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awake and asleep 
at the same time 

maybe if we're both being flash mobbed 
it might explain 
why he hasn't contacted me 

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theres a gift of stars for me somewhere 
some of them can only be seen 
when you look away 

is funny and relaxed and flirty in a humorous way
I feel as if we have ' chemistry '
I also think I have met him before online
in 2008 and 2011, and that he had a famous partner
who he has now left

I think he is a very loving and affectionate person
with a big open heart
and I could do with some of that !

there is a bit of a question mark
about his being 10 years younger 

 a handful ? as in I feel alot older than him 

but would still go for coffee as a friend ! 

not smooth 

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receiving love 
is like sunshine warming you
on a cold day 
sinking into your skin 

penetrating through to your heart 

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four dimensional wooden things 
with a grainy texture 

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sounds of geese flying overhead 
i can hear the spirits again 

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solo curious


to be honest some of my best experiences in life
have been on my own
I think no performance issues
no expectations, disagreements , resentments

no self consiousness


like also this year a friend offered to come with me
for my paragliding trip
I thought about it and said no
because I didnt want to be thinking
about how I would look from the outside
when I'm trying to concentrate on whats going on inside