290719 

we'd carry the news 

making alot of energy 

alot of scratch 
like the scratches on my soul 

290719

abuse is what i deserve
cus i am bad 
cus i let them down 

260719 

safeword 

word jam : an injury in an awkward place

to bless someone like that 
you only need 
an occasional touch of your wand 

o don't want to be here anyway
and then I flew !

giving myself space
to feel the feelings 

i have an injury 
in an awkward place 

its a scary place to be 
when you leave behind 
all that you know 

and the earth opens up beneath you 

seduced by abuse i think 
in my case 

i get bullied alot 
and then i try to appease the bully 
until I'm fully hypnotised 

for something to be
really happening 

she broke her chains 

a stand off 
sparking tensions in the gulf 
where a tanker has been seized  

my shadow self 
says bad things to me 

we don't know what to do 
if its not a competition 
a football match at the weekend ! 

somebody offered 
to put me in a film 
i don't know who it was

i feel like my head's going to explode 

being gas lighted 
by an ex boyfriend 

what if this thought 
were not a promise 
not an offer of service 

even from a girl  

I'm doing it all wrong 
like I'm supposed to know what to do 

doing it like in the movies 

sweating 
beating self up 
flogging a dead horse 

260719 

sweating 
flogging a dead horse 

250719 

seduced by abuse i think 
in my case 

for something to be
really happening 

220719 

she broke her chains 

220719 

a stand off 
leads to tensions in the gulf 
where a tanker has been seized 

200719 

somebody offered 
to put me in a film 
i don't know who it was 

190719 

flashpoint in a stand off sparked 

200719 

my shadow self 
says bad things to me 

170719 

we don't know what to do 
if its not a competition 
a football match at the weekend ! 

180719 

i feel like my head's going to explode 

140719 

I'm being gas lighted 
by an ex boyfriend 

130719 

what if a sexual thought 
were not a promise 
not an offer of service 

even from a girl 

120719 

I'm doing it all wrong 
like I'm supposed to know what to do 

doing it like in the movies 

word jam : a cut throat world

is it a cut throat world ? 
dog eat dog ? 

i even failed at failing ! 

shame , disgrace
ugliness, neediness
very unflattering selfie 

i have an injury 
in an awkward place 

he says to maybe give it a little nudge 

unacceptable feelings 
trapped in a hall of mirrors 

and i don't mean faking it 

what if it
were not something we achieve

what if it 
was not a performance
not a competition  

more of a slow burn 

i see a road ahead
it feels like rough terrain 
going up stream in a strong current
a gritty road

i certainly lost my dignity 
on the booster ride 

stinging the sting 

its all my fault 
im a bad person 
i deserve to be punished 

my fickle heart 
is loyal to the truth 

his desperate attempt 
to show his feelings 

he likes to scare me 
to make me feel his pain 
his roar of passion 

do you promise to forgive me  

my buttons have been pushed 
until theyre sore


when a man wears a dress 
it draws attention to what he has

110719 

2020

twitter fault for about 1/2 hour 

120719    00.08

shut out of twitter again 

100719 

a roar of passion 

when a man wears a dress 
it draws attention to what he has 

my buttons have been pushed 
until theyre sore 

090719 

he says to maybe give it a little nudge

090719 

unacceptable feelings 
trapped in a hall of mirrors 

and i don't mean faking it 

what if orgasm 
were not something we achieve

what if sex 
was not a performance
a competition  

more of a slow burn 

080719 

i see a road ahead
it feels like rough terrain 

going up stream in a strong current
a gritty road

i don't seem to have time for sex this week 
does sex have to be a performance ? 

030719 

very unflattering selfie 

i screamed alot harder 
i certainly lost my dignity 
on the booster ride 

020719 / 030719

a faraway look 

the way your senses are heightened 
appreciating the little things at home 

where there are nettles 
there are always dock leaves too 
the grass gets right into your soul 
waiting for hours on the hills 

i first played that song youth hosteling 
at the age of fourteen  

embracing the wind 
the empty space below 

understood weather 
and patterns of thermals