301019 

i wouldn't want a man 
who's all stiff emotionally 

281019 / 291019

was that a different alter ? 

he used to have an Irish accent 
but the same build 
all the mannerisms are there 

n now he has a posh voice 

211019 

just when you most need 
someone to talk to 
when the trauma is building up 

nobody wants to talk about it ! 

211019 

spin the bottle, tutti frutti 
the world was losing its humanity 

211019 

i don't know my limitations 
does straight mean square ? 

suddenly i saw myself as dangerous    
the insides of me exposed to ridicule 

I had nobody to share my pain with 

and then I start to believe

I am no longer human 

literally I feel like an animal 

191019 

i can see that you're angry 
sometimes winds people up  

a climate change protester 
was dragged off a train roof 
and beaten up 

feeling the energy of the tree 

pathological demand resistance 
and wolfism   
remind me of myself   

rough justice 

I've never been to Mars  
someone was watching us   
or is that just paranoia ?  

word jam : blood stained gloves

theres a smokey moon
vinyl has a more earthy texture 
the scratchy grooves 
where a soul is etched 

i just feel stigmatised
i  can't be externalising 
my mental health issues in public 

I'm seen as odd, 
my brain is squirming 
i feel that i stick out 
like a sore thumb 


climate protests 
are about so much more than climate change 
the surveillance , internet, robots,   
they want to come together 
and glue themselves to mother earth 

feeling an amazing energy of connection 
passing between them 

its the other way round 
when nature casts spells on ME  

gender 0.65 

spin the bottle, 
rough house parties 
sharing parties  

orientation 0.01 

i'll pretend to agree 
i'll pretend to disagree  

there were two bloodstained gloves 
and some half eaten pizza 
splattered in the middle of the road 

someone in a very distressed state 

he reached over to the empty tables 
and drank the leftover dregs 

admitting to myself 
things i am deeply ashamed of

the way he speaks about women and stuff 
the kind of charm which is skin deep 
and he thinks he is emotionally supportive 
when he doesnt know the meaning ! 

but that charm and charisma is there ... 

and there it is the same pattern 

we are all on the brink 
of becoming a psychopath   

161019

if everybody is a little bit gay
then everybody is a little bit straight

gender 0.65 

161019 

spin the bottle  

orientation ? 

0.01 

151019 / 161019

i'll pretend to agree 
i'll pretend to argue 

there were two bloodstained gloves 
and some half eaten pizza in the middle 
lying in the road 

its the other way round 
when nature casts spells on me  

someone in a very distressed state 

as Israel is now linked to America 

you'd have thought 
that Rastafaians 
would would have more in common 
no with the Israelis 
but with the Palestinians 

we are all on the brink 
of becoming a psychopath    

spin the bottle, 
rough house parties 
n sharing parties 

151019 

a smokey moon 

141019 

vinyl has a more earthy texture 
the scratchy grooves 
where a soul is etched 

131019 

he reached over to the empty tables 
and drank the leftover dregs 

admitting to myself 
things i am deeply ashamed of 

121019 

even on the internet !
my last relationship / fling
was a friend, and he had actually told me
that he lost his driving licence due to drink


probably sensing that I liked a ' bad boy '
which is usually an alcoholic or a co-alcoholic


and I thought thats it, I'm leaving alone relationships
for about 10 years !


ive heard people make different goals like that
in some fellowships they recommend a year out


and I remember a story in a magazine,
someone had taken 10 years out and then met the right person


I feel that I'm not actually even looking for that at the moment
I have found other things on the internet


except that I now find myself flirting online
and the latest one has guess what , just lost his driving licence !
according to him because of mental health issues
but when I think about it , he sounds mighty alcoholic actually


the way he speaks about women and stuff
the kind of charm which is skin deep
and he thinks he is emotionally supportive
when he actually has no idea what that really entails


but that charm and charisma is there ...


and there it is the same pattern


only now on the internet, I have not gone too far into it
we have not even privately mailed

word jam : correlation therapy

psychic invasion 
began around 2013 

are you saying that correlation is not causality ? 
because I think sometimes it is 
if the rhythm is great enough 

sugardrunk 

yes i have had  occasionally 
a gay fantasy , very fleetingly 
and i would not go on a date with one 

i don't like the pressure 

not Dorothy no 
i think i fancy the tin man 

and old school Machiavellian thinking 
is going out of fashion 
strong man posturing 
some people have a more progressive attitude 
based on tolerance and even love !

what about your right to emotional help ? 

i shouted at the judge 
and stormed out 
i got away with it  

decorum ? 
i was throwing myself at him  

stormy, moody , brooding    

what if there is a lemon on the table 
and your friend says its an orange 

this could be an interesting friendship 
my intentions are platonic 

is this some kind of correction therapy ? 
do i need contraceptives these days ?  

sometimes surrender 
is the right thing to do 

there are things about me 
that i don't know yet 

unrepeatable thoughts 

i feel like I'm being strangled or something 

you need a bit of friction 
what about your right 
to go pot holing ? 

is this a get ready for Brexit pep talk ? 

oh politics is so dull dear 

OK lets talk about blackmail instead then ! 

n now he's trying to be a bad boy 

maybe i could settle for him 
the stakes are high 

some people don't seem to care 
about the Irish border 
as long as they get their end away ... 

121019 


psychic invasion 
began around 2013 

are you saying that correlation is not causality ?
because I think sometimes it is 

if the rhythm is great enough 

sugardrunk 

yes i have had  occasionally 
a gay fantasy , very fleetingly 
and i would not go on a date with one 

i don't like the pressure 

not Dorothea no 
i think i fancy the tin man

old school Machiavellian thinking is going out of fashion
strong man posturing
some people have a more progressive attitude
based on tolerance and even love !

111019 

what about your right to emotional help ? 

shouting at the judge 
and storming out 
i got away with it 

111019 

decorum ? 
i was throwing myself at him  

stormy, moody , brooding    

if you can have cyber sex
how would cyber food go  ? 

what if there is a lemon on the table 
and your friend says its an orange 

this could be an interesting friendship 
my intentions are platonic 

is this some kind of correction therapy ? 
do i need contraceptives these days ?  

sometimes surrender 
is the right thing to do 

there are things about me 
that i don't know yet 

071019 

unrepeatable thoughts 

i feel like I'm being strangled or something 

you need a bit of friction 
what about your right 
to go pot holing ? 

is this a get ready for Brexit pep talk ? 

oh politics is so dull dear 

OK lets talk about blackmail instead then ! 

n now he's trying to be a bad boy 

maybe i could settle for him 
the stakes are high 

some people don't seem to care 
about the Irish border 
as long as they get their end away ... 

word jam : honour killings

glasses and spinning bow ties at work ? 
the fountain of youth ? 

great strides are being taken 
with the honour killings 

as we leave behind the Kali Yuga 

some people can deceive 
without actually lying 

bit of a colourful past 
a serial husband fancier 
commitment phobic 
a sucker for the forbidden 

sometimes surrender 
is the right thing to do 

singled out for a scolding 
from the old school 

in the Aquarian Age 
capitalism and the military 
will be scrutinised 
by the Aquarian bodies 

lost in Lala land 
its possible to deceive 
without actually lying 

no sensation at all ? 
I've gotta be like on the telly 
with wild abandon, n i can't tell him 
that he's rushing me   

cus its possible to fake it 
without realising  

he drove his bike over a cliff 
because of the passion inside him 
on a high 

041019

great strides are being taken 
with the honour killings 

as we leave behind the Kali Yuga 

some people can deceive 
without actually lying 

bit of a colourful past 
a serial husband fancier 
commitment phobic 
a sucker for the forbidden 

sometimes surrender 
is the right thing to do 

singled out for a scolding 
from the old school 

in the Aquarian Age 
capitalism and the military 
will be scrutinised 
by the Aquarian bodies