childhood

10am 

my childhood was an idyllic illusion 

oblvious to my brothers 

suffering  ... 

n it went wrong at 12 when mother  

developed a mental illness 






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n wed fight over the design of puppet theatres 

n board games 

and real punches n stuff 

mother said i should let him have more of a say 

n that his creative ideas were just as good 

********

n we had 

moustrap 

wacky races 

n buckaroo 

****************

an then suddenly i was no longer the Queen 

i was a cold and heavy brain 

and my brother was the one who had feeling she said .... 

an these thoughts paved the way for my relationship with Fox 

who not only resembled her right down to 

the smell of his skin 

and also seemed to be offering me a cure ...