310119 / 010219 

veiled threats 

no bad romance, no excitement 
of chancing on someone 

no nothing left to lose 

an abomination 

300119 

alot of dog barking tonight 

n now they're watching me on Google Earth 
threatening rape 

300119 

300119 

four hours of war games 
gunfire n screaming 

so now they've hacked my internet history 
and built a profile
of which platforms i use 

how can she possibly enjoy it 
if she doesnt have a choice 

open your mouth 
before you open your legs 

we struggle with this ourselves 

to have a voice 

saying what we want to happen 
in the bedroom 

even if we've asked
n sometimes it goes unprotected 

rap song : even as i hold life in my hands

she wants to have a say 

over who she gives her body to 

you're so wrong for me 

but you take my hand 

to show me the lights 

on the fading bridge

n it feel so right 

lets just pretend 

for God's sake 

she threw herself under a horse ... 

the audacity of it 

who does she think she is ! 

n all the child carers

can walk free , free of mom 

k great, so all the people in psychiatric hospitals 

can take up their beds and walk !

can you touch your toes ? 

take a pen out of your pocket ? 

my neediness is not all bad 

if someone gains remote access 

to your computer 

can they tamper with a pdf ? 

they might delete a jpeg 

but i don't think they can alter it 

too busy to think 

too tired to feel 

8 quid for a light bulb 

n verbal abuse from my brother  

n im dozy, like a buzzy bee

his pain is contagious 

emotional prostitution if you will  

after paying for broadband 

i can't afford to use the phone 

hence why I'm here 

i got my head in the clouds 

n i can't concentrate 

in a permanent state of shock 

270119 

n you can get out of your skull on caffeine 

rap song : under the glass floor

260119 

so where were we ? 
i knew because 
people were uploading my drafts
just seconds before me 

like who wants to hear 
a man talking about his balls 

expressing a sexual thought 
is seen as a pitch 

everything stops 
with a kind of reverence 

n I'm under the glass floor 
unable to buy or sell  

im not responsible 
for his behaviour 

even if  A WOMAN IS TALKING ABOUT SEX 

rap song : surveillance

250119 / 260119 

am i the temptress 
is it my fault ? 

i got skinny bitches 
takin a pop at me 

they are so hungry 
they just want some chocolate

they positioned the satellite 
so they could see into my bedroom 
n with infra red 

did they hear me doing that
through the microphone  

n you would not believe 
who was watching 

or am just nuts 


i mean i wouldn't mind flirting 
with someone who is single
but then they don't seem to know 
where to stop

sex destroys friendships, families, marriages
whats to like ?

so anyway this is why in 2013 
i injured myself  

rap song : data ownership

the moon is eclipsing the stars 
my doctors think I'm nuts 
n maybe im a bit scruffy and weird 
maybe emotionally retarded 

though they admitted 
that hacking is a problem 
not sure if they can tamper 
with a pdf 

can they access my computer, television, phone ? 
my recording device ? 

sexuality 
is a thing to be medicated 
i find i need to do it twice 

embarrassing 
not sure if I'm single or not 
i have a partner online 
who i havent met 

n is it unfaithful 
to flirt online ? 

inappropriate  
what about my friend 
i have no shame 

apparently he spends alot of his time 
upstairs on his own 

didnt even fancy him actually 
just seemed like a fun thing to do 
n im desperate 

sexuality is the root of all evil 

wednesday morning 

Hacking alert ! 

220119 / 230119 

we all have dark thoughts 
i find i need to do it twice 

embarrassing 
not sure if I'm single or not 
i have a partner online 
who i havent met 

n is it unfaithful 
to watch online porn ? 

inappropriate flirting 
what about my friend 
i have no shame 

apparently he spends alot of his time 
upstairs on his own 

didnt even fancy him actually 

just seemed like a fun thing to do 

n im desperate 

sex is the root of all evil 

rap song : monkey dust

i failed at housework 
i failed at recycling 
i make alot of food waste 
i use alot of water and soap 

monkey dust 
my guilt is like a  broken leg 
because of mummy 
i try to stand up for myself
and its like walking on a fracture, 
which buckles under me

n I'm old 
my injection is due on tuesday 

this is a song that I'm not singing 

man do i feel ill 
its just this world 
n you can write like Shakespeare 

ten years being called an English bastard 

whacked round the head 

n to top it all 
i met Fritz 
in the mental health day care centre ! 

or am i a whistleblower ? 
is someone just messing with my head ? 

k so we've gone over there 
we've taken slaves
we've taken gold 
n we've taken statues

how do we repay the debt ? 

rap song : the masked ball

the moon is shining 
through thick cloud 
keep left 

im a good little girl
highly strung, intolerant 
a control freak 
goody two shoes 

man is that Brexit 
gonna cost some lives
n Grenfell still burns 

she called me a cry baby 
silencing my voice
or maybe that was Fritz
n now i can't express my feelings 

c'mon and the rest ! 

sleep walking 
ghosted , flighty .... 
most people are not who they said they were 
its a masked ball 

n now theres people tracking me on Google Earth 
beautiful art but what does it all mean ? 
its all about chii 

then if there is no response 
they delete the piece they want 
and make it theirs 

she said it was public domain
and she needed to find out 
if anyone was owning it 

you get about one nights notice  

why did the police kick the door in 
if there was a window open ? 

k so apparently 
i have paranoid schizophrenia 
which is a bit weird 
considering how much i know about you 

n I'm about to be assassinated 

17.20 pm 

i have a feeling somebody 
might be about to hack ... 

archives from 2013

8pm 3.05.13. 

n you'd think
you wanted war music ...

a bit weird
I'm playing tis
really trippy love music
thinking about a mass murder
shouting at people

an someone sawing
down trees
n the children trying to hide

the kind of love
you'd feel looking at
the scorched battlefield
you know in that dopamine
psychosis ... hearing the dead bodies
smokin

singing of the love
that motivated it
still shooting

and it ain't over 

*************************

a crane jerks the noose upward
powered by a treadwheel
while you cling to the ladder

pitched forward
and winded
gobbling fizzy sherbert

dial m for emotion
too much hairspray ...

he would gently shake your hips
as part of foreplay
like playing with a child

excitement creeping
up your feet like a horror
your kidneys somewhat removed

those smokey eyes a fine
collab for me

it was all beaten black and blue 

**************

blushed hair ... 
a killer sore throat

could be a bit
of a problem 
if that thing jumps on me 

drunks on me 
if that drunk drinks in me 
if that problem drugs out of nowhere 
then it could be a bit of a driblem   

if that droblem dribbles on me 

*************




5.30pm    2.03.13. 

hitting back 

i kept on pummelling 

and pounding drubbing 

a sucker punch roundhouse 

delivered with a wide swing battering 

the whip ... kicking back in self defense ... 

the fight went on for hours a relentless cold war ... 

ending with an uprising of civil disobedience 

storming the armed guard ... enough 

let me die ... he kicked a pastry 

cook in the groin his head 

was sawn off and fixed

on a pike ...  

00.15     10.03.13. © Lizarikk, All Rights Reserved

060119 / 070119 

i was a posh kid 
who deserved to be punished 

rhythmic insistence 

violent aggressive people 
is what i chose 

rap song : the perfect crime

raw scratchy grit
dirty finger prints

up here
with the best of them ... high
five they skipped on
the stars ...
no safety
net appearing
where the core was
thrown open a din that
ruptured the substrata ... that
sparks a neon streak cracking the
sky that cracked open ... that both attract
and repel and flew in oblique directions the
two fiery fireballs that smashed into each other ...

said he was bad news
why did i not heed the warning ?

he said i was too effin easy
n then he called me a tease

is this all feeling a bit weird ?
maybe your date
isn't who they said they were

acid and mushroom trips
were like being a kid again

the perfect crime
did it cause you to become injured ?

did it throw you off the couch ?
did you feel broken, snapped
like that could kill
too much for your organs

and tripping afterwards
people have died from this
mystics have
or gone insane

which way up is this planet ?

archives

3.06am, 3.11.12. © Lizarikk All Rights Reserved

raw scratchy grit
dirty lunt finger prints


19.51, 8.11.12.


drafts

an orgasm of the heart up here
with the best of them ... high
five they skipped on
the stars ...
no safety
net appearing
where the core was
thrown open a din that
ruptured the substrata ... that
sparks a neon streak cracking the
sky that cracked open ... that both attract
and repel and flew in oblique directions the
two fiery fireballs that smashed into each other ...




17.54, 19.11.12. © Lizarikk All Rights Reserved

020119

said he was bad news
why did i not heed the warning ? 

he said i was too fuckin easy 
n then he called me a prick tease