song ... youtube ...

290416    22.10 

my friends on youtube 

gave me so much 

they said be strong 

we love you MrKatyia 

we want to see you 

always smiling and happy 

thought they watched me cry 

1000 times ... 

re the rail strikes ... 

the rail company will probably win ... 

technology and progress always win ... 

your comments warm her frozen heart ... XXXXXXXX

21.36

Enders is trying to block my uploads on YouTube ... 

Enders today 

sent an actress to swear at me 

and harrass me in the street ...

 
LilyVanhorn12 minutes ago
Hi Mrkatyia, you ever see the trees sway on a windy day? The spinning of the leaves and the rhythm of the moving branches? I saw it in your dancing. Do you like to be in nature?
Reply   
 
MrKatyia1 second ago
+LilyVanhorn
actually i was secretly dancing with trees right there ! X
i have been to tree workshops on the green camps ...

Antar Yoga

I had another spectacular home made curry
this one is from Davina McCalls Smart Carbs
i have made this for several weeks now
usually i would have got bored of a recipe.
it is also a relatively easy one to make ...
after i ate my dinner
a feeling of peace and stillness came over me
i felt stillness in my bones
a feeling that i crave for.

Its a shame i have to have the television on
because of my neighbours unacceptable noises
i cannot just listen to the ambient sounds
and yet the peace came anyway
almost as though you have left your body behind
the days worry suspended

this is from the fib ... 

supporting my aunt in forcing me to act as brothers next of kin ... 

the plan however is not committee approved ... 

19.33

currently there is nobody acting as next of kin 
for my addict brother ... 
officially that would be my Dad 
but i dont know if my brothers care staff 
can contact him without his permission 
or without my brothers permission. 
my aunt said she would act as next of kin 
but she does not seem to understand 
you cannot just decide that 
you have to sign forms with everyone concerned 
that has to consent to the handover ... 

I myself am not well enough to act as next of kin ... 
i dont think that would be even allowed ... 

song : Im in fuckin pain

180416 

Im in fuckin pain

i feel so bad about myself 

im so useless 

a waste of space 

i cant do nothin right 

why was a born here 

to take up peoples time 

i gotta get this pain outta my fuckin system 

160416 

light is not perfection ... 

 
zDarako1 hour ago
Hiii katyyy, it's me again. Maybe if you call the police and tell them about this problem will be dengerous if they don't do anything, becouse as you say your neighbour know that you might have call. Does your neighbour someone who can talk?
Reply   
 
MrKatyia41 minutes ago
+zDarako
thankyou no i can't talk to them they are not very nice ...
i try not to call the police usually as it will make trouble for myself as well.
i hope you have a  good evening
Reply1   
 
zDarako27 minutes ago
+MrKatyia Ty katy, here is midnight hahah. So try to chill out, listen to music with headphones. Don't get in trouble, we appreciate you a lot. <3333
Reply  

well maybe you cant 
but i can tell the difference ... 
they dont seem to have family around any more ... 

19.27

next door , the pedophiles dog 

is making alot of noise ... 

i need to rest and prepare for a difficult meeting tomorrow 

to do wiht my finances ... 

4pm

i seem to have embarked on anohter internet relationship ... 

only this time i can see that its doomed ... 

im trying not to get my feelings involved 

although they are ... 

like here we go again ... 

 
Demoman stares at you. forever.45 minutes ago
I hope you're feeling better. You sound like a good person.
Reply    
 
MrKatyia1 second ago
+Demoman stares at you. forever.
much

090416     4pm

maybe i left it too long ... 

I decided i should have a sexual experience 

to bring my anger down ...

20.32 

it seems that the family 

all turned out to help me get trhough my illness 

and that nobody has any energy left for my brother ... 

it then falls to me

to take him on by myself ... 

which means that i cant recover 

and this is also not going to be enough for him ... 

somebody needs to do the maths ... 

090416     4pm

I seem to be back on social media with a vengeance ... 

flirting with peopel ... 

only this time im trying not to get my heart involved ... 

this person is not your partner 

its just some sort of an internet game you are playing ...

14.13

I am afraid to have sex 

in case it makes my nose bleed ... 

Jeenfall9 hours ago
+MrKatyia Oh wow she is concernd now
Reply   
 
MrKatyia1 second ago
+Jeenfall
yes she has written a letter to support me
although if this was a thriller
that could still be a trick !

its like i try to climb out of my illness

and i can feel the fresh air above me and see the light

and then another wave comes and slaps me down x

they seem to think i have nothing else to do
as if i did not have these diagnoses ...
Reply   
 
MrKatyia1 second ago
+MrKatyia
i think its a disgrace for them
to be associated with such an unpalatable reality ...



which calls into question the virtue of their daughters ...

13.08

no wonder my mum had to go to hospital ... 


speaking of picking at scabs ...