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in the darkness of my mind 
n i never want to see him again 

he's loud and aggressive 
cyber sex made me psychotic 

this harrowing tragedy 
like being prised open 

he doesnt care how i feel 

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typical adult child

so anyway 
i fancied this guy 


n its not a promise 

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well I'm not feeling it 

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even in hospital
i remember dancing round the living room
with some other patients
waving my zimmer frame in the air
and cracking up laughing !

i thought at the time
that i would not be able to live in my home again
that i would have to go into sheltered accommodation

in some ways i felt free
there were whole weekends
where i didnt have to buy anything
or touch any cash
all the meals being provided
and having the company at mealtimes
practicing my communication skills

i got especially good
at negotiating what we were going to watch on tv
even with aggressive, scary people !

not that i would like to go back there
i hope that things don't happen in threes ...

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n ill never have it nailed 
but i made good friends along the way 
they love me for who i am 
and what more could i ask 

but I'm still at war with the neighbours 
n things will never change 

n so i must love myself 
in spite of this flaw 
i am still a beautiful child 
falling down to their level 

somehow things will change 
we'lll see the cracks in the ceiling 
where the light gets in 
reminding us of a better life 

n its just a trick of the light 

i don't even know him 
its highly unlikely 
to be possible 

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so, tell us what you do ! 

i knew i could tell you how i felt 
actually I'm a zombie 
at least i will be 
if i watch any more screens 
or take any more pills 

i hear distant drums 
bullied online 

my broken soul 
it was like he couldn't stop himself 

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troubled 

we'll make an entrance 
with a honeysuckle trellis 
n untangle my brain 

n i don't want to go to work 
i don't even wanna be here 
struggling to find 
the will to live 

I've been dropped off on the moon 
so i clung to security 

n so I'm here 
just rotting away 
n how are you feeling today ? 

n the risk of serious injury 
so i became a zombie 

it was snowing 
and the world stopped for us 
just you and me 
and the silent flakes 

the rest of them disappeared 
and the only warmth was you 

these four walls
are closing in 

violently angry
my bad thoughts are taking over