked like a precipice
and theyre closing in on me

the suspense is killing me
the tension of the string
and so we're kicking off

tuning in to the wind
lean to the left, lean to the right,
sit back and enjoy the ride
attuned to the current

standing my ground

surrounded ... by
the tug of the ropes
a powerful force pulling you backwards

and they mustn't collide ...

the fear a magical feeling
the sheer terror of that moment

swept off my feet
catching the breeze
Im in love with the adrenalin

i never signed up for this life
n Ill never come back down